Cafes should have 2 lines...

There should definitely be a line for stupid people at the airport. The stuff people think they can take through security is insane.

God i'd love to see someone do a really bad Duke impression - including the walk - to request a coffee, ma'am, from the littl' lady.

There should be a special place in hell for those people who get to the till, get asked if they have a loyalty card and act surprised that they need it. Cue digging about in pockets or bags, muttering it's here somewhere, finally locating it and scanning it. Then they have to put it back in its place and faff about finding their payment card, which is never ever ever in the same place as the loyalty card. Cue more hunting for the payment card. Cashback madam/ sir? Simple question, I'm not bloody asking you for the meaning of life or to solve the Middle East problem, yes or no?
As you might guess, I work on a till and I get this every single day. The temptation to rip their wallet out of their hands and get the bloody cards that I CAN SEE, BRIAN, WHY CAN'T YOU, is great.
I love my job but blimey, some days!

Turning the tide of coffee drinking like an under-caffinated Canute is my main personality trait.

Power to the tea drinkers op. 💪 I stand beside you in the normal queue.

This. And also aisles for people who weave from side to side and/or park their trolley in the middle of a fucking aisle while they wander off.

And a special supermarket for those who chat to their friends, both holding trolleys blocking an entire aisle.

I think they have this right in the US, there is usually a pot of drip coffee available for people who just want “a cup of coffee”, not a whole performance.

Teas so boring to have at a cafe. You can make that at home to the same standard.

Can I have a third line? For people with allergies who don't want to be penalised? Yes, I'm ordering a drink with oat milk... Not because I want a fancy coffee, but because I don't want to have a medical episode.

I voted nbu based on this line alone

Yep just give me an instant rather than all that hyped up, inflated ingredient list beverage.

Oh yes, the endless fucking banging of the little thing that holds the coffee, and wiping nozzles with cloths. Absolute ponce-fest.

Can we also have two lanes on pavements, one for people going somewhere and one for people who want to dawdle, text while dawdling, stop and point out something random to their companion, search in the bottom of their bag for something while standing in the middle of the path, stop and have a long chat with someone going the other way, or let their yappy dog's lead get tangled up in a different yappy dog's lead? Thanks.

No need for that in am Irish bar. Irish bar staff will pull the Guinness, leave it to settle and move on to the next customer, serve them, top up the first Guinness and finish serving the first customer.

I had a major culture shock when i first went to an English bar and discovered the bar staff would only serve one customer at a time!!

@Clefable having a cuppa and some lovely cake is my treat when I'm out 😊 and yes I will die on that hill Lol

Agree, I'd like this everywhere. Especially in supermarkets where some shoppers seem surprised that they have to pay at the end, and spend 5 minutes looking for their purse, then another 5 minutes putting it away in the right compartment BEFORE moving away from the fecking checkout, while the cashier and I (and the whole queue behind me) look daggers at them. Twats.

Miaow.
Just forget the nice warm drink and have a saucer of milk instead.

Not a bad idea but YABU to say line instead of queue.

I live in France where we have a similar problem in bakeries, particularly on Sundays or Bank Holidays or today, NYE, when some people just want bread, but others are choosing multiple fancy cakes which have to be packed into boxes. One queue for the quick mundane stuff, and another for those who want cakes ( or cakes and bread), PLEASE.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone got hit on the head on their way to the post office.

Our old local post office had a machine where you could get stamps and post UK parcels self-service. It saved a lot of listening to idiots asking stupid questions while waiting in line.

Our new local has no machine and also acts as an amazon delivery point so every second person in the queue wants to pick up an Amazon parcel without their ID number.

I want a supermarket for people who have spatial awareness and are considerate of others, and one for everyone else.

I once found myself, at a motorway services Costa, behind a woman buying NINE different fartarsey beverages - all permutations of coffees with syrups, fake milks, hot chocolate with cream and stuff in addition - so each was made entirely separately. I seriously wanted to deck her.

I'm generally going to a cafe for a yap with a friend rather than for the type of refreshment, and I don't drink coffee but do like tea, so.... 😄

Oh a separate line at Subway for people who have never been or have come down from the Planet Zog.

’What type of bread do you have? Is there a list of toppings? Oh it’s up there. What size are the sandwiches? Oh they’re not sandwiches?’ And so on.