Page 4 | How do you get over being left for another women?

Doesitgetbetterever · 2025-12-30T22:59:18+00:00

Three years on and I still can not get over the destruction of our family unit. It blindsided me after we was together 12 years. Children were only nursery age when this happened. I’ve been to heaps of therapy, changed home, got a new job and still the feeling of sadness does not go. I am at such a loss at how I move forward. Christmas just feels like such a lonely time. All my friends are married and I feel like I somehow failed. I find life really hard as a single parent. I feel completely broke and I often just wonder what’s the point. I’m barely existing. Ex long moved on and he lives and work with the women he left us for abroad, so rarely sees the children. i feel incredibly low this evening. I feel pathetic and like I should be over this.

Original poster

Doesitgetbetterever · 30/12/2025 23:21

pikkumyy77 · 30/12/2025 23:15

This isn’t a place for tough love snd judgement. You are doing pkenty if that. I think three years is enough of a mourning period. Start sticking your toe back into life’s water. Slowly but deliberately. This will sound corny but try keeping a gratitude journal. You have a lot to be angry about, sure, but the more you concentrate on that the less you can find your inner self, your joy, your peace. Start by reading up on gratitude journal s if you want. Then jot down one thing every night no matter how small. Check in with yourself in a month.

I will give this try thank you.

OP posts:

Original poster

Doesitgetbetterever · 30/12/2025 23:20

I have no childcare or support to date. I always have my kids. I also have read too many horror stories to have a man around my daughters. I’m honestly done with men. Too much trauma.

Working is so hard when you have no support and all the school runs pick ups, sickness and holidays to cover alone. I work flexibly around the kids but my pay is low. I feel trapped

OP posts:

malificent7 · 30/12/2025 23:16

It is tougb being a single mum but why not date again? Even just for fun and companionship.
Or.forget men and apply for better paid jobs? You don't need that prick...she is welcome to him! Who would choose a ' dad' with small kids at home?
As for money...are u getting all the benefits you need?

Wallywobbles · 30/12/2025 23:15

By it not being another man. Then just avoid thinking about. Generally it’s a them issue not a you issue.

pikkumyy77 · 30/12/2025 23:15

This isn’t a place for tough love snd judgement. You are doing pkenty if that. I think three years is enough of a mourning period. Start sticking your toe back into life’s water. Slowly but deliberately. This will sound corny but try keeping a gratitude journal. You have a lot to be angry about, sure, but the more you concentrate on that the less you can find your inner self, your joy, your peace. Start by reading up on gratitude journal s if you want. Then jot down one thing every night no matter how small. Check in with yourself in a month.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 30/12/2025 23:13

It’s never about you, always their ego.

My friend is so beautiful in every way but her partner cheated on her countless times. He could never get enough admiration from others. I couldn’t trust him with my granny. The whole town where we lived was in shock, - asking why would he ever cheat on Lydia as she was such a catch, but he did.

Original poster

Doesitgetbetterever · 30/12/2025 23:09

IHate · 30/12/2025 23:05

I suppose I’d ask myself why I wasn’t over it. It’s a horrid thing to happen, but it’s been three years - 25% of the time you were together. You can’t possibly want him back. So, what are you mourning?

I feel completely broke and I often just wonder what’s the point. I’m barely existing.

Why? Because a cheat picked someone else? Being ‘chosen’ by him can’t have been the thing that gave your existence meaning! If it was, now’s your opportunity to fix that.

Because I am solo parenting, struggling to juggle everything. The circumstances have left me with a low income and I feel hugely concerned about my financial future.

Naive maybe but I never imagined I would be a single mother.

OP posts:

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 30/12/2025 23:06

IHate · 30/12/2025 23:05

I suppose I’d ask myself why I wasn’t over it. It’s a horrid thing to happen, but it’s been three years - 25% of the time you were together. You can’t possibly want him back. So, what are you mourning?

I feel completely broke and I often just wonder what’s the point. I’m barely existing.

Why? Because a cheat picked someone else? Being ‘chosen’ by him can’t have been the thing that gave your existence meaning! If it was, now’s your opportunity to fix that.

She is mourning the life she planned. He has fucked off abroad and left her and his children.

IHate · 30/12/2025 23:05

I suppose I’d ask myself why I wasn’t over it. It’s a horrid thing to happen, but it’s been three years - 25% of the time you were together. You can’t possibly want him back. So, what are you mourning?

I feel completely broke and I often just wonder what’s the point. I’m barely existing.

Why? Because a cheat picked someone else? Being ‘chosen’ by him can’t have been the thing that gave your existence meaning! If it was, now’s your opportunity to fix that.