Little bit pissed off with ‘friends’ over Christmas

Well I guess they’re not psychic 🤷🏻‍♀️

They might have not thought about it this year, but do it next year. If it doesn't happen next year, I wouldn't bother anymore.

You are being ridiculous. Some friend you are!

You either can't be that close to them, for this to be what ends your friendship. Or this is just the last straw in a series of events that's got your down.

I'm not sure I understand why, if you guys agreed no cards due to stamp costs, you then posted something and expected something back. If giving gifts isn't usual for you and they both thanked you then obviously they appreciated them but had no expectations to receive and therefore to give.

You also as a side note, don't know that the next time you meet up they won't gift you something.

If you get in a huff and cool the friendship over this, that's entirely on you. They've done nothing wrong. At all.

They thanked you, they haven’t done anything wrong. If I were them I can tell you what my reaction would be - I would also have thanked you of course, but I might feel slightly peeved that you created a potential present-buying obligation when I’m against needless present buying (check out Martin Lewis’ campaign about this!) I would also be putting it to one side to donate to the hygiene/food bank or charity shop as I’m 99% sure I wouldn’t need or want whatever it is anyway (sorry!)

I really hate receiving unexpected token gifts. This Christmas I received a surprise gift of a set of Christmas-themed hand towels. Totally not my thing; I'll never use them, so they'll eventually make their way onto Vinted. I had to reciprocate; I'd packed myself a lovely fragrance item, and had to grudgingly wrap and gift that.

You've really put 'friends' in quotation marks over this as though they're not real friends as they're not mind readers?

You are willing to ditch them as friends because they didn't buy you a gift, even though you haven't done gifts in the past? It was a thoughtful thing you did. They will likely try and return the favour in some way e.g. buy you a drink, get you a birthday present etc.

Your questioning your friendship because they didn't send you a £6 gift? There has to be more to this!

I don’t send Christmas cards. It’s nothing personal to them but I do text greetings and thank you’s.

If it irks you that much that you got thank you texts but not a card then best you just leave it from now on. No point in giving gifts if you feel resentful.

Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face!! YABU. You said you usually exchange cards but because of the price of postage you decided you might aswel send a gift for the same amount, so how were friends to know you’d send a gift when you usually only exchange cards? Also you say at this time of year you put yourself out for family and friends (which you did) but surely you don’t do that if you only expect things in return

In two minds about meeting them because you posted a 6 quid gift and they didn’t?? That’s bonkers. They’re your friends, life is too short. Don’t be pissy over 12 quid, they may have a present they are waiting to give you in person like a candle or something which you obviously couldn’t post.

I still post presents to my uni friends and it’s a complete pain in the ass. I hate doing it every year. I queue in the post office for 25 mins to post the same old socks or scarf and it costs about a fiver. Pointless.

Surely you don’t give gifts to receive the equivalent value in return? It’s 6 quid - a nice gesture to show you’re thinking of them- you haven’t lent anyone a kidney. The fact you didn’t get anything in return doesn’t take anything away from your gesture or it’s supposed meaning.

Best not to bother next year if you can’t give for the right reasons.

I think you’re being unreasonable. You can’t expect people to mind read that you’ve decided to get gifts this year when you usually don’t. They said thank you I can’t see they’ve done anything wrong.

You don't give to receive, hope that helps.

If you usually give a gift then I can understand why you're disappointed but you've said you usually meet in person and clearly they both had the same thought or lack of thought over buying a gift. Are you likely to see them next year? If not, don't post a gift, but I imagine they might send you something next year, if they weren't expecting anything.

What? You are willing to lose friends over £6 candles? You don’t normally exchange gifts, you decided that you would send them something this year without them knowing you were, they thanked you and now you want to give up the friendships? It’s ridiculous.

So you don’t normally exchange gifts? That could be why they didn’t send you one.

Me and my Best friends don't exchange gifts but this year one of them very kindly sent me a xmas decoration in the post I did not reciprocate because I had enough to do and I don't feel that they did that just to get a gift in return.
Also - It could have been anything. From not as close friends this year I got perfume I don't like, hand creams I cannot use, a vibrating neck cusion that is just noisy and not relaxing, Candles which I never use.
I had to go out and get them a present as it is the "done thing" in that circle and quite frankly I would rather have not received any of that crap or had to buy them general tat.
We are adults for gods sake. If I want crao I can buy it myself!
If anyone had asked me, I would jhave likes some fluffy PJs and socks and a good book.

She bought her a cheap toothbrush? For a kid - that's worse than giving nothing at all.

Throughout my adult life, me and all my friends have considered it optional to give gifts to friends at Christmas. Sometimes, we all do, sometimes I miss a year or they miss one. It's not a big deal really. It's more casual with friends in that way, because you all understand each other.

I had thought that was standard, birthdays are a bit less casual. And, the occasional "I saw this and thought of you" gift, or gift from holidays happens too.

Totally upto to you wheter you send presents again or not. There's nothing unreasonable about that. But, it's not worth getting upset over either. Expecting gifts back, while giving them, kind of defeats the point imo and just adds unnecessary stress at an already stressful part of the year.

I tend to give small gifts to friends but don't mind if I don't get something in return so long as I'm thanked.

I nearly fell out with a friend who cancelled our pre christmas meet up, that in itself wasn't such an issue but I had a gift to give her and I asked if I could drop it off and she didn't reply. I re gifted the gift and she won't be getting anything next year.

It seems that your gifts were unexpected, so they hadn't thought to include you in their shopping or their present buying budget. I wouldn't have expected anything back in your position.

As for cards, I get fewer every year, and even friends in another part of the country who would normally send one, didn't this year. It doesn't upset or offend me, though I do miss the days when we all used to get loads and they were a big part of my Christmas decor!