Page 4 | To go on holiday without him?

Flymeaway5 · 2025-12-30T16:12:54+00:00

I work for an airline, so we get our flights cheap and its saved us a tonne of money over the years. On the downside, we only get on if there's space, so holidays need to be planned quite last minute, need a bit of flexibility etc. I've been planning for us to go away after Christmas for a week, about the busiest time of year. Was planning the far east, but the flight got full last minute, so I've been scrambling to find an alternative. It's taken hours of research (flights, flights with onward connections, hotels etc), all whilst packing for me and kids. Now husband says he won't go. He says it's been postponed too much, he doesn't want more than 1 flight and he won't go all that way unless it's in business class (we'd be in premium economy I think). I'm livid. He does no work towards planning and packing whatsoever, so cancelling means nothing to him. Shall I just go without him? Means a holiday just me and 3 kids.

EdgeOfThirtySeven · 30/12/2025 20:44

I'm stressed just reading about it all.

Clearinguptheclutter · 30/12/2025 20:43

Your dh is being annoying but no way I’d fancy a long haul flight for just a week with three such young children. I’d keep the long haul for when I could go for at least 12ish days

Would a week in the canaries not be a better plan?

even if your kids are good fliers, are they good with jet lag too? I doubt it.

Mrsclausemunchingonamincepie · 30/12/2025 20:40

You'd rather waste 3k than manage 3 dc alone?
Wow.

HoskinsChoice · 30/12/2025 20:38

Flymeaway5 · 30/12/2025 20:24

We're very used to flying/airports. I do it for a living, kids (baby excluded) have done several long and short haul flights already and loved it. I do understand its not so easy if you're not used to it though.

We've been very lucky to have had business on all those flights though (except 1 and it was daytime and only middle east). I was looking at connecting flights to get the longer stretch in business, but he didn't want to do that. I've found direct flights with space, but only (!) in premium economy and back a day later, so we may get a fine from school. He still doesn't like that either.

You're right, he is being a spoiled brat and now we're all missing out. I'm so mad

You could have got on a plane every day of your life but it doesn't make the plane go faster. A long haul flight for 7 days is crackers. Put your kids first, take them somewhere local where they're not stuck on a plane for hours on end.

AnneKipankitoo · 30/12/2025 20:37

Is there only one school age child?
This is not going to get easier.

Original poster

Flymeaway5 · 30/12/2025 20:35

What's stressy about a week in the sun, all inclusive, flying premium economy direct each way?! He does nothing to help plan it either, I do it all and pack it all, he just hand me a pile of his clothes.

And even if it is and i just don't get stressed by that the same way he does, then why wait til I've spent hours researching and more hours packing to tell me that?! Bags are currently still all packed, as I can't face unpacking them now.

OP posts:

EdgeOfThirtySeven · 30/12/2025 20:25

Flymeaway5 · 30/12/2025 20:24

We're very used to flying/airports. I do it for a living, kids (baby excluded) have done several long and short haul flights already and loved it. I do understand its not so easy if you're not used to it though.

We've been very lucky to have had business on all those flights though (except 1 and it was daytime and only middle east). I was looking at connecting flights to get the longer stretch in business, but he didn't want to do that. I've found direct flights with space, but only (!) in premium economy and back a day later, so we may get a fine from school. He still doesn't like that either.

You're right, he is being a spoiled brat and now we're all missing out. I'm so mad

The more you write, the more I agree with your husband.

Original poster

Flymeaway5 · 30/12/2025 20:24

We're very used to flying/airports. I do it for a living, kids (baby excluded) have done several long and short haul flights already and loved it. I do understand its not so easy if you're not used to it though.

We've been very lucky to have had business on all those flights though (except 1 and it was daytime and only middle east). I was looking at connecting flights to get the longer stretch in business, but he didn't want to do that. I've found direct flights with space, but only (!) in premium economy and back a day later, so we may get a fine from school. He still doesn't like that either.

You're right, he is being a spoiled brat and now we're all missing out. I'm so mad

OP posts:

EdgeOfThirtySeven · 30/12/2025 20:24

I'm Team Husband. This all sounded very stressy, before you even mentioned the number and ages of your children.

Heronwatcher · 30/12/2025 20:21

Honestly I know I was joking, but why can’t you go somewhere in the UK?

I’m desperate to go to the Cairngorms and there are some lovely family friendly hotels there, plus a reindeer herd, mountain railway, winter sports, swimming in heated pools etc. Or somewhere like Crieff hydro?

www.britanniahotels.com/hotels/coylumbridge-hotel-aviemore?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Accord_Search_Keyword_Coylumbridge%20Aviemore%20Hotel%20-%20EXACT_NA&utm_id=1668012137&utm_term=britannia%20coylumbridge&utm_content=64033267665&utm_source_platform=Google+Ads&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=1668012137&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0oK1lZHmkQMV7JFQBh3tCBZHEAAYAiAAEgIBBfD_BwE

Or what about Center Parcs for a midweek break or a long weekend (you actually get nigh on 4 days if you book a long weekend as you can arrive early on Friday and leave mid-afternoon on Mondsy). Lovely winter lights, brilliant kids activities and crèche, pool and prices drop like a stone once the schools are back. I thought I’d hate it but we had some of the best holidays there when my kids were similar ages.

https://www.centerparcs.co.uk/breaks-we-offer/search.html/2/WF,LF/12-01-2026/4/-/-/2/2/0/2/1/0/N

Honestly, it was a very toxic trait my dad had- spoiling most holidays (until my mum divorced him). Giving your DH the benefit of the doubt, maybe he just couldn’t face the flights or deal with the chopping and changing. Still, no reason to give up completely.

Search | Center Parcs

https://www.centerparcs.co.uk/breaks-we-offer/search.html/2/WF,LF/12-01-2026/4/-/-/2/2/0/2/1/0/N

SunnySideDeepDown · 30/12/2025 20:19

You must have more energy than me OP. Three young children and wanting a long haul holiday straight after Christmas (and all the prep and work that goes into December!).

I just want to collapse on the sofa. I trip to Mexico doesn’t sound relaxing to me with 3 kids. Long flight, disrupted bedtimes, no home comforts, days in and out of pools. No thanks (yes I realise I’m a miserable git but I also have three young kids and I’m on my knees).

Could It be that you’re feeling more up for it as you’re on mat leave, and husband is working and just wants to chill?

SunnySideDeepDown · 30/12/2025 20:13

ArseSkinForAFriend · 30/12/2025 16:14

I don't blame either of you.

I wouldn't want all that fannying around and disappointment, and also don't fancy a long flight to the far East.

But if you and the kids do, just go and have a fantastic time.

Exactly this. I would hate that last minute anxiety after a busy Christmas. But equally wouldn’t blame you to go alone.

YABU to expect him to go though.

MiniCoopers · 30/12/2025 20:11

Wow he’s being a bit of a brat isn’t he! Mexico with 3 kids isn’t the end of the world and shocker he won’t do less than business. Go with the 3 kids, I have a feeling they’ll do better without him there

Christmaseree · 30/12/2025 20:11

Fends · 30/12/2025 19:58

Erm, why wouldn’t she?

OP tell the selfish prick to get his head out of his arse and that he’s been outvoted

Show quote history

Because there are lots of direct flights to Mexico.

Purplewarrior · 30/12/2025 20:04

Is there anyone else who could go with you? Someone who would help with the DC in exchange for a very cheap holiday?

I would be tempted to go alone…

HoskinsChoice · 30/12/2025 20:03

The Far East. For 7 days. With 3 children under 5. That is absolutely insane!

Even without the kids, a week in the Far East is crackers. I sometimes wonder if it's worth going to Cornwall for just 7 days let alone for a longhaul holiday.

Fends · 30/12/2025 19:58

Christmaseree · 30/12/2025 19:41

Why would you need two flights there?

Show quote history

Erm, why wouldn’t she?

OP tell the selfish prick to get his head out of his arse and that he’s been outvoted

Christmaseree · 30/12/2025 19:41

Flymeaway5 · 30/12/2025 16:30

His plan is to stay at home now.

My alternative is Mexico, all inclusive, as easy as it could be really.

Why would you need two flights there?

Original poster

Flymeaway5 · 30/12/2025 19:28

Can't go alone, I couldn't do that to the kids. Youngest is exclusively breastfed and eldest keep asking when they're going to the beach, I can't tell them I'm going without them!

I'm in an impossible situation now though. I'm in foul mood with him for spoiling it all, and even if I persuade him to go I'll just be mad at him abroad instead (and £3k poorer for it)

I'm just so mad and disappointed.

OP posts:

RecordBreakers · 30/12/2025 18:14

I agree with the first three posts.

I wouldn't want to go in those circumstances either.
I like to know where I'm going, and enjoy looking forward to it.

Kids aren't at an easy age (5, 3 and 3 months),

No, with those ages, I wouldn't want to fly at all.
Let alone long haul.
Even more so with having to change flights.

I'm with your dh here. this doesn't sound relaxing in the slightest.

Equally, I don't think anyone is unreasonable to go on holiday without their spouse, if both parties are happy with it, so technically, to answer you question, you wouldn't be unreasonable to go on your own if he didn't want to, but I think you'd be completely bonkers to take 3dc on that journey at all, let alone solo.

Livpool · 30/12/2025 17:44

Go and leave him with the kids

Onelifeonly · 30/12/2025 17:25

I'd be annoyed but I wouldn't go alone with 3 such young children. Would they really appreciate it anyway at those ages?

Christmaseree · 30/12/2025 17:24

Fupoffyagrasshole · 30/12/2025 17:00

Of course you can op!

do it.

i flew to Thailand with a 4 month old and 3 year old - I was on maternity leave and wanted to travel for a few months - my husband could only join for 1 month!

so off we went.

it wasn’t easy but I did it and people were helpful.

i was just super organised - baby in carrier all the time. Had a small yoyo buggy - 3 year old could use it too when tired legs happened a lot and getting through airport (also brought a buggy board) although I never ended up using this really as it was too hard with the bad paths and being on the beach a lot.

baby super easy this age and the other 2 will have a blast being away.

where are you going??

Show quote history

I think keeping the DC safe in the swimming pool would be very difficult.

Daytimetellyqueen · 30/12/2025 17:18

vanillalattes · 30/12/2025 16:59

Go on your own and leave him with the kids.

This!

Fupoffyagrasshole · 30/12/2025 17:00

Flymeaway5 · 30/12/2025 16:53

Part of me would love to. Other part is realistic enough to realise it'll be no fun with 3 young kids alone anyway. They're 5, 3 and a baby, so I can't even get them, all the luggage and a pushchair through the airport alone!

Of course you can op!

do it.

i flew to Thailand with a 4 month old and 3 year old - I was on maternity leave and wanted to travel for a few months - my husband could only join for 1 month!

so off we went.

it wasn’t easy but I did it and people were helpful.

i was just super organised - baby in carrier all the time. Had a small yoyo buggy - 3 year old could use it too when tired legs happened a lot and getting through airport (also brought a buggy board) although I never ended up using this really as it was too hard with the bad paths and being on the beach a lot.

baby super easy this age and the other 2 will have a blast being away.

where are you going??