Another short-term relationship ended...why? :(

It’s hard, OP. But, as they say, all’s fair in love and war. If someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, that’s their right. There’s no ‘fair’ or ‘unfair’ about it.

If you want to improve your relationships I’d look at what the patterns might be.

I wonder if you’re falling in love quite quickly in new relationships and things are getting very intense very quickly. Is there a way you could take things a bit slower?

I also wonder if you could benefit from some help with regulating your emotions, as crying and trying to prevent someone from leaving after a small argument seems unusually intense.

I’m also wondering what there is to argue about so heatedly in a newish relationship - this in itself seems a sign that things aren’t quite right. It could be worth learning more ways to approach differences of opinion and disagreements.

Putting the ‘feeling unsafe’ to one side, it sounds like you were arguing and being hysterical so I’m not surprised he called it a day. If this is a pattern in your relationships you need to reflect on that - you sound like the common denominator.

It’s not always the man’s fault you know.

Exactly. I wouldn't stay in a friendship where the other person behaved like that, let alone a romantic relationship. The sex of the other person is irrelevant.

Neither would I, or indeed any rational person.

@buzzheath - what is actually going on for you to react to a ‘small argument’ with such strong emotions and quite hysterical behaviour?

Clearly this relationship is over, and if I am reading correctly between the lines, this isn’t the first time that your inability to regulate your emotions has contributed to a relationship breakdown?

Maybe counselling might be a good idea…

Jumping to extremes doesn’t strengthen your argument. Simple moving her to one side would have sufficed. I guess now you’ll jump to another extreme and claim he’d be accused of assault if he did such a thing.

He didn't say he felt physically unsafe. For sure, were I a man, I would not trust a woman who was crying and shouting and blocking my exit. You don't know what she's going to do next.

Did you stop him from leaving?

What does "acting like a man" look like to you?

And why does feeling scared or freaked out mean they're not acting like men?

You shouldn't have tried to stop him leaving. Given the physical difference between you, you actually put yourself into an unsafe situation, so its a very unwise thing to do.
Obviously he was at no physical risk, so his use of 'unsafe' is inappropriate. Uncomfortable would be a less hyperbolic description, but clearly he feels the need to make you feel as bad as possible.
Your takeaway from this should be if a person wants to leave, you should never try to stop them.

What do you think he should have gone then? Given her a slap and told her to get back in the kitchen?

Absolutely this. I wouldn't want any part of that.

I've ended relationships for similar. I don't want to be with someone who isn't capable of having a disagreement without getting hugely emotional, and I certainly wouldn't put up with someone who blocked my exit from an unpleasant situation.

That’s exactly what I’m saying, yes. I thought I was quite clear on that.

Very glad I grew up around men who actually acted like men.

Maybe emotionally unsafe? TBH if someone I was seeing got so upset over a small argument (your description) I would also extricate myself. Life’s too short to be with someone constantly going off like a firework. Do you feel like you could benefit from working on how/ why you react the way you do OP?

Where did OP indicate she was going “batshit”? You’ve just made that up to strengthen your argument.

She may have just been pleading with him not to leave, while it’s undignified of her there’s so reason for a much larger man to feel unsafe based on that alone. I know Mumsnet loves to be woke at times but I really don’t care to wear that badge.

Why do you think he can't feel unsafe - because he's a man? Because he's bigger than her?

Her behaviour sounds extreme and irrational - I would be freaked out too.

lol

You don’t no OP at all or how reasonable or unhinged her behaviour is, you have zero clue whether or not he was right to feel unsafe. And his feelings don’t make him a wet blanket, he was up front with her - he didn’t like how she behaved in that argument and he doesn’t want to deal with it again, which is fair enough wether you are a man or a woman.

He can end the relationship for any reason. It doesn't matter if you find the reasons fair or not.

If you did block his exit from the situation, you can't claim it's fine because you're five foot. That's not fair and I can see how he'd be uneasy around you.

So, a woman has physically blocked a man from leaving her flat. She is crying hysterically. Maybe there was some screaming/shouting? Begging?

What is he supposed to do - physically move her? And what's she going to do then - accuse him of physically abusing her?

I'd want well out of that, as well. Doesn't matter about the size of the women, I would be feeling very unsafe going forward.

Someone going absolutely batshit over a small argument might be an indicator that they have some issues, it isnt wildly outlandish to feel unsafe (you dont know his history).

If OP is acting emotionally unstable, blocking his exit, not allowing him to leave - these are not the actions of a self aware rational person.

With all due respect you sound like someone with a very sheltered life.

Why were you so emotional and trying to stop him from leaving if the argument was small? The fact you are short doesn’t mean it’s ok to behave unreasonably like that. I’m not sure why you are wondering ‘why’ when he’s already told you

What an unpleasant post. This man hasn’t ghosted this woman - he’s been upfront following an argument and said he wants to end the relationship. There’s nothing cowardly about that.

I don’t suppose he felt at risk of being physically assaulted but it is possible to feel unsafe in a situation where someone has lost control of their emotions.

Some of you are being very unfair to this man. Are you not aware that men can be emotionally and physically abused by women?

And why are you calling a man who didn't want to resort to physically moving a woman, and doesn't want that to happen again, a "wet blanket"?

https://www.tcd.ie/news_events/articles/2025/male-vulnerability-still-ridiculed-in-contemporary-societies-making-it-difficult-for-abused-men-to-seek-support/