Who gets the blow up bed?

Why keep stating dsd is a guest? She's faaaamily and they should be mucking in together
.. We sometimes holiday with dd 30 oddyo sharing a room with a primary school sibling. Of the opposite gender!
No airs and graces here...

DH has said she could have the bed and my daughter had to sleep downstairs as her boyfriend wasn’t really welcome anyway and certainly not if it meant his daughter wouldn’t come.

If he was my step-dad, I would make him happy and never bother seeing him again to be honest. Normal people would treat friends, not even family members, but friends better than that.

I agree. There's some weird hierarchical shit going on here.🤯

I come from a big family who often experienced bed shortages during celebrations and holidays. Stronger, fitter ones take the blow-up, floor, sofa, sleeping bags in the awning🙈 etc.

YABU @FunAquaExpert.

What’s SDs plan for when her baby gets up presumably early but someone’s sleeping in the living space? If they stay in their room till everyone’s up then I think perhaps your daughter could take the airbed. If she’s assuming she gets the living space as well then she should take that.

but really I think as others have said you should offer her the master and take the airbed the. When grandchild gets up swap so you go get a couple more hours in a proper bed and she gets the living space.

If the sd was an adult when you got together and your daughter was 5 when she had to give up her bed, that would make your sd around 40? I would expect my 18 year old daughter to give up her bed for 1 night especially with a young baby. Also, her screaming is very loaded. Suggesting she stays at a premier inn probably makes her feel unwanted in her dad's home. The whole tale makes the sd sound unwanted imo.

Is there space for travel cot in one of the rooms? So SD, husband and baby share a room.
Presume there is a desk or other furniture in the study - could this be moved to make room for double airbed (for son and his gf for a change maybe)?

Why did your husband say that your daughter's boyfriend 'wasn't welcome anyway'? What's that about?

You've had 13 years to sort this. It would be nice if you'd converted another room or done something earlier. However it sounds like stepdaughter has always been able to pull rank and now the baby is the given reason, when it's never really been about that.

I think this as crap from everyone. Fighting about bedrooms for one night over Christmas if it means family are together? Honestly?

If this was my family we would all agree together, or draw straws or take it in turns or give it to the person with most need (baby).

No one is covered in glory here and frankly a lot of selfish behaviour is coming through.

I note this as well. Nobody drags the son into drama, tries to make him give up his bed and sleep in the public area or makes him the centre of an argument.

If you and DH don’t want to do the blow up bed as hosts then you both need to come up with a family policy and stick to it.

Barring any actual medical problems:

Deciding accommodation at the same time you either gave the kids ‘take turns’ or draw lots. To make it fairer if you had the blow up last time you don’t have to be in the draw this time.

But in your current scenario it’s a first come first served scenario. If you decide to come at the last minute then you get what’s left.

Sounds like she’s given it up for 13 years already

Actually why can’t the DSD and her DH and baby sleep together in one of the bedrooms and DD has an airbed in the study so doesn’t get woken up.

At no point has the son & gf been asked to sleep on airbed….

For the sake of family harmony I would have seen if either your DS and his partner or DD fancied a free night in the Premier Inn with breakfast thrown in to sweeten the deal.
I mean no one has really covered themselves in glory here and I can see why both your DD and DSD have taken the stance that they did.

Don't quite get the whole "mum gets a decent bed" thing. I'm in my thirties and have given up my bed for guests and been on a blow up bed in baby's room a few times, so unless there's a post partum back issue I can't see why the air bed is such an issue. It's really no massive hardship. For equality sake I would say the OP and husband go on blow up bed, or as they are last to agree to come then husband's daughter should. Can't really see what all the fuss is about to be honest!

Were I the host, I would take the airbed and give the good beds to my guests.

The only other alternative that I, as host, would consider: first come first served. I have two confirmed guests, they get the other two rooms, the Johnny-come-lately gets the airbed.

Fittest, most able person takes the blow-up.

It is preposterous to suggest your SD and her baby sleep there!🤯

His DD is a spoiled brat and he keeps feeding it in by accommodating her demands like she’s a queen. Absolutely ridiculous and he’d be an ex-husband soon to me. I’d tell them to duck off and would spend NYE with my children very far away from them and their drama.

Beds were ‘booked’ if she wants to stay she needs to fit in.

I’d put the baby in one of the double rooms with its parents. Your DD and her boyfriend can squash in the study on an airbed/nest arrangement. Or make her and her brother draw lots for squashing in study.

I think the baby is in a travel cot in the study

If people are screaming at each other and then getting in strops and deciding not to go, then this is obviously about more than one night on a blow up bed.

Which by the way I think you and DH should take if everyone else is a guest.

Another vote for you and H on the blow up bed. Best way to make it fair and welcoming for all the guests!

Struggle to believe she was “screaming” down the phone, that’s a very loaded statement

This.