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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cafes should have 2 lines...

337 replies

Mysterian · 31/12/2025 12:13

...one for people like me who want sensible drinks like a cup of tea, and one for those who want freaky complicated things requiring bizarre steampunk looking machinery that take as much as 45 minutes to prepare. Take your order for a wombat milk frappy-mocha foam with cream and splash of smugness syrup and get out my way.
2 lines. One with a sign saying "Normal" above it and one saying "Can't Understand Normal Tea Stuff" overhead.
I sometimes have a hot chocolate, but without the la-di-da stuff like cream and chocolate powder. Like John Wayne or Jesus would have had.

OP posts:
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BandedSnail · 31/12/2025 12:52

Also, people who need to find their purse/bus pass at the bottom of their bags/in one of 100 pockets should not be allowed to get on the bus.

How hard is it to have it ready in your hand at the bus stop?

B1anche · 31/12/2025 12:51

Clefable · 31/12/2025 12:18

Oh a separate line at Subway for people who have never been or have come down from the Planet Zog.

’What type of bread do you have? Is there a list of toppings? Oh it’s up there. What size are the sandwiches? Oh they’re not sandwiches?’ And so on.

That sounds like me on the first (and only) time I went into a Subway

AllPlayedOut · 31/12/2025 12:51

Weirdoero · 31/12/2025 12:38

This! Who’s paying for tea or americano!

Very strange behaviour

Show quote history

Some sandwiches/drinks go better with tea imo but regardless, surely the idea of people ordering anything more elaborate than a black coffee stopped being funny or remarkable in about 1998?

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2025 12:49

The people who go into our M&S on the exit side of the door and get pissed off when you express your exasperation when they’re blocking your way out. Just keep left ffs, it’s not hard to

ChristmaslightsuptilJanuary · 31/12/2025 12:48

Oh no, someone’s not as funny as they think they are

ImWearingPantaloons · 31/12/2025 12:48

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/12/2025 12:21

I once found myself, at a motorway services Costa, behind a woman buying NINE different fartarsey beverages - all permutations of coffees with syrups, fake milks, hot chocolate with cream and stuff in addition - so each was made entirely separately. I seriously wanted to deck her.

I would have held your cardi 😊

miamo12 · 31/12/2025 12:48

I like a nice pot of tea in a cafe, but then I don’t go to cafes often because I prefer the coffee the way I make it at home (cafetière, strong and black) and can’t see the point of paying someone to make inferior coffee, we drink in cafes a distance from home, not in local town

Sunshineismyfavourite · 31/12/2025 12:47

Absolutely get you OP.

Also if there's a massive queue and we've all waited 20 minutes to get to the till, to then when asked what you want, spend bloody ages deciding! And asking people with you what they want! You've just had 20 fucking minutes to ask Auntie Joan what she wants and for you all to decide - what have you been doing! 😩

Melody21 · 31/12/2025 12:46

Weirdoero · 31/12/2025 12:38

This! Who’s paying for tea or americano!

Very strange behaviour

Show quote history

Like I said above... people who want to chat to their friends in a cafe and like to drink tea while doing so 😄

toadinthebucket · 31/12/2025 12:46

Why are we calling them lines? They're queues

AllPlayedOut · 31/12/2025 12:46

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 12:38

I don't drink it so I have no idea but why does a caramel latte take longer than a normal one?

Don't they just tip a bit of syrup in?

Yes.

SchrodingersKoala · 31/12/2025 12:46

I don't like coffee and hot chocolate is a bit rich for a casual drink so I'm left with a plain old cup of tea. Usually takes 3 days to get my boiled water on a tea bag so I have to agree 😆.

AllPlayedOut · 31/12/2025 12:45

Garroty · 31/12/2025 12:41

Like Jesus would have had 😂

You know I think you might be on to something

He performed a literal miracle in order to avoid being stuck with only plain water at a wedding so he’d definitely be Team Caramel Latte.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/12/2025 12:45

youegg · 31/12/2025 12:42

I’d love these at airport security. One line for people who know what the fuck is going on and the other for people who have no clue what might happen next despite the fact there are clear signs and instructions several times over.

A line just for first time flyers and people with sensory impairments/other needs? With dedicated staff to guide them through the process? Sounds excellent.

apokeyweeplace · 31/12/2025 12:44

II think I have found 'my people' 😂
I feel the rage -
Pavement dawdlers
Mocha caramelatte iced drink people
Those that stand in doorways/ top of escalators/ middle of aisles
The surprise re the loyalty card
The standing in line for 15 minutes to then not know what to order from the menu
Hand holders that take up the whole bloody pavement
People who stand too close in the line - ugh

youegg · 31/12/2025 12:44

@Chemengeroooh! Jinx!

Myblueclematis · 31/12/2025 12:43

Portakalkedi · 31/12/2025 12:25

Agree, I'd like this everywhere. Especially in supermarkets where some shoppers seem surprised that they have to pay at the end, and spend 5 minutes looking for their purse, then another 5 minutes putting it away in the right compartment BEFORE moving away from the fecking checkout, while the cashier and I (and the whole queue behind me) look daggers at them. Twats.

I feel your pain on this. I had exactly that on Monday in a very busy Morrisons.

She took ages to go through the checkout and at the other end, instead of packing the trolley and moving away, stood there putting items into different bags, chatting to the checkout lady, then she looked for her purse, then had to move round to the card reader, then sloooowwwwllly moved back to her trolley to put her card back in her purse and zip up her bag before gradually moving away still yakking to the cashier as she went.

Dear God, I truly felt murderous that morning.

youegg · 31/12/2025 12:42

I’d love these at airport security. One line for people who know what the fuck is going on and the other for people who have no clue what might happen next despite the fact there are clear signs and instructions several times over.

Chemenger · 31/12/2025 12:42

Also the people who get to the front of the queue at airport security and have to be told to take their coats off, told to take their belt off, told to take electronics out and then told to empty their pockets; having walked past a million signs and ignored several announcements.

Shoxfordian · 31/12/2025 12:42

Can we have a line for people who know what they want, and have money ready

I'm not sure if I'm allowed in the normal queue for a flat white?

Garroty · 31/12/2025 12:41

Like Jesus would have had 😂

You know I think you might be on to something

Famua · 31/12/2025 12:40

AllezMarsha · 31/12/2025 12:23

I live in France where we have a similar problem in bakeries, particularly on Sundays or Bank Holidays or today, NYE, when some people just want bread, but others are choosing multiple fancy cakes which have to be packed into boxes. One queue for the quick mundane stuff, and another for those who want cakes ( or cakes and bread), PLEASE.

I don’t live in France but my local bakery serves hot baguettes and has no separate line for those who just want to pick up a crusty roll. No, you have to wait while the meat is selected, carved and adorned with sauces or worse the egg/bacon/ sausage is cooked. Outrageous. I gave up going in years back.

GinToBegin · 31/12/2025 12:39

Stations should have gates marked for organised people who are primed and ready to go through, and gates for faffers. You know the sort, walk confidently up to the gate, then stop and start the Rummage of Despond trying to find their ticket/card/brain. Faffers should also have their own dedicated circle of hell.

Weirdoero · 31/12/2025 12:38

Clefable · 31/12/2025 12:17

Ordering a standard cup of tea in a cafe is weird and this is a hill I will die on. I can lob a teabag in a cup at home but I can’t make a fancy shmancy coffee so I’m ordering one of those! Going to the effort of going to a cafe just to have a plain cup of tea is crazy behaviour. Shouldn’t be allowed. Or only for people over the age of 80.

Grin

This! Who’s paying for tea or americano!

Very strange behaviour

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 12:38

I don't drink it so I have no idea but why does a caramel latte take longer than a normal one?

Don't they just tip a bit of syrup in?