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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd 14 year old NYE plans

69 replies

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 22:26

So I am unwell with Covid - Xmas has been a write off. Single mum to one so if I’m down it does ruin a lot.
dd has been invited out tomorrow basically her friend has invited some of them to join them at a family do at a pub about 5 mins away. This is a family pub and it’s not likely that they could be served alcohol. They let teens in until 11pm (on their licence) as they do games etc.

dd wants to go along with her friend on the basis the parents will be there (at least 2 of th girls parents will be there). If I was going it would be ok - but I’m not and I’m worried as with the best will in the world no one else will look out for her like I will. I’m considering saying she can stay till 10 then I’ll collect her. I know she will push back to stay until midnight but as much as I’d like to I’m wary people get massively pissed on NYE!
aibu - what are others thoughts
she is a sensible girl and I know she won’t drink but she is only 14 (15 in March) on a grown up environment!

OP posts:
IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 30/12/2025 23:14

I would let them stay til midnight

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 23:13

Netcurtainnelly · 30/12/2025 23:11

Yes but the older you are the better equipped you are to deal with it.

20 is different to 14 anyway the Op has sorted it now.

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A 14 year old with her friends and their family in a family friendly pub is a good way to start learning about dealing with being around drunks

Netcurtainnelly · 30/12/2025 23:11

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 23:07

14 is old enough to be at a pub with family friends without worrying so much

14, 18, 20, 40... there are weird and horrible people around

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Yes but the older you are the better equipped you are to deal with it.

20 is different to 14 anyway the Op has sorted it now.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh do get over yourself

Ellie1015 · 30/12/2025 23:09

I think it sounds fine. And have a plan for early finish if dd isnt enjoying it. Eg send you a message and you will call with an excuse for her to leave early.

Mapleleaf114 · 30/12/2025 23:09

This reply has been deleted

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awrbc81 · 30/12/2025 23:09

I’d let her go, will the friend’s parents bring her home if she stays until midnight?
She’ll have her phone also and can call if she isn’t happy.
I actually think being in a pub with adults around is safer than being in a house party full of teens

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 23:07

Netcurtainnelly · 30/12/2025 23:04

Thats not very old. She's a vulnerable young girl and there's some horrible and weird people around today.

Show quote history

14 is old enough to be at a pub with family friends without worrying so much

14, 18, 20, 40... there are weird and horrible people around

Original poster
Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:07

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 22:52

Every half an hour would be way too much

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I’m just getting over Covid but I’m thinking I’ll go up from 9pm just cos I worry about others more than anything

OP posts:
Netcurtainnelly · 30/12/2025 23:05

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:02

Well iv checked with other girls parents and they are happy to keep an eye - I’ll then collect her and 2 others at 11 for a sleepover here
thanls for all your comments sometimes I don’t know if I’m being crazy or if I’m being too strict!

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Its what you feel comfortable with, not what others think.

Hope she has a nice time.

Original poster
Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:05

TheRocksStoppedRolling · 30/12/2025 22:58

You said you’re sure she won’t drink but then said she might??

I’m always prepared for what my daughter tells me and then the worst case around what might actually happen! I know they 100% wouldn’t get served if they tried, o know she wouldn’t take a drink of anyone else there - I also know that in the past one of them has got hold of a few buzzbals and they have shared that! So in my head that’s the worst case scenario. I have the chats with her I don’t condone her drinking alcohol I go on and on about it and I hope that are listens!
I also know the things I did as a teenager. As someone pointed out in this thread less chance of her drinking here than at a house party

OP posts:
Netcurtainnelly · 30/12/2025 23:04

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 22:49

It's a family event and the pub will be being extra hot on alcohol etc because of their licence and not wanting to alienate families in the future

It's not a nightclub or some seedy backstreet pub

She's 14

Relax

Thats not very old. She's a vulnerable young girl and there's some horrible and weird people around today.

Original poster
Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:02

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 30/12/2025 22:48

I think she'll be fine. Let her go and have a fun time with her friend. Her friend's parents will keep an eye on them, as will otherpeoplein the pub. NYE is usually the safest night because its all ticketed these days.

Look, if you were out on NYE and you saw some young teen girls getting pestered, you'd tell the pesterer to fuck off, wouldn't you? Most people are decent and will step in to protect kids.

Hope you feel better soon.

Well iv checked with other girls parents and they are happy to keep an eye - I’ll then collect her and 2 others at 11 for a sleepover here
thanls for all your comments sometimes I don’t know if I’m being crazy or if I’m being too strict!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:00

TheRocksStoppedRolling · 30/12/2025 22:44

When you say she’s not bad with alcohol, do you mean she drinks?

No sge doesn’t drink regularly but. Has tried it and then told me! That was the wirst case scenario

OP posts:
Bigearringsbigsmile · 30/12/2025 23:00

Definitely let her go!

Original poster
Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 22:58

likeafishneedsabike · 30/12/2025 22:42

I’m not sure this comment is helpful or supportive. Circumstances around the girl’s father are not the topic of the thread.

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What did it say?

OP posts:
TheRocksStoppedRolling · 30/12/2025 22:58

You said you’re sure she won’t drink but then said she might??

NextItsBooty · 30/12/2025 22:53

I think it sounds like a Pleasant and safe way for a young teenager to spend New Year’s Eve. I’d be pleased she had been invited.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 22:52

ByeChristmas · 30/12/2025 22:49

Message or better than that, talk to the other parents and measure their response about keeping an eye on dd. At that age I’m sure she’s no trouble!

Then maybe check in every half hour with dd and if she doesn’t respond tell her you’ll turn up! All being well collect her at 12.30?

Even better, can you also go with a mate?

Every half an hour would be way too much

BauhausOfEliott · 30/12/2025 22:49

It’s a family party. It’s going to be fine and I don’t think she needs picking up at 10pm. The whole point of NYE is staying up until midnight.

Yes, there will be adults drinking but that’s also the case at an evening wedding reception, a big family birthday party, a silver wedding bash etc, and people take teenagers to those events in pub function rooms etc all the time without anything happening to them. When I was 14 my best friend came to my sister’s wedding reception in the evening so I had someone my own age around to keep me company.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 22:49

It's a family event and the pub will be being extra hot on alcohol etc because of their licence and not wanting to alienate families in the future

It's not a nightclub or some seedy backstreet pub

She's 14

Relax

ByeChristmas · 30/12/2025 22:49

Message or better than that, talk to the other parents and measure their response about keeping an eye on dd. At that age I’m sure she’s no trouble!

Then maybe check in every half hour with dd and if she doesn’t respond tell her you’ll turn up! All being well collect her at 12.30?

Even better, can you also go with a mate?

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 30/12/2025 22:48

I think she'll be fine. Let her go and have a fun time with her friend. Her friend's parents will keep an eye on them, as will otherpeoplein the pub. NYE is usually the safest night because its all ticketed these days.

Look, if you were out on NYE and you saw some young teen girls getting pestered, you'd tell the pesterer to fuck off, wouldn't you? Most people are decent and will step in to protect kids.

Hope you feel better soon.

TheRocksStoppedRolling · 30/12/2025 22:44

When you say she’s not bad with alcohol, do you mean she drinks?

DelilahBucket · 30/12/2025 22:44

What are you concerned about here? We took DS's friend out with us for New Year's last year. He stayed at ours afterwards. We had a fantastic night in the local pub together. We sat and played board games and laughed and danced and sang. Him and DS are under 18, no alcohol was given to them, but it was good for them to get out, do something different and not be attached to phones all night.

Do you not know the parents of the friend? We are good friends with the parents of this friend of DS's so they knew he was in safe hands.