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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is unhygienic?

204 replies

ohohokeydokey · 01/01/2026 12:58

My DM was standing in the kitchen near the sink wearing rubber sliders and long wide leg trousers that trail on the ground.

She was getting ready to make some lunch, then suddenly puts her bare foot up on the counter next to the drying rack where the clean dishes are sitting. She used to do ballet as a kid so is flexible enough to just kinda chill there like that which is what she did.

Knowing her I knew she wouldn't wipe down the surface or anything and would just go on and put the dishes away and make lunch. So I said in the gentlest, most polite voice possible asked her if she could not put her foot on the counter.

She rolled her eyes at me and left her foot up there for another several minutes😭 Then said her back hurts. She has a bad back, so that's normal for her to say.

As I was leaving the room she said under her breath but definitely making sure it was loud enough for me to hear "I've just been in the shower you know."

She had a shower about an hour and a half ago, she's wearing trousers that she also wore yesterday to the supermarket, on a walk etc and they trail on the ground.

I replied "Sorry, but it's still unhygienic to put your foot on the counter next to clean dishes."

She huffed and sighed, then took that foot down and put her other foot up on the other side of the counter and started doing the dishes like that.

I know this sounds semi hilarious now that I'm writing it out, but please someone tell me whether or not I'm being unreasonable for asking her to remove her bare foot from the clean kitchen counter?

Am I being unreasonable to think it's unhygienic too? I know she showered this morning, but surely I'm not the only one who thinks this is gross?

OP posts:
BlueJuniper94 · 02/01/2026 18:00

TeenLifeMum · 01/01/2026 13:41

But why would you? 😆

Feels great to have a good stretch

OttersMayHaveShifted · 02/01/2026 17:50

Thesofathatwas · 01/01/2026 13:06

Unhygienic.

My mil stood combing her hair in the kitchen of our holiday home.
Her hair was waist length. Stretching it out with the comb in the middle of the kitchen.
Makes me gag thinking about it.

If someone combing their hair makes you gag, I think that's very much a you problem tbh. Gagging seems to be a strangely common thing on MN.

TrustyRusty68 · 02/01/2026 17:46

Err - I can’t think of a single time I would accept anyone putting their feet on my kitchen worktop! Not overreacting!

UnhappyHobbit · 02/01/2026 17:36

I’m with you. I overthink things but to me, why are you wearing stuff that’s touched the ground of a supermarket in your home!? Let alone the counter top!

I was once grossed out at my friends DCs that skidded on the supermarket floor then went home, didn’t get changed and got under a throw on their fabric sofa. 🤢

DottyLottieLou · 02/01/2026 17:30

She sounds very childish

Namechangefor2026 · 02/01/2026 17:24

I think she is brilliant. She is your mother and can perform a stretch like this with her legs. She has a bad back. I think if you actually liked her you would have no problem with this. That she said quietly that she had had a shower recently is very telling. I think you bully her and could be more understanding. It would be better for both of you.

emmetgirl · 02/01/2026 17:06

ohohokeydokey · 01/01/2026 13:05

Oh dear, maybe I'm being very anally retentive😂

You are

Julimia · 02/01/2026 16:47

You obviously get on well !!....not.

LieInsAreExtinct · 02/01/2026 16:47

I'm not a fussy person at all, and quite untidy. However used to clash with MIL over actual hygiene issues- she would stick her fingers in food to taste, for example, once when I was heavily pregnant and she had a cold. Her floors were filthy to the extent the that the kids' socks were black after a day in the house. I do think it's weird to put your foot on a shared kitchen counter and in some cultures it would be shockingly taboo. Yanbu.

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/01/2026 16:44

MinimumRage · 01/01/2026 16:43

It’s not polite to put your feet (in or out of shoes) somewhere others put their hands - eg counter tops, door handles, tables.

By all means do it in your own home, but if others are around or you are in someone else’s house, then no.

It was her own home albeit shared with the OP.

MinimumRage · 01/01/2026 16:43

It’s not polite to put your feet (in or out of shoes) somewhere others put their hands - eg counter tops, door handles, tables.

By all means do it in your own home, but if others are around or you are in someone else’s house, then no.

Unpaidworkmakestheeconomytick · 01/01/2026 16:41

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/01/2026 16:35

I can do it and I'm 70 thanks to pilates and ballet.

Me too, late sixties. I love a good stretch using the counter as a barre.
I imagine the average hand has far more bacteria on it than a foot.

Eyeshadow · 01/01/2026 16:39

I always sit on the counter.
I sometimes stand on them and I’ve even had sex on the counter.

I don’t put food directly on the counter though and I’d use a clean chipping board etc and I wipe the surfaces down before and after I prep food.

Its obviously not ideal but I think you’re making a bigger deal out of it then it needs to be - I am assuming her feet weren’t touching any of the clean dishes.

Sharpzebra · 01/01/2026 16:36

Yes that's unhygienic I wouldn't be happy about it I would get some antibacterial wipes or spray and clean it down and ask her not to do it again if it's in your house that is

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/01/2026 16:35

FerriswheelsKissesandLilacs · 01/01/2026 15:23

I have no opinion on the foot but I'm impressed by how flexible she is, especially as she's clearly old enough to have an adult child.

I can do it and I'm 70 thanks to pilates and ballet.

arcticpandas · 01/01/2026 16:25

BauhausOfEliott · 01/01/2026 13:08

I think that, if merely thinking about someone brushing their hair makes you almost gag, the problem lies with you.

In the kitchen! I wouldn't brush my hair in the kitchen- on the contrary- I attach it as to not shredding hair on food

SurferRona · 01/01/2026 16:24

Is your mother Angela Rippon? She sounds extremely lithe. I’d be meh about the foot.

ManyPigeons · 01/01/2026 16:15

noBloodyEl2u2 · 01/01/2026 16:11

YANBU . Kitchen worktops are for food preparation. it drives me bananas when people put unsanitary objects, eg. handbags or shopping bags that have been on the floor of tubes/buses, on the worktop that I'm just about to cook/eat off.

other rank habits :

  1. I've had two colleagues in two separate workplaces who would clip their toenails at their desk in a shared office. The hill I will die on is that this should be a sacking (or capital) offence.

  2. DP flosses teeth in bed. the inevitable consequence is that little bits of food covered in saliva and bacteria will be sprayed on the bed linen. Just because they're too small to see doesn't mean they're not there. The only place tooth flossing (and for the most part, brushing) should be done is in a bathroom with a tiled floor. bedroom / living room / any room with carpet = Gross.

Why are you eating off a counter? Use a chopping board and then a plate like other people do

ManyPigeons · 01/01/2026 16:15

The bare foot I wouldn’t care about tbh. Dirty Shoes or trousers I would. People climb on counters all the time to reach high cupboards.

noBloodyEl2u2 · 01/01/2026 16:11

YANBU . Kitchen worktops are for food preparation. it drives me bananas when people put unsanitary objects, eg. handbags or shopping bags that have been on the floor of tubes/buses, on the worktop that I'm just about to cook/eat off.

other rank habits :

  1. I've had two colleagues in two separate workplaces who would clip their toenails at their desk in a shared office. The hill I will die on is that this should be a sacking (or capital) offence.

  2. DP flosses teeth in bed. the inevitable consequence is that little bits of food covered in saliva and bacteria will be sprayed on the bed linen. Just because they're too small to see doesn't mean they're not there. The only place tooth flossing (and for the most part, brushing) should be done is in a bathroom with a tiled floor. bedroom / living room / any room with carpet = Gross.

IridiumSky · 01/01/2026 16:06

Never mind the kitchen gymnastics, your mum’s dress sense sounds highly questionable.

Unless of course she’s your mom, when it makes sense.

😀

Grammarnut · 01/01/2026 16:00

I think it's amazing. Your clever mum. More than just a bit of ballet, I think? If it's your counter she shouldn't have done it, if it's her's then it's up to her. Wipe it surreptiously if you are that bothered. Assume sliders and floor are both clean, of course!

Jane143 · 01/01/2026 15:58

I don’t think it’s too unhygienic, but would be repulsed by it and want to wipe down after. Is she trying to make a point of proving she’s still flexible?

Okthenguys · 01/01/2026 15:56

It would bother me. I wouldn’t be thrilled to find hair in my food in a restaurant, or see the chef in a restaurant with their feet up on the counters. Would feel similar about any kitchen I was eating from - including my own. As an aside: that’s amazing your MIL is so flexible!

Boomer55 · 01/01/2026 15:54

ohohokeydokey · 01/01/2026 13:05

Oh dear, maybe I'm being very anally retentive😂

Well, feet are feet. Not many germs can be transmitted if she has healthy feet, and assuming you don’t eat from the sink/draining board.