Really minor but irritating to me husband not cooking

This is a battle of wills. You need to stand your ground. Try asking him a few questions -

How much per month is he spending on covering his one-evening-a-week dinners?

If he can't be bothered to cook dinner, then why should you?

Why is it okay for him to shirk the whole dinner drudge shebang and what would happen if you did the same?

Does he realise what's in that shit he's feeding to the kids?

"He just says that the kids have fun and who can be bothered to cook?"

What would he do six days a week if you couldn't be bothered to cook?
He's a lazy sod, unprepared to pull his weight and obviously thinks you're a mug for cooking.

My husband is like this. If I don't want to cook (often,my family are a pain in the arse to cater for) he gets a takeaway

Adding green veg to beans on toast. Criminal.

How is driving to a restaurant and sitting there with a child and wasting what must be at least an hour plus £85 less effort than just cooking a normal dinner like a regular adult? Tell him you’re planning to replace your cooking with takeaways and restaurants too - would he think that was ok?

I think positioning himself as fun Dad and leaving you with the drudge (especially if this is because you’re being a taxi for your other child) is grossly unfair and very much a real problem. Plus it means you can never get a night “off” from cooking because he’s claimed it.

There’s something deeply unattractive about a man who only does the household chores that attract acclaim and attention from others (big bbqs) but not their share of the unnoticed, boring and thankless stuff like making jacket potatoes and beans on a busy Tuesday.

Just get take out on your cooking days and say 'who can be bothered to cook'
expensive but worth making the point

You need to agree with him how you are splitting it, that doesn't involve weekly takeaway/restaurant which will get expensive and grating very fast.

In my house DH does none of the cooking, which is fine with me as he does breakfasts, lunches and all the washing up. I hate washing up more than cooking.

On the day I can't cook we have oven pizza which DH 'cooks' but it's definitely not exciting.

I agree. In my house yes I do all the cooking but DH does all of the washing up. That's perfect for me because though I hate cooking, I hate washing up even more😂

So only he gets a break from cooking, despite the fact that he never does it?

Isn’t he embarrassed to require a round of applause for beans on toast? Don’t get me wrong, I think that’s an ok meal (though I’d add a green veg, is he doing that?) but he should acknowledge it’s the bare basics.

Its just so shit. Reminds me of my incredibly adept xh, who could do anything (he really could) but when required to plait hair, he just couldn’t, because he didn’t want to and he didn’t think it was his job.

Being able to plan and execute an appropriate, nutritious, budgeted family meal that your children will eat is something every adult should be able to do. Maybe tell him that.

Yes he should absolutely cook, and if he doesn't know how, learn like you had to.

I don't know how long you've been married, but don't fall into the trap of doing all the cooking. It gets harder to get partner to change as time goes on. And then you're nagging cos hey, you've been happy to do it for the past 30 years!

It's boring and a chore. So my advice to anyone starting off in a relationship is to start as you mean to go on. Don't do it all.

Nope - he doesn’t take his responsibilty seriously. He thinks cooking is a woman’s job and you enable this by doing ‘almost all’ if the cooking and tiptoeing around him trying to be the cool wife and minimising it. Stop doing that and get a bit more bolshy about it. Tell him no more takeouts/restaurants unless it’s treat.

Are we married to the same man? Mine does fish and chips or chain restaurant. If I ask him to cook then he will warm up food I cooked. At a push he might do beans on toast but we will all hear about it for three months and he will expect a small trophy.

I've given up and just batch cook healthy meals so the DC get something decent.

It's just a weekly nail in the marriage coffin.

Why don't you think this is a real problem?

Another adult refusing to share the mundane everyday cooking would be an absolute dealbreaker for me.

I'm no-one's skivvy and you shouldn't be either.