Worried about the man I’ve been seeing

No it's absolutely not unreasonable to do this for a man you've been with for a year and a half. I'd be driving up there to find out if he's OK. My husband lived in Scotland when we met as he's from there. We couldn't be apart and I moved there to be with him shortly after we got together. If it turns out your man is ok, I'd consider someone else as this all seems a bit too vague for a serious relationship and who can be arsed with all that?

When are you due back there?

lol. There really isn’t. When i was younger and going through all my relationship trials and tribulations i always said to myself this will get easier as i get older as we all start to mature and have our shit together…I was soooo wrong and I actually think it’s worse! lol

Thats why I don’t even bother with men my age or older because you still get all the nonsense and immaturity of a man half their age but without the stamina/energy, style/dress sense, good looks, body, and zest for life/travelling that matches my energy.

I’d rather just date younger, lol ( unless it’s Brad Pitt, Keanu reeves, Michael Ealy and any of the Wayans brothers 🤭)

I know how you feel, when your longing to hear from someone you care about and have feelings for, but do not message that woman, you will regret it. Maybe he is not interested anymore or maybe he is feeling down or just busy. Give it time you will find out eventually, best of luck.

Why are so many people suddenly piping up to tell the op to do what she has already done?
Have you all just come in on a bus from yesterday and read one post then commented?

Is anyone else thinking he may have a health issue/ worry/ diagnosis he is struggling to deal with?

Just give his message the thumbs up and leave it at that.

Yeah.

for several days…the battery wouldn’t have lasted so much…no?

I would air on the “he ghost you”…but you also he isn’t great communicator when apart so he might just be himself and think it is fine to ignore…

Onwards and upwards OP, to be honest, long distance relationships rarely work, seems like u were putting more effort into it than he was.

New Year, New You 💖

What an asshole. Ghosting at this age. Disappointing rather than surprising sadly.

I think older men are quite happy in their own company, especially with occasional sex. They are well used to and prefer living by themselves and not answering to anybody.

The lack of manners in not replying to a concerned text is what would irritate me the most.

You are a lovely person.

What a shame he couldn’t have told you that he would like a break in communicating as he wanted some space etc.

I would now block him in case he does in the future want to pick things back up again.

How sure are you that he's single, if you only see him every other week, and there's no chance of anyone you know seeing him as he's 2 hrs away?

Leave him be. If he hasn't replied by Friday, send 1 more text, then drop him.

I'd ask the person who does the hobby whether he showed up. If not I'd send a message that you are very concerned and will be asking the Police to do the welfare check. After 17 months, I reckon you would have had an inkling if he were ghosting you.

Sorry

He didn’t ’forget’ your birthday op, he just avoided it. This guy sounds extremely similar to a guy I once dated.

You need to google ‘dismissive avoidant’ and have a good read because it sounds like he has very similar issues and doesn’t like commitment hence why you’re only FWB and long distance- it’s very common for these people to have long distance relationships and only want FWB
Just disappearing and not replying to all your messages when he’s alive and well is a form of stonewalling and control. You say he sometimes takes a few days to respond to messages? He’s avoiding you! Nobody takes days to respond! If you take him back things will only go downhill from here.

"See All" for OP's posts is your friend here

Absolute tool.

I was once ghosted by a man I had been seeing for about 4 months. He was supposed to come for dinner and didn’t, and then ignored my messages for weeks, before sending a reply that basically said, I wasn’t feeling good mentally, I didn’t know what to say so typical me, I said nothing. I wish you luck going forward.

I ignored him and moved on. About 2 years later he started messaging again, about our shared hobby. I was friendly but resisted all his pleas to meet up. Over months and months. He was constantly suggesting dates, weekends away. I said no, over and over again. Then finally gave in. Met up once and from that date spent all our free time together doing our shared hobby. Spoke to each other 5 or 6 times a day. Really intense. And then he did the same thing again. Just vanished.

Delete his number and never look back. The mental health struggle of my ex was real but I got stuck on him for so long.

That was brilliant that you erred on the side of caution. Very sensible.

I think one of you just needs to spell out that it's over now.

Sorry he’s acted like this. Especially at his age. Was he loving and telling you he loved you in person?

This looks like class avoidance. It can really mess with you so I’m happy you’ve just extracted yourself.

He's a manchild. Onwards and upwards OP. Have a wonderful 2026 🌺

If you normally do a hobby together today, I would drive up and see him in person x

He doesn't deserve yoi OP! Onwards and upwards!