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Original poster

Little bit pissed off with ‘friends’ over Christmas

213 replies

bigsisteriswatchingyou · 01/01/2026 19:29

I sent 2 friends a small Christmas gift each by post as live too far away to meet, one opened hers as soon as received and sent Whstsapp thankyou message, the other opened hers on Christmas Day and also sent WhatsApp thankyou message, neither sent me a Christmas card or anything… won’t be bothering next year.

OP posts:
BlackCat14 · 01/01/2026 19:50

Yeah to be honest, I don’t think your friends have done anything wrong here. It wouldn’t cross my mind to send an adult friend a gift in the post, if I wasn’t seeing them in person.

SellFridges · 01/01/2026 19:47

Don’t send gifts to receive.

mondaytosunday · 01/01/2026 19:47

Yea why do you bother? I only give a (token) gift if I’m seeing someone very near the day.
I was the last of my friends to have kids and I used to get them gifts. Then I had my own. One year my DD got a Boots toothbrush worth about 89p. I had bought her DD a Sylvannia family for about £20. And another texted me ‘oh I know you gave my kids gifts but they get so many I have no idea what you gave but thank you’. In April. She never gave my kids anything. Never gave a gift outside the family after that.
Cards are way down though. Too expensive. I still sent almost 40.

Ellie1015 · 01/01/2026 19:46

Small gift by post just makes me feel bad if I dont reciprocate or an extra job to get gift, parcel paper and get to post office.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 01/01/2026 19:46

I wouldn’t think so. As a group posting presents isn’t the normal for you, they probably appreciated your thoughtful gesture while thinking you weren’t giving to receive, a thank you text from them is enough. Yabu.

Original poster
bigsisteriswatchingyou · 01/01/2026 19:42

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 01/01/2026 19:36

Do you historically give gifts to these friends?

What kind of gifts are you exchanging? I think now people are really aware of the absurdity of sending across a generic gift (box of chocolates, hand cream, wine, boots toiletry set etc) to receive in return a generic gift, that isn’t even your favourite kind of chocolate/toiletries.

Might as well send someone a nice picture, raising a drink to them and a heartfelt message instead.

Usually we’d all meet up for pre- Christmas lunch and exchange cards, but price of stamps is silly so I decided to get small smelly gift not a fortune £6 the same for both

OP posts:
ItsOnlyHobnobs · 01/01/2026 19:36

Do you historically give gifts to these friends?

What kind of gifts are you exchanging? I think now people are really aware of the absurdity of sending across a generic gift (box of chocolates, hand cream, wine, boots toiletry set etc) to receive in return a generic gift, that isn’t even your favourite kind of chocolate/toiletries.

Might as well send someone a nice picture, raising a drink to them and a heartfelt message instead.

ShawnaMacallister · 01/01/2026 19:35

Probably best if you don't bother next year- most adults don't want to give or receive Christmas gifts from friends - it adds far too many people to an already long and expensive list. Even less so if you aren't even seeing each other in person to exchange.

Changingplace · 01/01/2026 19:34

Sometimes I do gifts for friends and sometimes I run out of time and energy and don’t.

Anything I’m given I’m pleased to have been thought of, and when I give it’s not to receive :) If you don’t want to do gifts then don’t, but I don’t think anything should only be given so you expect something back.

vincettenoir · 01/01/2026 19:33

I think it’s reasonable not to send them a gift next year so YNBU.

But I wouldn’t judge them too harshly for not sending Xmas cards. It’s really dropping off in general. I didn’t receive many this year and anecdotally others are experiencing the same.

OriginalSkangCantGetInAccount · 01/01/2026 19:33

If you didn't all agree in advance you were doing gifts then YA 100% BU to be pissed off

Snoken · 01/01/2026 19:32

I don’t think you should send anything next year. A lot of people want less people to buy for, less of the mental effort it takes to buy and ship stuff, less money to spend. I really appreciate that my friends don’t give me anything as I don’t want to feel like I have to reciprocate.

Evaka · 01/01/2026 19:31

Oh, I wouldn't sweat it. Last year I met up with two friends and gave small gifts, they didnt. This year one did and I and the other didnt. Next year we might all manage.

Thoughtful of you but don't give to receive- it's a recipe for sore feeling.

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