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AIBU?

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Original poster

If you have an avoidant attachment style…

30 replies

user2466 · 31/12/2025 19:08

If you have an avoidant attachment style can you recall or pin point certain events that may have led to that attachment style and how it’s impacted you in adult relationships?

I’m the opposite of an avoidant. I’m anxious and I hate it. I hate the overthinking, over extending myself, feeling pain when people do me wrong whilst they seem unphased by it. It almost seems as though avoidants can flip a switch and not feel emotions as deeply. Is this really the case?

Posting on AIBU for traffic.

OP posts:
Mrspatmoresapprentice · 31/12/2025 23:38

Marie1988 · 31/12/2025 23:31

Most avoidant people are very selfish individuals they know what they are doing they don't care because they are not able to show empathy, remorse, emotion, they are unemotional vampires they suck you dry then move onto the next victim, talking from experience too, never got enough attention as a child most likely or didnt get an extra slice of pizza

Step away from the wine. An “extra slice of pizza”? No, avoidant attachment doesn’t come from that.

Marie1988 · 31/12/2025 23:31

Most avoidant people are very selfish individuals they know what they are doing they don't care because they are not able to show empathy, remorse, emotion, they are unemotional vampires they suck you dry then move onto the next victim, talking from experience too, never got enough attention as a child most likely or didnt get an extra slice of pizza

Arran2024 · 31/12/2025 23:26

It's supposed to come from your early experiences with your main care givers, usually your parents.

So you wouldn't remember as such, though of course your parents probably acted quite consistently over the years, so you will have some knowledge of what caused what.

I have some anxious attachment because of my mum but also some avoidant because of my dad, who worked away a lot (at sea, for months on end). The two kind of interract with each other. Either can be triggered.

LoveSandbanks · 31/12/2025 23:18

Anxious avoidant here. Shit gets real and I just want to run away.

No one incident but long term parental neglect and abuse. I just want a peaceful life and if that means running away and being on
my own so be it.

Been married 25 years btw, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still want to run.

Original poster
user2466 · 31/12/2025 22:56

Bump

OP posts: