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Original poster

Not invited to events with siblings and parent

92 replies

thefrugaldime · 31/12/2025 14:14

I'll keep this brief but I'd value feedback- if you were continuously not invited to events that your mum and siblings had arranged how would you feel? Am I unreasonable to feel hurt?

OP posts:
Harvestmoons · 31/12/2025 15:02

This sounds very mean of your family OP. I can't imagine planning a family social event and leaving one sibling out. How did you find out about it ? And can you think of any reason at all why they have not invited you as we have very little to go on here.

skippy67 · 31/12/2025 15:01

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Yup.

Itsseweasy · 31/12/2025 15:01

This is my reality OP but I have a covert narcissist mother and toxic family all under her spell!
You need to call them out on it - their reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
If they actively listen to how you feel and perhaps do some introspection and apologise I’d say they’re potentially just being thoughtless.
If like mine, however, they turn it around and call you “too sensitive”, “you’re being silly” or my favourite “not everything is about you” then you might want to start looking at the bigger picture of their treatment of you over the years.
My sympathy OP, it’s a hurtful and confusing place to be.

Sunfloweranddaisy · 31/12/2025 15:00

We don’t ask a sibling and their family to events as we don’t get on with them or their partner. We have tried but after years of nasty behaviour from them we decided to cut ties for our own sanity and are now very very low contact. They are free to see our parents when they want and organise things with them. Funnily enough they don’t bother.

What have they said when you have asked them why you are left out? There must be a reason.

Poodleeatingnoodle · 31/12/2025 14:59

I think a few may be missing the plural of siblings in your post. This isn't OPs mum and a sibling meeting up. It's OPs mum and all other siblings. I am one of three and if my parents and both my siblings met up without me with no obvious reason why id be annoyed. But I tend to live by 'let them' if they want to meet with out me I'd let them. I'd stop making as much effort on my side and get on with my life 🤷 you can't control how others behave just how you deal with it.

Happyher · 31/12/2025 14:57

Do you spend time with your parents when your sibling aren’t there?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 31/12/2025 14:55

thefrugaldime · 31/12/2025 14:27

@FerrisWheelsandLilacs as I have said it wouldn't bother me if a sibling and a parent spent time together- I would find that odd to be hurt over. It's because both siblings and not me are included

The only way to solve this is to ask them why. And if you don't get a straight answer, keep asking.

ALSO.
Do you want to be included?

  • Are you in fact interested in the events they attend together?
  • If not, could you suggest some events you would all like and just go to those?
  • Or do you just want to get together with them individually.
Cienna · 31/12/2025 14:49

There has very clearly obviously been some issue, without a doubt

Jinglejells · 31/12/2025 14:47

By your annoying responses it might be a reasons as to why they are excluding you. Are you difficult to communicate and be around?

Maybeitllneverhappen · 31/12/2025 14:46

Is this a relatively new development or have you always been excluded?

LilacFinch81 · 31/12/2025 14:43

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Evaka · 31/12/2025 14:42

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Yep. I think OP wants support without providing any context.

lifeisgoodrightnow · 31/12/2025 14:38

One of my friend’s children wasn’t invited this Christmas but her other children were. Reasons were the uninvited child only ever contacts to borrow money that they rarely repay, they chain smoke roll ups upwards of 100 a day and the smell is overwhelming, they blew out some dental appointments this year that my friend had already spent £1000 on - which was lost ( teeth rotten due to smoking ) and the final straw was when the persons daughter aged two turned up also with rotten teeth.

I think there’s usually a reason and people are fast to go ‘no contact’ with what they view as a toxic parent but rarely understand that sometimes parents also have red lines.

Ellie1015 · 31/12/2025 14:36

Are the children different ages so not suitable for yours?

Has there been a falling out between you and another person going?

Is it a distance thing? Is it an activity you are not likely to enjoy? Eg drinking and you are sober? Steakhouse and you are vegan?

Are the others nearby each other and you are further away?

Christmaseree · 31/12/2025 14:35

I always did loads of things with my DM and my DC, I didn’t think
to ask my sibling as they are capable of arranging their own activities with our DM.

LilacFinch81 · 31/12/2025 14:35

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nondrinker1985 · 31/12/2025 14:34

As with all these things always huge back stories

dontmalbeconme · 31/12/2025 14:33

Do both siblings live near to each other/your parents and you far away?

Are all the children compatible ages? (I wouldn't invite teens to toddler focused events or vice verse).

Have there been historical fall outs involving you, or are you the kind of person who always wants to change plans to suit you, rather than going with the flow?

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 31/12/2025 14:33

Are you “equal adults” @thefrugaldime?
as in for activities costs/food/excursions do you all pay equally or get there under you own steam?
a babygroup mum I know has this issue with her siblings /land parents, but she’s not an equal adults. Doesn’t drive so needs collected and taken home, always forgets her purse… forgets things for the dc, and just expects her siblings and parents to carry her, but she can’t see the issue of how annoying this is!

saraclara · 31/12/2025 14:31

Have you ever said "I'd have loved to have been there, can you let me know next time you're planning to see (cousins)"?

LilacFinch81 · 31/12/2025 14:30

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readingisallowed · 31/12/2025 14:30

When you have mentioned not being invited what did they say the reason you haven't.

Meadowfinch · 31/12/2025 14:29

Yes but what reason do they give OP?

Original poster
thefrugaldime · 31/12/2025 14:27

@FerrisWheelsandLilacs as I have said it wouldn't bother me if a sibling and a parent spent time together- I would find that odd to be hurt over. It's because both siblings and not me are included

OP posts:
LilacFinch81 · 31/12/2025 14:27

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