Background. I have been living with this for three years. Husband has always liked a “good time” but I could overlook the odd night out/bender. Sadly when covid hit he developed a like for taking coke in the house (found a bag one evening outside daughters bedroom). Since this time he has lost his mum (reacted badly to this, mainly due to guilt because he was shit and provided no help) and also set up/closed a business. A lot of pressure but let’s face it, life can be shit. For about 18 months I suspected he was using in the house and 18 months ago confronted with evidence. Since this time he has continually lied to me about his use of the drug. I don’t think he’s ever stopped. For the last year he’s worked in a self employed role and not given me a penny towards the bills and any spare money gone on cocaine. I paid for all of Christmas and even had to “lend” him the money for my Christmas present. For me things have come to ahead with his Christmas. He’s done nothing with us at all (we have a 9 year old) and he has taken coke basically ruined Christmas and I feel like I hate him. He makes me feel sick. Her also a slob who makes no effort with himself and does next to nothing around the house despite me working full time and doing lionshare with our child. He has the opportunity to start a new career in 2026 and it’s the only thing making me hang on in case this is what he needs to finally sort himself out. I am so unhappy I have suicidal thoughts and wonder how I’ll get him to leave. His dad won’t have him (owes him 15k and once “borrowed” hid bank card and spent 700 on it) I am lucky I have a good job so can afford to live on my own. I borrowed money off my dad to pay debts he wracked up. More wracked up since. Can someone please either give me some advice or what they have done in any sort of situation like this. I feel lonely and trapped. His behaviour over Xmas has opened my eyes and I don’t want another year like this. If I ever confront him about his problem he gets very angry tells me everything is my fault, I am a horrible person, bad parent you name it it’s said to me. I just want to be free of him. Am I unsupportive? I’ve offered help a few times but he won’t accept he needs it. It’s affecting our child now as he speaks to me badly in front of her. Haven’t dared to tell ny parents this is my second marriage and feel I’ve let them down. Only thing that keeps me going is my little girl