Nosey elderly parents is embarrassing

I used to take my late mum shopping to a large supermarket every Friday. I never knew what would come out of her mouth, the insults and remarks about people were awful. I told her but she just didn’t care. She was always like it but got worse the older she got. I used to apologise on her behalf and then she got angry with me for doing so.

Personally can not stand people like your parents! What think gives them the right? Why do they think they are such perfection. It's not an age thing, some people just love making others uncomfortable. No one gives a shit.about her opinion, tell her to write it down and burn it, that's all her opinions worth tbh

I definately think this is true. One of my parents could make comments like, "Look at her hair, it's shaved at the back, and all of those tattoos, that is rough and manly." That was in a supermarket, if the ground could swallow me up.

It's also just a personality trait for some people. My dad has always done this, but he is louder and gives less of a shit now he's old.

My 95 year old father in law was the same. Called women fat, ugly, made racist comments on rare occasions too. Someone else has said, it's like the filter breaks as get older. I remember one racist comment aimed at his neighbour a few doors down (just as we were leaving after a visit and was late at night), my partner ran back into the house mortified and I said in a loud voice that he will get his head kicked in one day with disgusting comments like that. Ugh.

I remember meeting my late dads new g/f (in her 70's) in pub for lunch. Went on about women's lib, about Israel had first women's army etc, then when we left, a lady of about 50 years old walked past us. My dads g/f made a comment loudly about someone her age shouldn't be in skinny jeans. I just asked her where all the women's lib she was just spouting went and why is she judging another lady on her looks (who looked utterly fab btw)? I think was jealousy.

It seems that, as some people get older, their filters get more porous. I noticed it with my late mother, less so with my father.

Horrible judgemental woman. Sounds like my mother. No one who is happy in themself would sit around doing this!
Pull her up on it each and every time. Hate to think what she’s saying about You behind your back too.

Or stop being so bloody rude and ignorant ,you're making a fool of yourself

We had a rule with my mother, "think it, don't say it".

MIL (72) does this.
"She is huge!"
"Those trousers do nothing for her."
"His haircut is very unflattering."
I try and change the subject.

if you can, it may be worth getting her checked by a GP in case it is dementia, etc.
I do not need to tell you she is putting herself in danger; the way things are these days, some may laugh at this, but other people may retaliate and take things into their own hands.

My DM ... 80yrs old has definitely lost some of her "social etiquette" as she has aged.

She absolutely doesn't mean to be rude but where we would give a quick glance at someone and be able to take in all the information quickly ie size, clothing etc.... Mum's processing is now a lot slower so it looks like she staring at them.

Still embarrassing though!!

Your comment 'she's a big girl' reminded me of being sat behind two women on a plane. One of them said to the other 'she's a big girl' about a member of the cabin crew, so often I started counting.
I got to 35 times before I started wanting to scream with frustration and tell her to shut the fuck up😑

Sounds like there's a lot of it about. My mum was similar, and would speculate audibly as to how the person might have got to be the size they are/why they might be dressed the way they are/why the child is misbehaving in a public place. I'm not sure what age it started, but I first noticed it on a family holiday when she was in her early forties and dubbed an elderly couple in the same hotel "The Eating Machines". She lived another 40+ years without developing dementia and without anyone thumping her for being rude.

Unfortunately they often feel entitled to be rude and care little about feelings of others

Nothing wrong with people watching. It's the broadcasting of the hideous commentary that's the problem. Obviously.

But to openly make derogatory comments about someone just minding their own business is something else, no?

You may think it, doesn’t mean you say it, it’s embarrassing for others in their company.

My DM has always done this but it has definitely got worse as she has got older and she doesn't seem to realise how loudly she is speaking. I also think she must get a magnifying glass out to scrutinise photos on social media as she will comment on tiny details that no one else would notice!

It is an early sign of dementia

My gran does exactly the same. For your own blood pressure never take her to a carvery or any type of fill your plate yourself meal unless you want to spend it cringing as people glare at you due to her foghorn running commentary on exactly how much is on their plates and how that tallies with their body type.

My gran used to do this, with the loudest stage whisper ever. It was mortifying though occasionally amusing. My mum (her DD) was always getting annoyed at her for it but now she’s started doing it too!

It’s very rude and embarrassing for you, and you defo shud ask her to stop doing it for these reasons, but also try not to worry too much because we all know old people can go a bit bonkers and most people won’t take it to heart if they hear it.

It’s almost like they revert back to toddlers, saying any old thing that comes into their head about a person without considering their feelings.

Maybe she’s also starting to get dementia as others have said. You could always start saying loudly “Sorry about her, she’s got dementia and has no filter or awareness of others’ feelings”. Embarrassing to her if it’s not, and maybe enough to make her realise what she’s doing.

They do also make T-shirts with “Sorry about her” and an arrow on them! Be sure to sit her the right side of the arrow!

If this is really how you do people watching, you’re doing it wrong.