Our lives being run on partners mother's life!

This woman and her son are the reason you lost your baby.

Kick them both out.

Seriously. Get child support off him. He can live with his smelly mother.

OP I think you’ve been looking at the wrong information online. You don’t need a court order to remove someone from your house when they have no claim or ownership of the house. Just pack up a bin bag of his stuff, stick it outside, and change the locks. He has no rights here.

By the way. He has no rights. You ask him to leave . If he doesn’t the you change the locks while he is out and if he kicks off then call the police and they will remove him.

The police will help you get him out if you say it is your home, you want him to leave and he is refusing. They can be there while his stuff is removed. I would make a plan which includes police involvement and where you immediately change the locks.

I would end it because of his low moral character. If he will behave like this towards his mother he will do the same to you if you ever have a severe illness. This is who he is, an entitled selfish human who only cares about himself.

The sooner you get rid, the sooner you can start rebuilding and have a happy life.

The undue haste which so many MN posters advocate , splitting up a relationship especially with young children involved - is one of the MOST annoying things on MN
However . This is one of the few times I would say that for the sake of the kids and your happiness, he has to go.

You will find it a lot easier without this dead weight around your neck. Your home will be happier as well !

Your partner has his eye on his main chance . He thought fhat getting his name out on your dead’s was a sure fire way - only you were too smart to allow it , so now he is eagerly awaiting his mothers death and denying her the appropriate care because he wants his money . Or money he thinks is his.
someone needs to make a referral to adult safeguarding at her local council and fast x

This guy is a ponce. He has no rights, you are not married, he has somewhere to go, and he is not on the house deeds.
Call the Police, get him out, he does not get to refuse.

He threatens to call the police when you tell him to leave, so you relent.

Why? Let him call the police, it's not his house, you attempt to end the relationship, then don't follow through because of his threat of the police. It's YOUR home, you are NOT married, he has no legal right to stay when you are asking him to leave. Stop letting him scare you and call the police yourself to get him removed. You do NOT need a court order to get him out, no idea where you are reading that, but you are NOT married, and he does NOT own the house, he has no legal rights.

Now start the new year right and get him out tomorrow. No more relenting, follow through.

I think you need to refrain from thinking your Mother In law is awful. She has dementia. She cannot control the things she does.
The issue is with your partner. You need to be very clear that you cannot and will not care for her. You need to have clear boundaries. Yes take your girls out and say that was your plan. X

So it's less to do with your grievance towards his mother, and more to do with you wanting to get rid of your partner. I hope you're not being egged on by people on here who are so quick to tell you to get rid of him. How was your relationship before the strain of looking after his mum? Dementia is a cruel disease and needs professional help, he sounds like he can't accept that his mum needs more help now than home carers, a more permanent arrangement, ie care home would be more appropriate, although finances are an issue, and selling her house to pay for the care home is annoying but necessary. You have children with this man, were you happy together before having to deal with his mum and her dementia? Give your situation plenty of thought, you don't know how long his mum has left, it's probably very difficult for him to see his mum deteriorating with the dementia, it's very tough. Relationships have ups and downs, it would be good if you could support one another through the bad times, we are all strangers to you, don't throw everything away on the basis that some people on here want you to dump him and hang him out to dry, so to speak. Good luck in deciding what to do, but don't be hasty x

"he won't leave and last time I packed his stuff he threatened to call police and went proper mental"

Go to your local police station. Tell them this and ask them what to do. Forget about what your neighbours think.

RUN for your life! And those of your kids.

Ask him what crime he'd be reporting to the police if he rang them? And what does he think they will do, order you to let him live there indefinitely?

You may need to give him written notice. Usually 14 or 28 days.

Crikey, the OP started out saying how nasty and abusive her partner's mum was, and after a few more posts she now wants no more to do with her partner and is being advised to boot him out and change the locks

Get the locks changed the minute he leaves the house.
Gather his shit together and leave it outside.
Call 101 and ask for a marker to be put on your house as you are removing an abusive ex who has no rights whatsoever to your house.

He is scum.

What's the matter with you?

Your partner is a selfish, selfish twat. You most likely lost a pregnancy doing hard physical and mental graft for your MIL, because he didn't do it.

He leaves his mother to suffer so he doesn't lose her house to pay for care.

Take some responsibility for yourself and kick him out of your house, love.

I'm not sure what research you've been doing but if you're not married and he has no claim on the house at all then you can either call the police to get him removed from the house (if he kicks off) or just wait until he is out and get the locks changed.

You would only have to go to the court to get him removed/evicted if he was your tenant. He's not your tenant he's your partner who has no claim whatsoever to your house so get rid.

When he’s out, call an emergency locksmith to change the locks. The police are unlikely to remove him unless he turns up, kicks off and tries to force entry of the locks are changed. As it’s your property, they will remove if he’s outside (Section 5) and causes a major fuss trying to gain entry.

I'm afraid the first bit here isn't accurate. If you have money or assets you have to pay, but if you own a house, the council will generally enter into a deferred payment agreement where they pay until the house is sold and you then pay them back from the proceeds. However, that's all his job to deal with. Tell him to go and get legal back up. A solicitor will help with the options and give you confidence in what you're doing. Or Citizens Advice Bureau if money is tight. Take your girls out tomorrow and tell him he's not coming as he should spend time with his mum.

He will need to face her house will need to go to pay for care. Take the girls out tomorrow, do what you want, he can have lunch with MIL at home, don’t worry about it enjoy your New Year’s Day doing what y want xx

Ring your local social services adult helpdesk and address your concerns re your partners mum. She can't help having dementia or having had a stroke, and she deserves to end her days in comfort and dignity. What he's doing is cruel.

Then wait for your partner to go back to work and get your locks changed while he's there. And tell him that you've just prized his barnacle arse off you and his joyride is over.

Seconded, in every detail.

OP, that man has his eye on material gain, and on your future service in relation to his mother’s deteriorating condition, and no doubt for his own care as the years catch up with him..
You seem to get no improvement or benefit to your life from his being in it, do you? All you get is trouble and strife, and at a financial cost too.

In your place, I’d definitely kick him out, and call it quits now, and this time, laugh in his face if he threatens to set the Law on you. (He is seriously deluded on that score)

His mother, God help her, needs better care, and a home with decent nursing sounds unavoidable.
Her present housing sounds really inadequate, so either she moves in with you (obviously this isn’t going to happen!) or he faces the responsibilities he has taken on as her son, and relinquishes his grasp on her house/savings.
(Maybe he could find and pay for a live-in nurse companion but I’d imagine the lady would jib at this and behave badly.
But this is not your worry, and you can let it bounce off you should he try to make it so, by playing the ‘girls’ grandmother’ card maybe. Resist!)

He sounds like very bad news for your future, and it’s not as though chucking him out of your house would make him homeless.
Have you anyone on the burly, or the sternly authoritative side who’d happen to be visiting you for tea, on some day you might decide to give him his cards?

She has dementia so hasn’t got any control over her behaviour. If you’re concerned her care isn’t adequate then you should report it to social services. They can decide then how to proceed