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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cafes should have 2 lines...

337 replies

Mysterian · 31/12/2025 12:13

...one for people like me who want sensible drinks like a cup of tea, and one for those who want freaky complicated things requiring bizarre steampunk looking machinery that take as much as 45 minutes to prepare. Take your order for a wombat milk frappy-mocha foam with cream and splash of smugness syrup and get out my way.
2 lines. One with a sign saying "Normal" above it and one saying "Can't Understand Normal Tea Stuff" overhead.
I sometimes have a hot chocolate, but without the la-di-da stuff like cream and chocolate powder. Like John Wayne or Jesus would have had.

OP posts:
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ToadRage · 31/12/2025 12:18

And another for those who just want a glass of Coke and a panini?

Tooparanoid · 31/12/2025 12:17

OMG, yes. I just want a cold drink and a piece of cake, I don’t want to be queuing behind all the crazy fuckers who want those weird and time-consuming concoctions.

Very1 · 31/12/2025 12:17

I want one for people who haven’t chosen their cake when there are only 8 choices and faff about deciding.

Clefable · 31/12/2025 12:17

Ordering a standard cup of tea in a cafe is weird and this is a hill I will die on. I can lob a teabag in a cup at home but I can’t make a fancy shmancy coffee so I’m ordering one of those! Going to the effort of going to a cafe just to have a plain cup of tea is crazy behaviour. Shouldn’t be allowed. Or only for people over the age of 80.

Grin
upstairsdownstairscardboardbox · 31/12/2025 12:17

@Baital - I suppose this is a less aggressive way of saying the same thing 😂

randomchap · 31/12/2025 12:16

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 31/12/2025 12:14

Same for bars that serve cocktails. A line for drinks that takes 10 mins each to make and a line for everyone else.

And a line for Guinness too.

upstairsdownstairscardboardbox · 31/12/2025 12:16

Oh God I want 2 lines in Post Office, Bank and Airports - one for us and one for the people who literally hatched from an egg this morning and do not understand money, tickets or being fucking well ready when it is your goddamn turn Graham! 😡AARRGGGHHHH

Baital · 31/12/2025 12:15

There should be separate lines for people who have their money or debit card ready to pay, and those that have their wallet at the bottom of their bag and will take forever to locate it, open it, decide between cash and card etc...

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 31/12/2025 12:14

Same for bars that serve cocktails. A line for drinks that takes 10 mins each to make and a line for everyone else.

ProfessorRedshoeblueshoe · 31/12/2025 12:14

John Wayne or Jesus - 😂

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 12:13

Sounds like someone's been sniffing lines.