New puppy...

My partner was allergic to cats. I have three. He took antihistamines to start with, but over time stopped needing them. He must have developed an immunity or something? Wasn’t something we expected, but he doesn’t have a problem at all now. I hope it works out op, your dog sounds lovely.

What a prince! 🙄

I'd re-home the dog. Then the partner.

Allergy is no joke. It's astonishing to me how many people treat it as such.

Unless it is a really dodgy set up, which it possibly is, won't the breeder take her back? Any reputable breeder will be putting the welfare of the puppies first. This is just not a workable scenario. There is no way you can be on medication/ suffering with allergies for the next decade.

Agree. Most asthma deaths are because of poor management and not taking meds properly and regularly. Allergies really do suck, but it’s manageable in a lot of cases even with pets. My reactions to friends cats definitely damped down over time. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

Hey, just wanted to share our experience, as it was very similar to yours.

My husband is allergic to some dogs. Like you, we visited our dog a few times with no issues, but once we brought her home his allergies flared badly and it was pretty miserable for him. We actually took her back to the rescue centre with the intention of rehoming her, but my husband just couldn’t go through with it.

What followed was a really tough few months for us - lots of discomfort and stress - but over time things did improve. These days he doesn’t get symptoms from her at all, unless he’s been away from her for a long time or it’s peak hay fever season (the doctors explained it like an “allergy threshold”, where other triggers can tip things over).

We saw doctors and allergy specialists and put a lot of measures in place: HEPA air filters and a good vacuum, keeping her mostly in non-carpeted areas, restricting her to certain parts of the house (not in the bedroom or upstairs, so he always had a refuge), plus regular baths and grooming, and washing all her bedding at least once a week. All of that really helped.

I’m not sure if this will make you feel better or worse. But for us, there was an adjustment over time. I do think people can adapt, but it’s also important to be realistic: it took A LOT of effort, consistency and money, and it was pretty intense for a while. That’s definitely something to weigh up too.

Also… your husband sounds like a massive dick. Absolutely nuts that he is treating you like that.

Unfortunately the problem is with your partner and he’s the one that needs rehoming, I’d be getting shot now and telling him to take his dog with him!

I have asthma, I have various triggers, including allergies, but also just plain, straight-up asthma, triggered by god knows what.

As I said previously, I live with 2 cats I am allergic to. If OP does have asthma, all she needs to do is ensure she is careful with her medication, i.e., keep a backup reliever in case her original runs out unexpectedly, and make sure she takes her preventative religiously.

Asthma can kill, but the cause of that is rarely an allergic reaction, which is fortunate for people like me who are also allergic to things less easy to avoid, such as house dust and grass pollen.

I hope your allergies get better in time, mine did. I was okay with our family dog until I moved out. Then when I’d visit and fuss him I’m be itchy, watery eyes etc, I’d lost my tolerance to him by not living with him.
had the same with guinea pigs and rabbits. Other peoples I wheeze, get a rash, watery eyes etc but I’ve owned rabbits and guineas in the past and survived without being allergic ridden daily (presumably I was in the beginning but developed a tolerance)

Tell him to get stuffed. He forced the dog on you, it was all him. I would seriously say the dog needs rehomed. You can’t live like that for years to come.

My husband is allergic to cats and we had two for 20 years.

he took anti histamine when his allergies flared up and would take two at a time. The Dr said this was ok. Then he would get used them and it would be ok. So it mainly happened when we had been on holiday and then came home again. It was his choice to get them. He did see the dr and they said it’s the cats or the wife or you just put up with it. 🤣

Agreed, my dog is 15 1/2 and going strong still

I am allergic to cats and dogs and have always had cats. I find that if I spend a month or two without any (when one has died and we havent yet got another) the allergies come back for the first few months with a new cat but it tapers off slowly. Also find other peoples cats bother me even now. Wiping them down daily with a wet towel can help, air purifiers in your bedroom and keeping them to certain rooms such as downstairs only.

Sounds about right. This is usually the case. Don’t get a pet if you don’t want it as ultimately mum is the main caregiver 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hey OP, there's a chance that your allergies may settle with your own dog. I wish you well xx

Is their anyway you can have some sort of garden room /log cabin in garden which can be dogs in order to reduce time spent in the actual home ?

Could you keep the dog contained to one room. Then perhaps have wipeble flooring and washable covers for any furnishings?

Plus an air purifier in there.

Rules about no clothing to enter your bedroom if worn near dog?

No need for me to google that thank you - just picked up my fostair so am aware. Still think a talk with the GP about meds is in order if she wants to keep the dog.

OP hasn’t mentioned being asthmatic…so unless that’s diagnosed by a GP and she hasn’t mentioned it then it’s not an issue.

This is quite confusing.
You've held strong for years and you have 4 kids (joint kids?) but you have such separate finances that you have to pay him back if you turn out to be allergic to the thing you both knew you were allergic to, that you didn't want, but he pressured you for years to live with.

Honestly, LTB. You cannot live the next somethingteen years in a house full of your allergen. He won't even change out of his allergen covered clothes when he shares a bed with you.

It is you or the dog. It has to be. You cannot live like this and it sounds like he doesn't care at all.

owner of two standard poodles pure bred. we owned two prior to these monsters. They have hair instead of fur as all sizes of poodles do. However you can still be allergic to their licks.. do not let any dog lick you if you have allergies. Also, your dog is a crossbreed, no guarantee of the poodle genes. I feel for you.

And now your health is at risk.

Yeah he wants to keep the dog but doesn’t want to do the work. Never ever ever beleivd people when part of their negotiations is that they walk the dog, clean up after the dog etc etc. it is always bullshit

I was going to say the allergies might calm down. DH is allergic to dogs (red streaming eyes, sneezing constantly etc) and we have a labrador. The dog stays downstairs so theors a dog free zone, he's mainly fine with him apart from if he gives him a good belly rub, sits on the sofa with him for too long or if we've been on holiday and away from him for a week or 2. If he goes into a house with a different dog he's still allergic though 🤷‍♀️
Your husband shouldn't be moaning that he has to sleep with the puppy, he wanted it, did he not see this sort of thing happening until it settled??

Rehome the husband.
If you don't want to do that then at least crate train him.

dog has to go. Honestly please don’t risk your health. We had a pup, dh started with allergy symptoms, 7 months in he had a massive asthma attack. Dog had to go. It was devastating but allergies aren’t to be messed with.

Why does he get to make the rules? Tough, he's the one that needs to explain to the kids. And is he going to walk it, take it to puppy classes, clear up the garden??? Does he work from home? I imagine there is more to come. Put 100% of the burden on him.