Comments at Christmas cause I choose to carry on riding whilst pregnant

It’s a horse you know well, so keep going for as long as you’re comfortable. Life is full of risks - cars, stairs, etc. It will keep you fit, good for pelvic floor!

I rode till 7 months with first but weirdly didn’t want to at all with second. You would get more balanced responses in The Tack room.

I don't know anything about horse riding but you do. You are best placed to decide what is best for you. I was judged for carrying on with a sport that some would consider high risk when I was pregnant by ignorant people who themselves were taking far more risks with their children's lives than I was. In my experience many people fail to understand risk assessment and choose to judge others instead.

I cycled until it was physically impossible, about 5 months, mostly on the road during rush hour. My doctor was very supportive - even if you do fall off your baby is very well protected in those first months. You do you!

It's one that EVERYONE feels entitled to an opinion on unfortunately . I was lucky that those that mattered supported me. Like you I carried on riding up until 6 months (getting on and off was hard work after that and the only reason I stopped!) Like you, I only rode my horse and gentle hacking, no open fields , jumping etc . I actually felt like she looked after me more than usual and was foot perfect. It's a high risk sport whether you have a passenger or not (so is walking down the street depending on where you live! ) so ignore them, it's your choice and if your husband supports you in your choice, other opinions don't matter !

Ok that's fine but if the worst we're to happen and there was a miscarriage or something were to happen to the baby, and the husband wasn't happy with her riding it may be difficult to continue the relationship if there was resentment there. I personally wouldn't be riding if my partner or husband wasn't 💯 behind me.

If this conversation hadn’t been about the riding, it could just have easily been about your food choices (brie, pate, wine, etc) or any number of other things, OP.

As Kayoh says, you will be judged for everything anyway, so the fact it was about riding this time is a bit of a red herring.

That said, be prepared for the next phase of objections to be around your child riding in the future, as it sounds like that’s going to raise similar objections.

I would focus on making sure you and DH are firmly on the same page, as it will be largely up to him to manage his family’s involvement, and the current conversation has provided a useful outline of how future issues are likely to be addressed by them.

It also seems quite positive that MIL sat on the fence, especially if that’s unusual for her, so it sounds like she appreciates that it’s not her place to dictate your behaviour (at least publicly). She might also have felt guilty if she’s the one who told everyone else you planned to continue riding and inadvertently put you in that awkward situation. Obviously it would have been lovely if she had shut the conversation down or defended you, but the fact she kept quiet sounds somewhat positive under the circumstances.

I did carry on riding in the dim and distant past with both my children. Until quite late too - around 7 months. So I do understand

I had no issues, all went fine . But if I’m totally honest, I shouldn’t have taken the risk. With hindsight I would make different choices now

I didn’t ride after about 16 weeks when the pelvis stops protecting the uterus to a degree. Didn’t think to until an instructor warned me against it having had a fall and lost a pregnancy herself. After no 1 baby I couldn’t afford a horse anyway so wasn’t an issue 😂

@vickylou78

no. It’s OP’s body, not his. He can give an opinion, but the final say lies with Op.

I think the in-laws are just concerned for the baby. Ultimately it's up to you, but it is a risk of falling. it's you and your baby that you are subjecting to the risk to, so your husband should have a say in it perhaps. If he is happy go for it.

I wouldn't say anything but internally I'd be doubting your ability to make wise choices. .

They should have kept their comments to themselves. You know your body and your horse. At some point it will likely feel too uncomfortable to ride and you will know when to stop for a while.

Your family are just worried about potential harm to you or your baby. I would be worried too as a parent as it would be something I couldn’t keep you safe from.

However, so long as you are constantly risk assessing how your body feels, the horse and your riding area the risk will be low. Just don’t be stubborn about it to prove a point to them!

So all pregnant women should never go anywhere or do anything because "all sort of shit happens"

Main problem I had after I had my baby was that on some levels I’d lost my nerve - worried about being incapacitated with a baby to look after. I got over it to some degree but as you get older you just don’t bounce the same 😂

If you were a friend or relative of mine, I’d be concerned. That’s largely because I don’t trust horses at all due to my own past experience with them, which I realise is my problem and not yours.

That being said, I would probably raise my concerns with you once and leave it at that. As you say, you are an adult and capable of assessing your own risk. I think it’s fine to politely tell the ILs that it’s not up for discussion and refuse to engage further on the topic.

I cannot bare people who don't live their life to the fullest. Imagine living a 2/10 life then popping your clogs just before retirement because you worried about risk

You’ve deliberately left the rest of my post out.
I stand by the fact that proper riding requires a decent level of fitness and sitting on a horse a few times doesn’t give you any idea of what proper riding is like from an exercise point of view.

I will agree with you though that a lot of what you see out and about doesn’t show us in a very good light 😅

There seems to be a lot of people saying they were totally fine. Sounds a bit like “survivor bias”.
You could do everything right. Your horse could do everything right. Then something you can’t predict happens, horse freaks out and you are on the floor.

We all are in charge of our own decisions. But if I was confident in mine, I wouldn’t be online asking if I was being unreasonable . Makes me think , deep down, you know you might be.

Since lots of people are using the motorbike thing in this thread I feel I've got to point out you're more likely to be seriously injured or killed riding a horse statistically than riding a motorcycle.

You've got to make your own decisions about your own risks.

'And top level riders have to be insanely fit."

We aren't talking about top level riders we're talking about people who take their huge, unpredictable 'massive twat' of a horse for a trot about and think it constitutes exercise.

I'd ask them if they expect you to give up riding once the baby is born as well just in case something happened.

I wanted to carry on riding when I was pregnant but had hyperemesis which was pretty debilitating. So if you're able to carry on being active then make the most of it. You will know when it's time to have a break.

Balls - I rode when pregnant until I lost my centre of gravity and couldn’t bend over to get off easily. If your body is used to riding and your horse is a saint then carry on. I was also lugging soaked haynets and mucking out until my waters broke. Get some good and comfy stretchy maternity jeans 👍

I wouldn't but saying that I don't really know a lot about horses. I've only really seen Facebook videos of people riding them and cars going past them too fast and spooking the horses, then the riders shouting. I'm not sure why I watch these. I suppose I wouldn't rid a motorbike, bike or climb a ladder when I was pregnant as there's a small risk that I would fall so I doubt I would ride a horse either.