Husband thinks it’s ok to let children change baby’s nappy

A sibling I was fine with.
I wouldn't have got friends children involved though. Except for passing stuff maybe.

@Rileysp

😂 That’s it Riley, if you can’t respond to an argument with a valid and challenging response, insult me. That will shut me up.

Unfortunately for you, I’m decades past the time when a man resorting to insults when someone challenges his world view would cause any upset. You carry on proving my point as much as you like.

When it comes to the safety and wellbeing of children, I’m just as vocal in real life. As all of us should be.

Hi op your dh is odd who the fuck let’s others peoples kids wipe a baby are you sure it’s not him enjoying it just tell him it’s a big fat no and he better not let it happen again.

Is he expecting a 4 year old to change shitty nappies? Is he just being g lazy and not wanting to do it himself? He must be mad. I'd point blank refuses to let a 4 year old change a babies nappy. They can bring nappy over or fetch wipes.

"Pass the wipes please" "put the nappy in the bin" "can you please get the nappy cream?" = children helping in an acceptable way.

A grown man instructing an unrelated four year old child to put cream on a baby's nappy area and insisting they enjoy it when questioned. No.

Its absolutely not why we have generations of men unable to change a nappy.

You gave poor advice and your response to being called out on it is to make a personal attack. You're not covering yourself in glory either.

I completely agree, OP. I know this wasn't a sibling, but my answer would be the same if it was. Changing a baby's nappy is an adult job.

Do you really think it’s ok for a man to tell a 4 year old to put cream on an unrelated baby’s genitals?

Yep you are right and your husband is being absolutely weird.

This isn't a sibling though, but a friend's child. It isn't OK.

The NSPCC helpline is open today. Please call and chat through this. Tbh I get a lot of bad vibes reading tft.
I didn’t like anyone but dh or me changing our babies nappies. A 4yo doesn’t need to help with barrier cream or touching private parts. In all honesty he’s either oblivious to his actions and needs educating. Or its another red flag that he is getting a fix from.

I don't really see the problem tbh. My eldest helped with his youngest siblings. Teaching children about how to provide intimate care while maintaining the baby's dignity is fine. A baby really doesn't care who changes them, as long as they are changed and no harm comes to them. An unrelated child is a bit iffy and I'd probably do the cream myself but tbf I never used cream. My eldest used to like doing the powder.

This is how we end up with generations of men who have no idea how to change a nappy. I'm a big believer in letting children attempt adult jobs, obviously with close supervision. They like feeling grown up and helpful.

My oldest dd has many siblings. Never has she applied nappy cream.

Is the four year old's parents aware of this? From their perspective they may also be very uncomfortable with it. I would be.

No way would I have wanted my 4 year old doing this OP, I would be really upset and pissed off if she'd been instructed by a grown man to rub cream on another child's genital area. Nor would I be happy for it to be done to my baby. I don't understand why your DH thinks it is OK.

How did she help though? Was she wiping and smearing cream on their genitals?

This is fucking grim. I'd be massively concerned that your husband is a paedophile. If he's not a paedophile at best he sees all females as caregivers? Would he encourage a 4 year old boy to do the same.

Those saying they'd allow a sibling to do this seriously need educating on the rates of sibling abuse too. Only adult caregivers should be doing this. I'd suggest a chat with NSPCC around your thoughts on this and your husband's burning red flags.

As I said prior it makes him sounds like a pervert.

My DD helped changed her younger brothers nappies and helped take them to the toilet. I had 4 boys under the age of 5, the youngest of whom were twins and I was glad of the help tbh! I didn’t force her to do it, just to be clear! She was 10 when the twins were born so I took that as her having reached the age of discretion.

Former educator and social services worker here and I agree. This is basic common sense. I had two older brothers and thankfully nothing bad happened at their hands or anyone else’s but sibling/peer abuse isn’t uncommon. We don’t want to be encouraging children related or otherwise to be touching other people’s genitals.

Yeah it’s weird for a random child to put cream on your baby. I would not be ok with this.

I think he went too far

YANBU. Its not 'helping', it's not a skill any four year old needs, and the baby doesn't need all kind of random unrelated people changing their nappy. You keep that to a minimum.