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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting out of handcuffs?

258 replies

FrostedWoods · 01/01/2026 14:34

This is such a bizarre thing to write about but hear me out!

Had a weird situation with the police last night. Won't fully go into it but they mistakenly thought there was a criminal in my house and I was arrested then unarrested when they realised their mistake. I was put into handcuffs. I have hypermobility. And I think due to this I could get out of the cuffs pretty easily. Has anyone else experienced this?

I was so suprised at how easy they are to get out of. Do they have any kind of back up if they really need to keep someone secure? Just keep thinking about it! 😄

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 19:37

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 02/01/2026 18:11

Us this meant to be tenth rate at a kinky post

Get a life!

What?!

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 19:36

Weald56 · 02/01/2026 18:02

Make an official complaint - it sounds as if these police officers need significant training.

I have

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 19:36

hcee19 · 02/01/2026 17:58

Laser or pepper spray...

Sorry?

OP posts:
kierenthecommunity · 02/01/2026 19:03

I used to get a response cop and had a handful of people escape cuffs (or were known to be capable of it) Only one was male

There are ways around it. You can cuff both wrists in one bracket but then you constantly have to hold the other side so it’s not used as a weapon or to self harm. Cuffs can go pretty tight as well, even for skinny wristed people. It’s usual to allow enough room so you can run your finger between the wrist and cuff but if people are going to slip them they can be tight enough they dig into skin

I don’t recall ever arresting someone for just being in a house where a wanted person is believed to be though, or handcuffing someone there, unless there was a reason for it (such as them kicking off or getting in the way)

Ive not heard the term unarrest either. Dearrest, yes

MaddestGranny · 02/01/2026 18:37

When you've calmed down and taken stock, you might think about going to Citizens' Advice (if there is one near you) and asking them about your options.

ps. I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. Well done for being so resilient about the experience. I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

Hajjihajjo · 02/01/2026 18:12

Ahhh, so glad to see this post. I was watching a true crime episode on YouTube a couple of weeks ago. This mother with obvious mental health issues had been recorded on home cctv getting a knife from the kitchen and taking her 2 year daughter into the bathroom. We could hear the little girl screaming in pain as the mother attempted to harm her. We then saw the poor baby run out of the bathroom shouting ‘no’! Luckily the mother did not get to cause much harm to the girl. How it relates to this- police attended, cuffed the mother with her hands behind her, put her in police car. The woman simply pulled her hand out of the cuffs and sat quietly in the car. Police noticed and went to her to re-cuff her, this time making it tighter and saying so. They moved away and again on camera she simply slipped the cuff off and put her hand beside her and sat quietly, obviously dissociated. Police came back and just could
not figure out HOW she kept getting the cuffs off as they could see nothing wrong with it. It has sat with me so since I saw it, and I find myself wondering how she kept doing that! Sounds like there are just people who can get themselves out of any bind! 🥹

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 02/01/2026 18:11

Us this meant to be tenth rate at a kinky post

Get a life!

Weald56 · 02/01/2026 18:02

Make an official complaint - it sounds as if these police officers need significant training.

hcee19 · 02/01/2026 17:58

Laser or pepper spray...

Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 17:13

Staringintothevoid616 · 02/01/2026 14:33

This sounds quite sensible to me, anyone could have been hiding in the loft/the ladder could have been unstable. Doesn’t sound farcical at all. I’d be interested to see what their body cams show..

Show quote history

The ladder isn't unstable. She was just scared because it was a bit wobbly, aparently. And well, I suppose anyone could have been anywhere! Didn't stop her looking elsewhere. One minute it is so desperate they have to enter our house just as we are about to celebrate new year and the next they can hang around waiting for back up for a wobbly ladder. Don't know why they didn't swap so she could make sure I kept the hand cuffs on and he looked in the loft. Maybe he was even more scared of heights than her. Don't know how they would have coped with a real emergency/actual criminals.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 17:04

X123x321X · 02/01/2026 12:13

Dealing with the police can be unsettling at the best of times. A relative of mine was questioned about a missing child once, and found the whole experience traumatising. The case was never solved.

How sad 😔

OP posts:
Staringintothevoid616 · 02/01/2026 14:33

FrostedWoods · 01/01/2026 21:15

I wouldn't say quickly. The whole 'checking everyone was ok' went on endlessly. Honestly it was actually farcical. I'm not sure if to write this because it sounds made up but I promise is true. The police officer who was going round my house 'checking everyone was safe' had to call for back up because she was too scared to climb the loft ladder without someone holding it. The faffing was insane.

Show quote history

This sounds quite sensible to me, anyone could have been hiding in the loft/the ladder could have been unstable. Doesn’t sound farcical at all. I’d be interested to see what their body cams show..

Hollabackgurl · 02/01/2026 12:39

@fashionqueen0123
i am classed as housed as I’m now with my family, ATBXH claims to have nowhere else to go.

X123x321X · 02/01/2026 12:13

Dealing with the police can be unsettling at the best of times. A relative of mine was questioned about a missing child once, and found the whole experience traumatising. The case was never solved.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 02/01/2026 11:57

OP, I suggest you have a chat with solicitors specialising in police law, e.g. Irwin Mitchell, Hickman and Rose, Bhatt Murphy. Unfortunately this sort of conduct by the police is not that uncommon and they need to be held to account for it.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 02/01/2026 11:55

youalright · 02/01/2026 07:30

It sounds like they where just trying to figure out what was actually going on

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It can't ever be an excuse for handcuffing someone and taking them into a cell that you were "just trying to figure out what was actually going on". That would be ridiculous.

Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 11:44

FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 11:40

Yeah, true. Only just realised that so must have thought he went in the loft and I closed it up. Would have been great detective work if she'd checked the actual address first!

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Except...this doesn't add up as I answered the door as soon as they knocked so not like I had time to do this! Maybe they think the kids did it! Who knows?!

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 11:41

Alpacajigsaw · 02/01/2026 09:45

They just randomly arrested and cuffed you in your own house without asking any questions about who you were?

OK then

Try reading the thread so you are aware of what actually happened before commenting.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 11:40

fashionqueen0123 · 02/01/2026 09:41

Yeah that would be impossible! She must have thought you were hiding him then 🤣

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Yeah, true. Only just realised that so must have thought he went in the loft and I closed it up. Would have been great detective work if she'd checked the actual address first!

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 11:36

Hollabackgurl · 02/01/2026 08:34

@Icequeen01
I was hauled from my bed at 4am and arrested on allegations my STBXH fabricated to get me out of the family home, with no evidence, and held in a cell for 13hrs awaiting questioning after being put in the back of a van. I was then asked questions such as “did you give STBXH COPD?”, you cannot give some COPD, and STBXH has never been diagnosed with COPD. I was then told that they couldn’t ensure my young DC could come with me when I was bailed from the address, it was up to STBXH. LUCKILY, STBXH allowed DC to come with me.

it was agreed with the police a third party could collect my belongings the next day. STBXH changed the locks and I’ve not been allowed my things since. Police say it’s a civil matter and won’t get involved. That was six months ago, if I change the locks then I risk STBXH being issued an occupation order and losing rights to the property for a number of months.

So yes, I find the police and the laws they enforce to the utterly incompetent.

That is awful, I'm so sorry.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 11:33

Icequeen01 · 02/01/2026 07:58

You have had experience of all 148,000 police officers in this country so therefore are qualified to state they are all incompetent? I too had a rubbish experience recently with the police when I was robbed but I’ve also had some really good experiences. I just hate all this generalisation of different jobs such as teachers, police etc (and I’m neither of those). Try saying some are utterly incompetent to make it more accurate?

Edited
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We are allowed to have opinions on the police without having experience of every officer! It is about the whole system. We can use our own experience as well as others/news reports etc as well as experience not of direct officers but the way things work - I.e there is noone you can complain to. My opinion is that the police as a whole are incompetent and the whole system needs reforming.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostedWoods · 02/01/2026 11:28

youalright · 02/01/2026 07:30

It sounds like they where just trying to figure out what was actually going on

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I think they should have paid more attention to what was actually going on i.e that it was happening at another address before they knocked on my door! Also I don't think they are allowed to detain people while they try to figure out what is happening.

OP posts:
Wynter25 · 02/01/2026 10:13

I take my comment back as something happened to me where they walked in but wont go in to too much detail Blush

surreygirly · 02/01/2026 09:59

You need to be put iNto cable ties lol

Alpacajigsaw · 02/01/2026 09:45

They just randomly arrested and cuffed you in your own house without asking any questions about who you were?

OK then