Little bit pissed off with ‘friends’ over Christmas

Better to plan a girls weekend than worry about Xmas gifts. I personally only buy presents for 12 and under. I asked my friends to let’s stop doing gifts, rather go to dinner and a show, something like that.

So you only give to receive ??

How much was the postage on each of these gifts ?

surely more than the cost of a 2nd or even a 1st class stamp.

I don't get how the price of postage for a card is too much but u bought 2 gifts at £6 each and i assume posted them?

You said yous don't usually exchange gifts so it was you that started the gift giving. I really don't see how you can be upset about this.

You said you were going to meet up for lunch next time you're in London but you are now in 2 minds about it. I think you are being dramatic. You are going to lose these friends over being petty.

I absolutely detest having to post or return things. It takes a lot of effort to buy, wrap & stand in a long line of people to post something to someone. Especially at Christmas. Yabu to expect this of your friends,, sorry. Although I can see why you are disappointed. At least they thanked you anyway. Maybe you could all arrange a lunch date after Christmas instead of giving gifts?

Seriously? Over a £6 gift? 🤦‍♀️

Is there something else going on with the friendship that you’d drop them over that?

There was obviously a reason that you sent them the gifts. Are they no longer deserving cause they didnt buy you one back? I buy my friends gifts for verious reasons, i might give the gift to them on a birthday or Xmas but thats not the reason they have the gift. I obviously tell them what I appreciated they did or whatever but the gift isn't because I want a gift, it's for showing them something they did/said was meaningful to me.

Yes it's such a shame regarding the cost of stamps now 💚

Agree about the Xmas cards. Stamps are just too damned expensive.

You decided to send a gift as you hadn't met up as normal. I don't think you can really get upset that they didn't do the same, it probably wouldn't have crossed my mind to send a gift either.

I might have posted a card, but again, if the usual routine was to meet and exchange cards, then I am not sure I would have necessarily remembered to post it with all the other stuff going on.

I can see why you are annoyed, but I think it's unreasonable.

Also, surely it cost more to buy and send a £6 gift than it would have cost to send one Christmas card, so your reasoning for deciding to sending a gift doesn't make sense to me.

Yes completely concur with Sincere Soul 💚Manners cost nothing & just a mere thank you is common decency & bare minimum relational respect
I'm glad you self respectfully chose to not send again when they couldn't be bothered to say thank you 💚
God Bless You Sincere Soul
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best 💚🫂💚

This is click bait right? You want to lose friends over a £6 gift they didn’t reciprocate? Priceless! You are luck to have any “friends” if this is the real you!

I am totally confused, you don’t send cards because of cost, instead you give an unexpected cheap gift? What does Christmas become? I don’t think you are thinking rationally. Those gifts probably went straight in the charity bin.
Maybe next year you might feel a little more fulfilled if you consider doing some voluntary work for Crisis or perhaps going to church.

How old are you? Didn't anybody ever teach you - don't give to receive.

So you agreed not to do cards because of postage costs but you sent them a gift anyway. And you’re annoyed that they didn’t reciprocate? YABU.

What I would say is that I don’t think it’s been inconsideration. I think they didn’t realise would send a gift and then it’s been too late to return the gesture. Look out for how they respond at your birthday or next Christmas. I think it’s totally understandable that it hurt you. You’ve shown how much the mean to you and that’s not been returned. It could also be that you value that relationship more than they do and that’s not them being unkind, more that distance is a barrier for them and they don’t think of you as often.

This for me is how we rate our friends.
What is it we value in them?
What positive energy do they bring to us and why do we keep them as friends?

If the relationship is based on present giving alone then that has not been fulfilled. But I guess friends for OP is more than present giving.
But if OP values them more than this then there is a need to reflect and rethink.

For me most of my friends do not exchange cards because we see each other frequently.
I do not exchange presents with any friends as it probably would lead them and me buying tat.

I used to send a gift to friends in the USA. I never expected anything in return but a couple of years ago I didn’t receive a message to say it had arrived, so I messaged and asked. It had arrived and they loved it! The same thing happened last year … this year I didn’t send a gift. It doesn’t take much to send a message to at least acknowledge something …

Yes & it doesn't seem she expected anything back other than a basic Christmas card which is expecting too much 🙏

I'm sorry to hear your friends didn't think to even bother letting you know why they couldn't /didn't send you Christmas cards 💚🫂💚
I know some folks have stressed how they've stopped sending because the cost of stamps has increased, so I empathise with this - However if this is the case with your friends, they might've found the sensitivity to let you know this 💚Especially when you were so thoughtful sending them both gifts too-I know it's difficult to remember or take comfort from this just now, but every loving thoughtful act you deliver, will eventually be rewarded, even if it seems ignored now - God sees the bigger picture & will reward your kind heart
God Bless You&Yours Consistently
💚🫂💚

You don't give to receive!! The thank you was enough, no thanks from them woukd gave annoyed me.

You shouldn't expect anything in return when gifting others. Otherwise what you're doing is trading not gifting.

i only buy gifts because I want to/see something someone would like. Not because I expect something back or not of obligation. I can’t imagine throwing a friendship away about them not buying you some random junk back. Don’t buy gifts if you expect something back.

Honestly feel the same this year only bought for kids no adults so much easier

Sounds like you usually meet up and don’t do gifts. Therefore if you decided to do this out of the norm, YABU!