Cafes should have 2 lines...

I don't need or want assistance. Just a few seconds more than it took me before I had a stroke. Which could happen to any of the whingers. Their 'oh so perfect' selves might find their lives changed overnight too.

I see you've been in a Subway the same time as my DH.
The idea of deciding what you want before you go in has totally passed him by.

I was in the Marks Cafe queue behind someone wanting 2 of those Rodney Reindeer hot chocolates. Takes a while.

There is a special place in hell for those who order a large round of drinks, and after seeing the bar tender begin pouring then add, 'Oh, and a Guinness!!'

If you’re going to Starbucks, Costa or many other places, you can use the app to click and collect. Saves loads of hassle.

Can we have a 3rd line for me and people like me - I just want to pay for my can of san pelligrino and sandwich picked from the fridge and don't want any hot drinks. Your weird obsession with using boiling water to leach the soluble substances out of dried leaves imported from thousands of miles away is just as incomprehensible and irritating and a waste of my time as the coffee-drinkers' preferences are to you @Mysterian so you tea drinkers only get the medium-level lane, not the fast lane.

Your being very generous, why not go the whole hog and ask them only to serve you and kick everyone else out ?

Filter coffee (Vs Americano) would speed things up a lot. I think it's only Starbucks who do this and don't advertise it very well.

Separate queue for the tedious iced summer blended drink nonsense would get my vote

😂

If there were no faffers in life the go-getters would have no opportunity to practise patience, and would lose the capacity altogether.

It is filter coffee, but they will look blankly at you if you say it.

Totally with you on the complex coffee orders - mines a black filter coffee, no sugar 😁

I took the original post in the light hearted way it was meant, but from the responses, it’s little wonder that anxiety and high blood pressure are so common!

You are getting a coffee, you’re not a firefighter on call. Be patient and generous with giving others the benefit of the doubt. You don’t know what is going on for others or what mental capacity they have.

It’s a much nicer way to live - You’re helping to create an inclusive environment. My elderly Mother wouldn’t have a clue how Subway works. If she suddenly decided to try a sub, I would expect her to be treated respectfully and with patience. Staff should explain how it works for those who don’t know. If staff cannot be courteous, what’s the point of them?

That's what we call filter?
I've never been entirely sure.

No need for that. The bar person can start another order while the Guinness settles. If they don’t have the common sense to do that, it’s on them, not the customer.

Okay - I agree. Two lines - one for normal polite people and one for rude impatient bastards.

Suck It Up - people love a latte or whatever - so just crack on. Why must you have your 'warm drink' immediately?

And they underline what a sodding joke the Sugar Tax campaign is, whereby normal types can’t even buy Robinson’s Lemon Barley without finding ghastly sweeteners in it 🤬
Why bother with squash-bothering when the people They ought to be scrutinising are those whose idea of being hip coffee drinkers involves a pint of liquidised Mars Bars and whipped cream, minus any coffee.

Cafes should have an honesty box for straightforward orders like tea: a big urn and teabags and a money box.

Same for filter coffee.

It's a problem at many post-parkrun cafes, they can't cope with a sudden rush of thirsty runners, but if they had the honesty box approach for basic drinks that would remove half the queue.

Yep. Far better

i also like those where you scan a QR code on the menu at your table and order your meal and drinks online. So much more efficient.

So true about dogs and pavements. It's a bit too awkward to create additional pavements, so I would suggest they move over or step off the pavement to allow people to pass.
Radical, I know.

Forget coffee shops, we need hot chocolate shops. Where you can choose the country of origin. Want something with hints of berry try this one or how about a pure chocolate shot? Do you want hand whipped double cream on that or a shot of hazelnut?

Forget hot chocolates being classed as "luxury" because they have a bit of squirty cream and a few slightly stale marshmallows or got forbid it's made from melted Cadbury buttons.

There is a specialist coffee shop by me that sells every coffee you can imagine. I dont drink coffee but it looks amazing. They sell a few different teas. The "luxury" hot chocolate? Galaxy instant.

Tea drinkers can be just as bad as coffee drinkers...

I currently have 7 different types of tea in my kitchen. DD and DH insist they are all very different. Different ones are drunk at different times of day.

I don't like tea. I have coffee.... and my guilty pleasure of instant cappuccino sachets.

I was stood behind a couple in a National Trust tea room as we approached the front of the line four others joined them... it turned out that they were a group of volunteers. They each ordered a cappuccino with a couple of modifications. Took bloody ages all I wanted to do was pay for an ice cream. Thought it was a shitty thing to do pushing in when they knew they wanted complex drinks.

I giggled when I read this OP's post. I used to work shifts years ago and when i started I was in charge of making the tea. Approx 14 mugs of tea on a tray with a sugar bowl and spoon. Easy.
Last week I was working with a chap I hadn't met before in a branch office neither of us had worked in before. At tea break I offered to make him a cup of tea. He asked for decaffinated tea with soya milk. He had brought neither to the office.