Donating to charity instead of sending Christmas cards

If people donate to charity instead of sending me a card that's fine - but I won't be bothering to send them a card either!

The subtext of the charity messages is that there is some sort of obligation to send cards, so if you opt out you have to make up the financial loss in some way, or you are cheating the system.

There is no obligation. It is nothing to do with 'being bothered'. Sending cards is a personal choice, as is whether to record the names of refuseniks so you don't send one in return, or to post virtue-signalling messages about how you will still spend the obligated sum on something good.

Also, not sending cards has nothing to do with not supporting charities. The two things are separate. Cards are a commercialised 'tradition' that is far newer than Christmas, and charitable donations can be done at any time of year. Maintaining contact and nurturing friendships is about more than scribbling 'from Ellen, George and the kids xx' on a bit of card, too. I send them to older relatives who are never going to shake off the idea that the number of cards they get is directly related to how much they are loved. Otherwise I don't send them, and I don't care who gives what to which charity - that's up to them.

I find it weird too, partly because for most of my crowd, given the cheapy cards they used to send and their earning power, I'm certain they could afford to do both, but also - it's just odd to say I've decided to spend my money on charity rather than spend it on you. I'd be totally OK with someone saying "I really don't want a Christmas present, if you really want to spend money on me please donate to X charity" as that way they are only depriving themself as it were. Some of my relatives really love getting cards and having them up, it seems harsh to be basically saying "I know you really like them, but regardless I'm not going to get you one because charity is more important".

Not 12th night yet, and you could even keep them up until Candlemas!

I agree with you and personally feel it’s just lazy

many people say they don’t want to write to Jane from John in a card and see it as a waste of time

i see it as providing employment for someone who produces the cards, supports a charity as I buy charity cards and shows people, even if it is to Jane from John that they are thinking about them

I agree with OP. I love sending cards - always buy charity cards (donation to the charity and also provides employment for someone to produce the cards), deliver as many as possible by hand but those that are posted are helping the Royal Mail to keep afloat. I took get very irritated by the fake and sanctimonious "I'm donating to charity" .

Totally agree. I donate to charity AND I send Christmas cards. But I don't send nearly as many cards as I used to because I am too lazy to write them and too impatient to spend ages in a post office queue waiting to buy stamps (as some would go overseas, so I can't just buy books of stamps for the UK). But I don't start trying to justify it, I send people texts/WhatsApps to say Happy Christmas and freely admit I was too lazy! So were they in most cases, so they don't get offended :)

As a family, we have not sent Christmas Cards for a few years and have made a donation to charity instead; we've always been upfront about this and have mentioned the donation to a specific charity as a way of raising awareness of the charity, as it might be one that people haven't heard of. This year, we donated to Breast Cancer Now, not a charity I'd heard of until being diagnosed with Breast Cancer in October.

Announcing that we've donated to charity rather than send Christmas cards isn't about declaring something from the rooftops, for us it's about raising awareness of that particular charity and also as a sense of accountability that we have done what we said we would do.

I havent sent cards for 10 years. Hate them.
I buy good gin instead and also give to charity...which i do every month anyway

Well obviously. Christmas card to colleague would say ‘happy Christmas, from me’. Bah humbug 🙄

I hate Christmas cards by the way. My mum was diagnosed on 24th December.

I hate Christmas too. I do the motions for my grandchildren. But. Somehow. It’s not the same. It’s tainted.

I see my donation and post with reminder re symptoms as something good coming from her death.

"Who's writing nice messages . . . ." Not you then 🙄

I prefer to send cards. It's a tradition I'll continue with. Some of my family have stopped sending them, but I'm not aware if they donate to charity instead.

What’s Facebook got to do with it? You are however one of the many mumsnet posters that pops up on these threads to say ‘well IIIII donate to charity and don’t feel the need to announce it’ like that someone makes you superior because you’ve done it quietly. The charity benefits wether you announce it or not.

I donate to a work charity thing, but not instead of sending cards.

I don't send or like to receive them.

I have told family, friends and colleagues not to send me cards. I never put them up as I think they make the place look scruffy. They're a waste of money if sending to me. I also feel the same way about birthday cards and don't like to receive them. Although I do buy cards for peoples birthdays if I know they like to receive them, such as my family.

Started this years ago in the office - we put a large paper christmas tree outline on the wall for people to add a card or just write a message and invited donations. Ended the nonsense of exchanging 20+ cards with people we saw everyday and raised over £100 the first year. Never looked back.

This year I have sent minimal cards and donated cost of cards and postage to charity. With first class letter post now £1.70 it added up to a decent sum. Given the ease of keeping in touch with friends and family worldwide at christmas, cards seem a bit superfluous really.

Who’s writing nice messages in all their Christmas cards to colleagues? They are a folded piece of cheap card that go in the recycling shortly after being sent. That’s rubbish in my opinion so why would I send that out to people when I don’t want to?

I love getting cards and always make sure I send them to older relatives etc

I give lots (in money and time/skill) to charity. Never felt the need to post about it on FB etc

Not "literal rubbish" if you take time to send a nice message in a card !!

I do this in honour of my mum every year. She died of a cancer that is often late diagnosed and doesn’t have good outcomes.

I give £100 and I post something to the effect of “As usually I’m not sending Xmas cards - I’m donating as per usual to x cancer charity in memory of mum. Please be aware of xyz symptoms as this is a silent killer.

Miss you mum.”

if you don’t like it, unfollow me.

Yeah but not everyone wants to give and receive literal rubbish from people at work, it doesn’t matter that the cards are cheap.

Agree, don't send cards fine, give to a charity fine too but what the hell do those decisions have to do with each other?

I agree with OP. I hate it when people at work send email to all staff saying "I won't be sending individual cards as I have donated the money to charity instead". Great that you are donating to charity but you don't need to pay for postage to send cards at work (just pop them into tray) and a pack of Christmas cards can be bought quite cheaply. I also think it is nice to send cards to distant relatives who you may not see very often but it shows that you are thinking of them and you wish them a Happy Christmas.

It's still Christmas believe it or not