I don’t drink but that’s neither here nor there. I respect round culture and when I see my pals I do one round of drinks usually as a gesture of good will, even though my soft drink is either free (soda water) or comes in at under £4.
I recently started seeing an old friend again. She brings along two friends when we see each other. We got a bit of a gang going. One of them always offers to buy everyone a drink and I always say thanks no and buy myself a soft drink.
The other one; I offered to buy a round of drinks the last time we hung out. My friend and woman 1 both said no thanks. The Second Lady said yes. He drink cost £7. Spent another hour in the pub, she didn’t offer to buy a round back, no problem, didn’t think anymore about it.
Tonight I offered to buy a round. My friend and woman 1 both had soft drinks. Woman 2 asks for a drink costing £5.50. My friend had to leave early and woman 1,2 and I sit around chatting. We all finish our drinks. Woman 1 deep in storytelling mode. I say ‘I fancy an another drink’ and wait for woman 2 to offer. Nothing. Woman 1 says ‘you should get one, I’ll get you one’, and simultaneously carrying on her story. I say it again then say to woman 2 ‘what about you, are you having another drink?’ Woman 2 says ‘no I’m ok I don’t need another one’.
I don’t mind writing off these two drinks but how do I deal with a round situation again? I want to offer people who buy drinks back but not this woman as I can see from her response she knew exactly what I was asking and was not buying me a drink back. I do not want to pay for this woman’s alcohol going forward. How do I do this without causing a scene? The other two are normal, generous offer & reciprocate drinks.