to feel resentful I’ve used my AL for childcare while DH saves his for child-free time?

Sit him down now and tell him that the situation that happened this xmas will never happen again. In future any time nursery is closed the two of you will at the very least share taking AL (although if it is closed at Easter, I'd let him cover it on the basis you did this christmas).

This kind of thing can destroy a relationship. He needs to understand that it is unfair and cannot happen again.

It's kind of crazy that you just booked off all the time needed to care for your son without having a discussion with your husband first. Next time just say that you'll do half the week and he has to do the other half. You have to have a conversation about it.

So Dh needs to book off all the bank holidays this year when the nursery will be closed. You've done your bit. He has to do his.

Have you considered getting a child minder?

And he knows all this.

And allows you to do it.

He doesn't step up and say, hey wait a minute, this isn't fair. I'll take leave instead.

No.

He's fine with doing less, and watching you be exhausted and doing more. He's happy with the situation.

Because it's in his interests, and he's ok with that. He's coming off best in the situation.

So he keeps schtum.

And let's you.

We sit together every year and plan who is taking what leave separately to cover school holidays, where we are off together, and both tey to keep a few days leave spare to cover child sickness.
You need a calendar like this.
We each (kids included) have a column.
https://amzn.eu/d/1N9sAPH

This!!!

And make him enter his agreed days into his work calendar.

Also, if you have to take a block on your own, can you afford to make it into a little holiday for you and baby? Even if you are staying at home head off out and make the focus about having fun. The household jobs can wait, babies grow up so fast, use the time to make lovely memories.

Do not have any more DC with him until he seriously changes his ways.

Tell him he needs to start sharing parenting, next time child is off, so is he.

Your biggest mistake here is the assumption you made that he would consider it to be a “him problem”. Next year, grab the calendar and say “ok so I can take x, y, z as annual leave, then I’m working a, b, c day, can you make sure you book annual leave for those days to cover looking after child?”

Completely agree with this. It’s a wholly unfair situation but… why have you not spoken to him about this?

If you both work equally then the leave is split equally between you. What could he possibly say to argue against this arrangement?

You have the conversation and don’t assume the load. Because before you know it, you will laugh at a few days of nursery closure when faced with the reality of school holidays…

As he walks through the door hand him his child and go out for a couple of hours.
But yes agree with everyone else this needs sorting now for the future

It isn't op who doesn't enjoy /want to care for her own dc...
Your dh is frankly a dick..

The good thing is he will have AL left to cover any illness over the next couple of months 😃

Exactly this
he sounds selfish!
you need to split this

if he won’t split it then tell him you’ll split from him and are going for 50/50 custody then he’ll have to do something

what a dickhead I’m sorry he’s treating you like this it’s totally unacceptable x

Just don’t allow it to happen. Have a conversation about the time your child cannot go to nursery and agree who will be looking after him. Obviously what has occurred is totally unreasonable and he’s an arse for not volunteering but I’m not sure why you let it happen this way?

I think we are often most cross when we are partly cross with ourselves for allowing a thing to happen. This seems to be one of those cases. You're understandably angry with DH for his lack of consideration and lack of load-sharing. But deep down you may also be angry with yourself for not addressing this with him in advance.

You both have a shitty attitude towards your kid but that aside, can't you just divide up the time or take some of it together.

Me and DP split our AL days to cover childcare. My parents (now in their 60s) did this too!

Surely that's normal? You need to discuss this with him rather than just booking all your AL to cover nursery days and then seething

Well I suggest you have a word and get this sorted so the split is fairer. You need to work as a team better, or the resentment is going to grow.

You need to tell him that he needs to take half, why are you not raising it with him?

You need to speak to him about it.

Did you ask him to take leave and split the days with you? If not than you are being unreasonable

You need a proper plan - sit down together, work out when nursery is closed then split the days equally between you. Agree when you'll do holidays together as a family, and also agree a week each of alone time. If you don't schedule it and plan it, you will become the default parent and this pattern, once set, is really hard to get out of.