New puppy...

Why should she live on multiple medications that make her feel crap and also have other side effects just to keep a nasty man happy? And no it’s not always the dander it’s the saliva and the airborne everything that comes off a dog no matter how much you keep them clean! If her eyes are swollen and streaming and she’s affected in her breathing that’s a MAJOR reaction that can easily turn into anaphylaxis!

the answer is to get rid of the “d” p !! And he can take the dog with him

Get some advice regarding the antihistamine too because one like piriton will treat the symptoms but you need a daily one like clarityn to build up and make an actual difference to the reaction.

Re the dog. I think you need to keep it. Giving it back will make you the bad guy forever. Make your DP and kids do everything! Don’t give in on that. Stand your ground. Keep the windows open and read up about ways to reduce your reaction (like regularly bathing the dog, keeping it out of the room you sleep in etc).

Crate training is fine for sleeping in so ignore anyone saying you’re being cruel, etc. I picked my new puppy up 3 days ago and she sleeps in a crate at night, he’s sleeping 7 hours without a peep out of him and I know he’s in a safe place.

however you have a bigger issue than that. He really should go back now while he’s small enough to find a new home quickly. The problem with trying different remedies is how long do you give trying different stuff? If none of it works you have a six month or 8 month old dog which will be a lot harder to rehome. Talk to the breeder, maybe she had more enquiries than puppies? You might even get some money back. But if you don’t that’s your Dh’s problem. I can’t believe he said you have to pay him, just say no! He’s being outrageous.

@Doggynono so all he cares about is his money? Does anyone in your family treat you with any respect? Doesn’t sound like it. Honestly, you would be better off without him and maybe you can bring the kids up to treat people better than he treats you. So sorry.

Jeez, you were really silly to agree to this, the pup has only been with you for one week, return to breeder so it has the best chance of the new home.

Hopefully you bought from a responsible breeder who will welcome the pup back and find an appropriate home. You will lose out financially but the priority at this point is the pup's welfare.

Your kids will get over it. Your dh bloody better get over it, he cannot expect you to live like this for the next 10+ years. You tried it didn't work.

They aren’t married if he’s a “dp”

Hang on - dp? So you aren’t married? He can get to fuck then! Tell him to leave and take the dog with him is my advice! He sees how the dog is affecting you and doesn’t gives shit? You know this isn’t something that’s going to get better only worse? The allergies and then the dog will end up your responsibility because men like this don’t want to do the looking after just the owning!

A divorce would cost him more.

If you are allergic then you won't be able to live in the same house as the dog. If it is a very mild allergy it will be very unpleasant for you. You will have to take antihistamine which can make you sluggish and increase appetite so can cause weight gain if taken over long periods of time.

Is it definitely the dog causing your allergies??? You could try something stronger from the GP. You could also look into allergy testing to be sure. If you are allergic it’s not unreasonable to rehome but it’s rather silly of you and unfair on the dog to have entered into this when you weren’t really certain. I don’t know but is there any way your allergy would become desensitized over time? You could seek some expert help. I say all this as I do believe a dog does everyone in the household good, getting outside etc and it definitely brings people together in my experience x

Yes, I don't think the main problem here is the dog.

Actually it's the decent breeders that could have a litter at any time of year because the decent breeders are breeding purely to improve their lines.

It's the puppy farmers/backyard breeders that have puppies for sale at this time of year that are dodgy because they breed for money and only money.

It's not actually hard to find a decent breeder. You have to use your due diligence and put your emotions to one side. If people didn't buy puppies from commercial breeders, they wouldn't exist.

I would only EVER buy from a show or working breeder and wouldn't touch someone who just bred for the sake of it with a 50ft bargepole.

Btw the government are doing their best to make it harder for genuine small hobby breeders (the best, most responsible breeders) and actively encouraging commercial breeding so we'll end up with even less good breeders.

All I will say @Doggynono is that no caring partner would manipulate someone they love in this way.

You were an idiot to agree but he is awful to have pushed it.

You will eventually develop immunity to her, but it can take time.

We adopted a stray cat many years ago, and I developed an allergy to him. By the time I realised why I was sniffing etc, it was too late (i was in love with him!). I took antihistamine and used an inhaler. He was banned from the bedroom, and I started showering before bed, which all helped. I no longer take antihistamine daily (just occasionally) and haven't used an inhaler for years. They still don't sleep on the bed, and I still shower before bed. We now have 2 cats and I rarely have a problem anymore.

PS. Your DP is a horrible, controlling d**d.

You have a massive DP problem. He sounds a right dick.

For your allergies go to the GP and get eye drops, nose spray and prescription antihistamines. Bill your DP. Give it six weeks and then see how you are. Air filters will help, it will be the dander.

Poor little baby.

I wish people would stop thinking they have a breed when in fact they have a crossbred. Another clueless idiot back yard breeder making easy money by convincing thick people they're buying some sort of designer dog breed.

A poodle would have been a far more sensible choice for this family if only they had actually done some proper research. Why oh why don't people just do some reading and stop falling for fads?!!!

Poor baby will either have to go back or you could see if your reaction settles. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes trying to send that puppy back now even though it's probably the right thing to do.

Sigh.

Breeders cannot help when they breed - much depends on the bitches season and also their age. If, for example, you have a three year old bitch and you want to breed her twice you may well have no choice but to breed around Christmas because if you wait, and you want to give her a rest between litters rather than churning out puppies, you might end up in a situation where ultimately she's too old to be bred from safely.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a litter ready around Christmas. But the onus is on the breeder to do their 'vetting' carefully, as it is any other time of year.

I had a litter in late October/early November 2022. Puppies were ready to go at Christmas. And I don't think anyone who know's even the smallest thing about me would say I am not reputable just because I had a litter at Christmas - in fact, about 99% of mumsnet dog owners would fail to meet my standards for having one of my dogs and I am frequently told on here my standards are unreasonably high. 😂

What a completely useless, selfish article your OH is.

I'm guessing the kids are young so it was a given that they would be no help.

What's his excuse?

Well he has made an utter mug of you.

And he's bloody horrible as well!

Is he always controlling with money? As in demanding money you don't have for things he says are somehow your fault?

Honestly your allergies are severe. And yes they may settle as you get used to the dog, and hoovering twice a day may help

But the fact is your husband is furious over you having an involuntary reaction to the dog?!
You might get used to the dog but you should get rid of your husband.

And @Doggynono if you do decide to keep the stupid thing and his dog you need to have baby gates at the bottom and top of the stairs to stop it getting near your bed.

You need to rehome your partner too!

No reputable breeder would have planned a litter for Christmas or be breeding this mix of dog

You'll have to rehome the dog eventually.

Maybe this week you could leave the dog, DP and kids at home and go and stay with your dog-free parents for a few days as you're having such a bad reaction have a break from the stupid thing and the dog 💐🍹

You can absolutely not have a dog when you are allergic. The puppy unfortunately needs to go. Hopefully you got it from a reputable breeder who will take it back and give you a refund.

Or rather very stupid, status motivated people willing to pay thousands for a rebranded mongrel.

He bought it with all the associated risks and potential scenarios. It is not your place to pay him back. What kind of partner says and thinks like that???!

Is whatever he paid for it worth you living like this for years? You actually do not need to think about this , the answer is NO.

He is already bemoaning the fact that he has to stay downstairs to crate train puppy. I can see him gradually slacking in his care responsibilities towards puppy and it will become your responsibility because youncome across as very nice but also quite passive.

You were loving, kind & considerate and agreed to getting a dog despite your allergies. YOU HAVE TRIED. IT IS NOT WORKING OUT. So now it is time for him to be caring and considerate too (from your posts not sure he has these qualities towards you) and let puppy be rehomed. Puppy has to go.