To ask what age you would say is no longer dying young

I’m shocked 79 is life expectancy for men. My dad is 72 and seems young still… I’d say 85+ is expected.

I’d say 80+ - but if we are talking family members I think it can depend on your own age too. I lost my Mum when she was 75 but because she had me later on in life I was still in my 30s so felt as though I’d lost a significant amount of time with her.

My MIL is now 85 but as she had my DH when she was in her early 20s he’s had so much more time with his Mum.

But the average lifespan for men in the UK is 79.

It is very odd to me to say that it is unexpected and too early unless someone is aged 85+

If someone is late 70s, I wouldn’t class them as being too young to die.

I’d say 60. These days, it’s on the younger side to die, but there are enough people with cancer and chronic conditions that someone dying at 60 doesn’t sound shocking.

My grandparents are 92 and 93 and taking care of themselves and popping off to the shops and the chemists when needed.

I would say dying below the age of 80 is ‘young’ but many people go on to live a lot longer than that these days don’t they.

Mid-late 80s seems standard for my family so anything pre-75 would be earlier than expected, but I'd say 'died young' is anyone 45 and under.

Unfortunately for me this gives the expectation that my 3 living grandparents will die in the next few years, however none of them seem 'old' despite some health issues they are all fiercely independent and active in life.

A lot depends on the person involved. My Dad will be 80 soon and he is still fit, active and skiing!

Yet MIL is 6yrs younger but looks/acts 15yrs older than him.

The average (mean) represents the most frequent age of death. There's a wide range either side where death is still very common.
I would say if someone dies at -1 standard deviation from the mean, that is dying young.
(Sorry, being a stats nerd).

80+

My sister passed this year at 62 and that definitely felt very young.

My dad passed at 78, which did not feel young but he had had cancer for six years and when he first fell ill when he was 72 that did still feel like he had a lot of life left and had not been retired long enough after all those years of working.

My mum is now 88 and she would be the first to tell you she is ready to be with the love of her life again, be thrown over his shoulder and run upstairs with, as he used to do for a joke when we were kids.

Maybe that's part of the formula. If they were still together, even with him now at 92 (as he would be), maybe they would still feel that life had more to offer, but I know my mum doesn't feel that, no matter how much of a fuss we make and how many grandchildren/great-grandchildren she has.

I have had 3 friends die, one at 41 and the other 2 were 54, DH had a friend from University die who was only 38. These were all far too soon and one of the 54 year olds had her children at 40 and 42.

I think under 70 seems a bit unfair as it seems expected to live longer but it’s not young at all, I write this just a decade from this age.

I would say young 35/40.
I was sad my colleague died mid 50s.
my relative had heart attack at 50.
A lot of relatives living to 90-95 and in some ways its too long as there was a steep decline in early 90s.
i think under 50 now likely wont have seen their kids grow up

That is heartbreaking and really is too young. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Interesting thread. I have experienced several family deaths of people between the ages of 72-75. All were described as young to die, and I just couldn't see it.

Many justified the claim that being in your 30s, 40s or 50s and losing a parent was young. But it is actually quite normal.

I have always felt my view on this was very out of whack with the mainstream. And this thread confirms it.

That is the downside of having children very late. I dont consider 50 years old to be ‘young’ in any sense of the word, but obviously it is young to die, but not dying ‘young’ in my view, just much earlier than you would expect.

My grandparents became great grandparents when they were 75. One passed not long after and it really hurt as it was sudden but the age wasn’t unusual. I think under 50 is young to die and under 70 is too soon.

<70

Anything over 70 isn't dying young. Really anything post state pension age. My dad is 73 and if he died tomorrow that wouldn't be shocking or tragic. My granny is 100 and that's far too bloody old! Looks painful and unpleasant. I certainly want to bugger off at least a decade before then.

Mid 70s onward. My dad is 78, was always super fit and energetic. He has just shifted in the last couple of years.... He is still in excellent health for his age but doesn't have the energy he had, the long trips are no longer being planned, he finds the grandchildren increasingly overwhelming, he's struggled to keep up with his more active hobbies. He seems to fall asleep more, his appetite has definitely dropped. There's no going back once it starts.

Good point.
'Dying young' = under 50.
'Dying a fair bit earlier than I'd expect in this area at this time' = under 80

Most of my older relatives have died in their mid to late 80s, so I feel a bit shocked when I hear of people dying in their early 70s. But some people have physical illnesses and dementia and need care in their 70s and seem much older than my aunt who died after a shirt illness at 91. She was living alone and caring for herself and her pets until the last 3 weeks or so of her life.

I am very much a quality not quantity person. I want to be around to support my dc and enjoy life. I don't want to reach a certain age if it means poor quality of life to get there.

I came on to say exactly this!

As the SPA rises I think anyone who doesn’t get 10 years as a pensioner has died too soon, so before 77.

My DM is in her late 90s she is awesome, still cooks a roast dinner, does her own washing, changes her bed etc, staunch republican, thinks the Labour Party is too right wing, can name most of the cabinet. Tells me what’s happening in the world. I think that if she doesn’t make 100 she will have died too young!

Given the average age of dying in UK, anyone who dies before age that is dying young. That’s not to say they are a young person.
My husband died at 76. Sooner than expected but his father died at 65, his brother at 52, all heart related. Too young to die, but not young.
My dad died at 85, my mum at 92, so I am expecting to do the same or longer. I and my friends are all 80+, all very active
socially and mentally.
Don’t write everyone off at 70. That’s far too young.

DH is soon turning 50 and we have dc still in primary. We are not unusually old parents at the school gates either. I know of women having babies at 42/43 so them dying at 50 would leave v young children. I was only just at uni when my parents turned 50 and would have considered myself too young for them to die then too.

Dying young is 40s and under
Dying before you would expect or /hope is anything under 75 for me.