Cafes should have 2 lines...

Petrol stations. You come out from paying and buying sweets, I am waiting to use the pump you're car is parked at. You proceed to take off your jacket put it in the back, put the sweets somewhere in the car that seems to take hours get in, then get out to get your keys out of the jacket get back in start car put on seat belt

Oh yes, all that barista-faffing….

On a first trip to Majorca over 10 years ago now with a friend, it was brilliant to find plenty of cafes, where you could just sit down and a waiter/waitress would bring you a cup of very good filter coffee. Quickly!

I didn’t see one Starbucks etc. - I dare say it’s awash with them now, and all their caramel spiced lattes and other abominations.

That is so sweet! Bless him

Haha! Unless it’s my lovely old late dad, who liked using up his coins “because they’ll appreciate it in their tills for change” and would tip out a pile and carefully count out the right amount for the tea and cake!

Cash is king….another hill I’ll die on!

By I actually lived this yesterday. Coffee shop at the station. Only one person ahead of me so I thought “I’ll have time to get my tea before the next train”. Oh no, the woman in front wanted some convoluted coffee with 15 different modifications. I could feel my blood pressure rising and thought of this thread.

Fortunately the woman at the counter was switched on, took my order over the top of the woman’s head while she negotiated with her toddler which cookie he wanted, and I made my train with seconds to spare.

The complicated coffees only take an extra 30 seconds tbh

I thought this when I lived in an area near Wimbledon! Was saying excuse me to people to get through a crowd waiting to cross the road to the tube stop. Road cordoned off by a bouncer. Meanwhile I was just trying to walk around the corner without crossing, to get home from the supermarket. Some tourist made a comment about why I was allowed to push through, I said "because I actually live here!"

Omg 😂😂 I thought I was BU recently, stuck in a long queue at a motorway services Costa, getting a coffee for my tired DH (the one driving), baby asleep in the car and we wanted him to stay that way. Stuck behind a family ordering all the Terry's orange faffacinos and adding cakes to their order while I had a face on 😂

Not their problem! But if I could make the world revolve around me...

What about people using a card? Do we choose which queue based on whether it's a quick beep with card, or whether we're going to fumble around looking for said card?

Two lines, or queues, in an ideal world but they wouldn’t have the staff, sadly. If there was a capacity, queue one for food with drink, queue two for drinks (plain) and queue three for drinks (complicated).

Can I add an AIBU please! AIBU to expect my Americano to be filled to the top please! An Americano, by its very definition, is a black coffee. The number of times I’m asked if I want milk and even when I say no there is usually still an inch or more left from coffee to rim! Cue, going back to get it topped up.

M&s should have 2 queues…one for those who know how to use their phone and one for people to use cash. I’ll die on this hill!

DH and I come up every year for the Fringe and I've thought so many times how it must drive the locals mad! We're considerate tourists (well, we certainly do our best to be), but I see so many who weave here and there taking up the entire pavement and walking soooo slowly, it must drive locals mad, as must the crowds generally.

QUEUE!

I haven’t finished the whole thread (sorry) but our local Subway has changed to order screens. There was just me and DC and only DC wanted a sandwich.
Counter staff said we needed to use the screens, we tried but DC couldn’t find his usual choice. I asked staff if we could just order at the counter, staff said no.
Staff then came over to help us place the order via the screen in more time than would have taken to verbalise the order.
There is a different Subway branch that is still “old style” face to face combat with a foot long so we will start using that one.
Filter coffee talk made me think of my Mum having one of her dinner parties where she would whip out those plastic individual filter coffee things that sat on the cup and boiling water was poured in the top and a lid put on. We thought they were so posh then, not a soya matcha bubble tea paper straw hazelnut syrup with extra foam hot drink then!

I can find lots around London.

😂

I do like a wanky coffee now, but have only started drinking coffee recently. Before that I used to get tea from Greggs or McDonald’s as it’s cheap, quick and exactly the same wherever you go.

There are several tea shops / tea rooms round our way (SW London). Seen loads of them elsewhere (up north / west country) too!

There is a chain called Knoops with 12 outlets around the country ( tried to post a link but couldn’t) - pass one of them frequently but haven’t tried as not my thing. I’ll bet they have been doing a roaring trade over the past few days in chilly weather.

I’m intrigued - what characteristics made her seem like a mistress?

Was she wearing fishnets?

Ai

If I want to buy a scone at the cafe by my work I have to wait 15 mins for the coffees of the people in front of me to be made. When all it would take to serve me is for them to put it in a bag and tap the price into the payment machine. So I don’t go, and they lose out on customers. Such a stupid way to run a business.

I didn't call any drink wankerish.