Little bit pissed off with ‘friends’ over Christmas

To be frank, this is rarely the kind of gift that people actually want. It’s gifting for gifting’s sake and it’s very wasteful.

If they are otherwise good friends, I would not based your view of them around cheap, token gifts at Christmas.

This is absolutely not petty at all. It sounds like a very reasonable course of action.

I think there is more to it.

Do you feel a bit let down generally by these friends?

You're going to let a £6 gift stop you from meeting your friends for lunch??? You sound a bit petty tbh.

You would loose 2 good friends over a bit of tat that neither would have been expecting

It isn’t petty…
op did it once and hoped for a matched interest. You waited 15years? Yah, stop :)

I think maybe she has not as much money as you? It is tough but of course it does sometimes impair relationship as one can feel let down if the other doesn’t make effort to try and reciprocate in another thoughtful way… a card can be made and unexpensive for exemple…

that was nice until you have to have something in exchange.

I think that’s called cutting off your nose to spite your face, op.

No matter what you do, you won't be able to do right for doing wrong!
About 7 years ago I suggested to a friend that we stop giving each other gifts (primarily because she'd bought me exactly the same gift for the previous 10 christmases that she knew I would never use and actually still had them all in a drawer).
She argued that I was the only person in her life that ever gave her gifts, so no, as far as she was concerned, we had to continue, so I agreed, although I did put my foot down and said 'please don't ever buy me 'x' again because look, here are the 10 you've bought me over the past decade, and they're all still in their cellophane wrappers, I've not used one of these items in over 20 years'!
So, because she said we had to continue with birthday and christmas gifts, I've continued, but for the past 4 years, she's only ever sent me a (cheap) card (by post) for my birthday and christmas, despite me travelling over 350miles to visit her at least 5 times a year and taking her beautiful (expensive) cards and lovely, thoughtful gifts (she has only ever visited my home once in the 20+ years we've been friends).
I've now (finally) realised that this friendship is not as important to her as it is to me, and definitely more weighted in her favour, so I've decided that from this year I won't be visiting anywhere near as often as I always have, nor will my visits coincide with her birthday/christmas, and I'll just send bog standard cards by post from now on.
Petty? Maybe.
Am I going to be putting myself first in future? OMG, most definitely!

You sound like hard work op

You sent them gifts out of the blue, they most likely didn't think the three of you would be doing gifts, since you weren't seeing each other! Plus, you sound like one of the annoying people who give presents to show off, or give to receive! Not the spirit of gift giving, for any occasion!

It's actually weird, and could even be considered offensive, like they think you don't take care of your child's teeth.

This. It's not a fucking competition. My friends gave me far too expensive gifts btw and I told them, next year, only ONE gift. A book. I love books. I hate the excess and I have not been quilty of it myself. Enough is enough. If Jesus saw how many of us are getting INTO DEBT BECAUSE OF HIS SO CALLED BIRTHDAY!!! He would have a thing or two to say about it!

Seriously?
You sound like you don't think much of their friendship outside of the material aspect of it.

I think you expect too much.

But surely you don't give to receive..?

Also, never expect from others for what you do/give to them.
Hugely disappointing.

I sent one of my best friends who lives far away a book I knew she would love by an author I wanted to support… she’s been having a tough time and couldn’t see us at new year as planned due to family reasons. I wanted her to know I was thinking of her and to give her a little surprise when the parcel came in the post. I 100% didn’t expect her to give me a gift - I might get her one next year… or not - I absolutely don’t give to receive - she’s a great friend. I wouldn’t be fussed by not getting gifts in return. I don’t bother with cards at all anymore.

I love this, and completely agree!!! Show your friends and family you love them!

Considering it isn't the norm to exchange gifts between you, YABU.

It hard to get right with friends, one of ours got us a whisky this year and we didn't get anything as we don't usually, but we sent a whisky for a big professional achievement one had in the year so maybe it was a return thing, just can't keep up and can't know if someone will bring a pressy out on friend meet ups in December 😆 they didn't care as we've been friends for about 17 yrs and don't see eachother much now, not something they'd ever fall out over and vice versa.

Exactly this

Me too. I’m relieved that I don’t need to buy too many! I wouldn’t want people to give presents (other than close family) as I’d feel that I had to reciprocate. Also I buy myself what I really want and rarely receive a gift that I actually want!

Last year I bought everyone in family secret Santa a small additional gift and they didn’t. This year they all did and I didn’t. Wasn’t annoyed last year and didn’t feel bad this year. Once Christmas is over it’s too late I feel, you just have to guess (or discuss it!) and not expect everyone to be on the same page.

We have a Secret Santa for adults. Everyone gets one nice present. And then, we indulge the children... but I was highly impressed to receive proper handwritten thank you notes from my niece's 8yo and 5yo (who had help from mum with the big words) on NYE.

First mistake is giving a gift expecting to receive one back.
A gift isn't a contract or agreement. Just as they say don't lend money you can't afford to lose, don't give gifts on the proviso you get one in return.. It's a bit entitled and it isn't really a gift if there are conditions/expectations attached.

I find it odd how fast you are blowing hot then cold over these friendships. One moment you are posting them Christmas gifts, then because you didn't get any back you are no longer sure whether you want to meet them for lunch. Most likely they are super busy, stretched in terms of time and money and just haven't got the mental band width to be choosing, buying, wrapping and posting thoughtful gifts to all their friends.