To leave husband with a cocaine addiction

Report to SS, and get him removed from your child’s home. Having drugs at home is dangerous.
Then go from there.

Please leave this man. Your best intentions are enabling his behaviour. He won’t change.

Get yourself and children out of this, you deserve much better. Good luck.

Start divorce proceedings and go from there. Anyone this monumentally selfish won’t want their DC very often anyway.

And yes, I did go through similar and have no regrets.

Life as a lone parent is way more peaceful.

Hi op

2025 was the year I left the dcs dad. Hes an alcoholic, regular weed smoker but I do suspect other substances too.

The quality of my life and that of my DC improved drastically when we left him
We have just had a lovely calm christmas and new year. No worrying about what he may say or do. Amazing

Do it. Get rid

If you really don't want him to have access then you need to involve all the safeguarding procedures with your child, you can start with talking to School asking them for help. They will probably involve social services and you could have an early help worker and that early help worker will probably want to speak to your husband and that might be a tipping point for him to leave?

In any way he can then be reported to the police for any behaviour afterwards that's aggressive towards you and puts your child in a position of witnessing domestic violence.

It's very scary and obviously a choice but that would be what I would do. Depends on your area what the threshold is if you live in a really poor deprived area you might not meet the threshold for intervention but it is worth talking to school.

It's all very scary but if you don't report his behaviour you will have to do a straight divorce and your daughter will be having 50/50 with her father potentially. I'm sure he can't provide that care but it's standard now.

See a lawyer, record evidence and file a restraining order to not only get him out of your house but to prevent him from having unsupervised contact with your children.

Call/visit all external services to lay down what's happening and why you are so scared for you and DC when telling XH it's over and to leave - children's services, the police, DC's school, GP surgery, solicitor, trusted family and friends, etc - you do NOT want to make headlines in paper. All those murder suicides? DV and drugs and finances involved. Your situation fits this description.

Do it ASAP

@user1471267414 drugs testing kids are really cheap. Buy one that tests for cocaine then next time he denies it, get the test out and make him take it. If he refuses then you know why...

You definitely need to end this.

I would also run both of your details through Experian and the others. Check what financial links you have. Make sure there are no other loans you do not know about.

As he's an addict, money may be your best bargaining tool, sad as it is. Cut off his cash supplies. It may be better to play the longer game and get him into the new job but you can take steps to separate at the same time.

Can he move to his dad's for a few weeks 'to sort himself out'. In this time get the house on the market (assuming you can't buy him out). Have all your paperwork, legal advice etc sorted.

It won't be easy but if you are making secret plans to get out then it may help you to feel there is a way out. Unfortunately it's difficult to do it in an instant but you can do it. And it will be less damaging for your child than living like you are now. Good luck.

Even if his Dad won't (understandably) let him move in, do you think he may be willing to help you try to get him out of the house? Just thinking, if he already has some what's going on with the drug taking, he may be willing to get involved to keep his grand daughter safe.

You're 100% doing the right thing leaving him, it won't be easy, but will be so worth it in the end, when you have your own place and can live in peace with your DD.

You cannot help a person who doesn’t want to be helped or doesn’t see they have a problem.

addicts have to WANT to get clean for themselves not for any other reason. They will promise the world. Maybe even “try”. Give you glimmers of hope but honestly it sounds like lip service.

all you can do now is protect yourself and your children and leave.

Oh and the new career will amount to fuck all other than him pissing it up the wall due to being coked off his nut

It’s a crime to be in possession of it and how does someone take it without being in possession of it?!

One bit of additional advice:

• Do a credit search with Experian and / or credit karma to make sure he hasn't opened any secret debt in your name (fraud).

The only thing you’ve been unreasonable on is putting up with this shit for over 5 years after him bringing that muck into your house

Bin him off ASAP

I wish you well in starting a new life without him.

I'd be tempted once you are safe and he is not under your roof to ensure his employer knows.

If you phone the police and tell them there is cocaine in the house with a child, it is a safeguarding matter. This will be taken seriously.

Well done for getting that out of your head. First step to taking back some control.x

Unfortunately cokeheads are liars and they don't easily stop taking it. I divorced mine. That was actually the change he needed to stop, which he did after a bit. I think ideally he would leave. Not so easy. Consider how you can protect his relationships with any children like pp said.

Best advice on here, 👏🏻

It sounds trite but write a list. Start (today) with checking your credit history so you can be absolutely sure he has not taken out loans/credit cards in your name.(I’m not entirely sure but I think there is some way of stopping anything like that happening? Or at least being notified if someone tries?)

Then look at all the (sadly) many, many similar posts on this site with all the amazing practical advice given. Far better than my attempt above.

Of course you can’t just leave, I honestly don’t know why people say that. (Excepting potential physical harm, of course.)

I think you might have a tricky few months ahead of you, but you sound like you’re ready for it and, ultimately, it will probably be easier than the mental torture you’re going through now.

I just want to be free of him.

What's stopping you? He sounds absolutely awful and you cannot bring up a child up in this shit show.

It's 2026 now OP. Find your inner strength - with the help of family, friends, strangers you meet ad hoc and chat with, - YOU CAN DO THIS!

You need to get this toxicity out of your life for both your sakes, you and her.

Some therapy for you to find out why you put up with it.

If you don't you will find your child will follow the same toxic family dynamic in their life.

Sending strength.

I hope for your child's sake social services is called, why is anyone allowing this around a child, get legal advice

Plan plan plan ducks in a row. He must regularly go out of the house when he does be ready with a locksmith