Really minor but irritating to me husband not cooking

Hello Fresh is no better than a takeaway.

He doesn’t need to be great at cooking to make a simple dinner. OP doesn’t say he has a disability, he seems to have plenty of money and presumably they have a functional kitchen if OP can cook in it. Given that I’d say it’s pretty feeble he can’t cook a dinner one night a week, “good cook” or otherwise. It’s not like he’s got to meal plan the week and come up with a vast repertoire of master chef level meals.

Maybe he should batch cook and freeze his amazing curry and then he can just heat it up on Thursdays….

Get him a subscription to Hello Fresh and let him and the kids have a fun time cooking together!!

What everyone needs to remember is that parents are modelling relationships to their children. This is how this man’s sons will behave and what his daughters will expect.

Is this coming out of his personal money or the joint account?

I agree that sheer junk like McDonald's once a week isn't great, but a pub meal or Nandos isn't so bad. That won't go down well on here where people are obsessed with clean eating, but I don't see an issue myself. I also don't think that the husband not cooking is bad, as long as he doesn't expect the OP to do all the housework. I don't see an issue with couples having dedicated jobs.

She said that they’re reasonably comfortable, but it’s a waste of money and she doesn’t want to eat junk food every week. It’s not just about being able to afford it.

A very similar situation here.
DH is supposed to do tea once a week for the dc. This is pretty much always pizza/chicken nuggets and chips. Occasionally pesto pastas I have had to nag to get him to include a vegetable. He still sometimes doesn’t. And often his work means that he doesn’t do this anyway.
If there is any other day/situation that requires him to feed the kids it is invariably a meal out, either at the pub or McDonald’s/kfc.

He CAN cook - he makes an excellent roast. But he has never bothered to even try really at anything else, and most definitely sees feeding the kids as my job. (I do ‘only’ work p/t)

Its infuriating.

Yep it’s a thing with many men - they only like event or high praise cooking. So the bbq, Xmas turkey or elaborate feast that people will praise is worth their time but Monday healthy tea for kids isn’t

Laundry!! And before anyone says that that is less than trouble than cooking, not to me it isn't.
He also does more hoovering than I do, plus all the DIY type minor jobs, empties the bins etc. We both think we're getting a good deal. To be fair, we are childfree and I do get where the OP is coming from to an extent, but I don't think that it is quite the big deal that some posters are making out. There's nothing wrong with a weekly treat IMO.

I don't know the OP's financial situation, but it is possible that they can easily afford a restaurant or takeaway once a week. I actually hope for the sake of the economy that someone can, it gets very depressing hearing about how people only eat out twice a year because of the cost of living crisis. It's actually nice to hear about people who are still spending money!

What does he do that you’re bad at and don’t want to do?

Unpopular opinion but YABU. If the kids enjoy it, why not? I do all the cooking in my house as well, our load isn't unequal at all, I just am much better at cooking than my husband. He does the tasks I hate and am bad at as well. This isn't a hill to die on IMO.

Could you double up on one of the other days so he only has to reheat and add rice/pasta or suggest quick and easy meals everyone likes? Or get in pizzas to stick in the oven. I guess if he has to go shopping too, he might think he may as well just get it ready done. He perhaps doesn’t even realise how much it is going to cost across the year.

I agree with this post whole heartedly.

Apart from the green veg with beans on toast. That’s a firm boundary you should never cross right there! An abomination! 😁

OP I seriously would find it hard to like a person who pulled this every week.

It has taken me 20 years of marriage and an injury to break this cycle. Every time I was out, it would be takeaway or something I had previously cooked and frozen planning to have another night. A few weeks on crutches and husband had no options like that anymore. And finally he gets my point that only thinking for today's meals is not enough.

I agree with the person upthread who said ask questions. And get him cooking on more of the nights you are not out. Use New Year as an excuse to look at the work load. Point out that £300+ month for one meal a week is over £3600 a year that could go on a holiday or whatever. Or that it is as much as you spend for all the other meals each week and is not sustainable.

I wouldn't let it get to you

I wouldn't let it get to you

PS: keep fancying beans on toast now 🤣

In my humble opinion (and 35 years married 😁) this needs nipping in the bud fast.
Because resentment will grow and it will become a massive thing....

Anyone should be able to make beans o toast

is it simply because he’s lazy or just not good at cooking?

They're one and the same.

Very few people are instantly good at anything when they first start.

It takes practise but he's clearly too lazy to stick at it because he'd rather the OP did this mundane, humdrum everyday chore while he gets away without bothering.

some people are just not great at cooking. My DH does the majority of cooking in our house, I sometimes make the odd one pot meal but I don’t have the patience for anything more complex than a potato ricer.

is it simply because he’s lazy or just not good at cooking?

If your family can afford one meal out / takeaway a week, then that leave 6 days of cooking needed that can be cleanly split between the two of you :)

My ex used to do that. If ever I went out, he'd take the DCs out for a pizza rather than cook. I found it very irritating too.