To think that if a man in his 40s needs to be hinted at and told for months about getting married then he doesn’t really want to get married?

Getting married is for making babies and having a family. If my Wife left me that'd be if. No point getting married if it's not about that.

I think the presumption should be of not wanting to marry. There will be exceptions of course, such as men who just never get round to doing certain things (we have probably all worked with people both male and female like that).

2 adults decide and you talk about what you both feel comfortable with / find romantic or memorable for the proposal engagement party wedding etc. No coaxing or coaching involved but some men feel the burden of toxic masculinity more than others and can get anxious imo

The idea of waiting for the man to propose is so weird to me. You're two adults in a presumably serious relationship, just have the conversation and decide if you both want to get married.

I only have one friend whose husband was ready for marriage before she was. I think in most cases marriage is discussed before any proposal and it’s usually the woman who brings it up the topic.

I think if you meet someone when you are late 30’s or beyond you should have that conversation early on.
eg do you want any/ more children.
do you want to get married in the future.
would you like to move in together in the future.

I find it bizarre when people haven’t even spoken about it then expect someone to propose without even knowing what their thoughts are on marriage.

I am 43. I wouldn’t consider getting married now for various reasons but mainly as I want my children to inherit from me and make future medical decisions etc. I would love to live with someone in the future but not if that involved blending families/ children.

My partner and I spoke about it all when we met. He doesn’t want to get married as he is a lot better off than me financially so in his position he would be silly to get married.
He would like us to live together but agrees
that it would be too difficult whilst we both have children living at home.

If he suddenly proposed now it would be odd as we haven’t had a discussion to say we have changed our minds. I would say no.

I find the idea of proposals can be very misogynistic anyway. Why does the man get to have all the power and make all the decisions. I know several couples where the man used it as a bargaining tool.
Eg Stop arguing with me and I’ll consider proposing this year. This was used when she raised very valid points about his behaviour so she wasn’t “arguing with him.”

I don’t understand why people can’t just have an adult conversation about what they both want and this either aligns, it doesn’t align but they are happy to compromise or it doesn’t align and it’s a deal breaker for them.

Yup. Most people would discuss their future plans for a relationship with their significant other. In 2026 the decision to marry should not be the sole preserve of one person.

IMO The decision to marry is a joint decision..Both parties should have a say.

Correct.

He doesn’t want to.