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Original poster

Sister is angry over a car

285 replies

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:35

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

OP posts:
SunnyViper · 30/12/2025 09:14

What utter batshit. Sounds like you are better off with her out of your life. I wouldn’t tolerate any level of that entitled behaviour.

NearlyMonday · 30/12/2025 09:09

Blaming the menopause gives her a get-out clause for atrocious behaviour

Thatweegirl · 30/12/2025 09:04

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:51

She has a very comfortable life, she’s always had the best of everything and I’m thinking maybe she doesn’t like the fact we can afford the same as her? She’s always liked being above everyone. Never really bought the same as her before, there is 10 years between us so almost always been at different stages in life!

Bingo! I would bet anything that this is the issue.
I have a sister who has pulled similar stunts and everyone panders to her. It's like her moods control the whole family.

I strongly suspect Narcissistic personality disorder with her and have learned to keep my distance, and pass myself with her.

I would strongly recommend that you try to do the same OP. Most likely she will eventually decide that she 'forgives you' and all will be well again until the next time. Because there will be a next time.

If she is anything like my sister she thrives on the attention and the drama, so don't give it to her.

It seems batshit crazy to people who don't have someone like this in their family. And in fairness it is!

HectorPlasm · 30/12/2025 08:58

To echo what people have said, you can't argue with loopy. What does she add to your life?

ReallyNeedtoGetSh1TSorted2026 · 30/12/2025 08:56

Members of your family should love you, and should have higher standards of behaviour when it comes to their own family.

My SIL bought the same car as me. I give no shits.

Stop spending energy trying to fix this, you are feeding the narcissist. Just ignore her, and spend your energy on you and your DC. Have a great life and let her boil in her own broth.

Tollington · 30/12/2025 08:52

I’d just forget her. Your DH apologising is crazy

She sounds unhinged

Siriusmuggle · 30/12/2025 08:47

That’s nuts. My niece bought the same car as me, I can’t explain how little it matters. We both chose a sensible and reliable car that suits our needs.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 30/12/2025 08:44

Send her stats on car sales with the stats relating to this particular car highlighted.

WonderingWanda · 30/12/2025 08:43

I just wanted to add to the long list of people agreeing that your sister is entirely unreasonable (and maybe a bit crackers). Your dh did nothing wrong in buying the same car. Do not under any circumstances apologise to her. Feel free to send her a letter letting her know how disappointed you are that she has chosen to create a childish feud out of nothing but that it is her loss as she is missing out on meeting her nephew.

liamharha · 30/12/2025 08:42

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:51

She has a very comfortable life, she’s always had the best of everything and I’m thinking maybe she doesn’t like the fact we can afford the same as her? She’s always liked being above everyone. Never really bought the same as her before, there is 10 years between us so almost always been at different stages in life!

She's a lunatic ,noone needs this in their lives .
Leave her to it ,she will end a lonely old woman if she carries on with such ridiculousness and your family should be telling her to give her head a wobble

Noshadelamp · 30/12/2025 08:41

Even if it was your car or your decision, why would you need to apologise? I don't understand why your DH apologised, there's nothing to apologise for.

User8008135 · 30/12/2025 08:41

She's got issues, big time. Your family and you need to stop pandering too her, you've done nothing to upset or annoy- aside from existing!

A flat response to x is still really PO would be 'i have nothing to apologise for, that's just ridiculous. Oh well.' And move on.

OrdinaryGirl · 30/12/2025 08:38

‘The issue’ is never the issue.
People act in ways that make sense to them. I wonder what is this really about?

DBD1975 · 30/12/2025 08:38

OP I don't think this has anything to do with the car really.
I think you will find it is probably many, many years of micro resentments which have built up over time and the car is just an excuse for how your sister really feels towards you.
I am in a similar situation OP with my sister and it is heartbreaking. I have realised she really doesn't like me very much, with resentment going back to over 40 years ago.
It is hard but I have found it impossible to deal with very unreasonable and irrational behaviour.
I am going to have one last attempt to resolve the situation and if it doesn't work, I will continue to live my life lovingly and kindly towards her but I have no control over how she does or doesn't respond.
Good luck with this OP my heart goes out to you 💜.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 30/12/2025 08:37

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:44

She has ignored me on the occasion I sent the scan photo (I thought it was going to be an ice breaker so we could talk about it ) and another occasion after that my husband contacted her husband and he was told he couldn’t reply because he wasn’t allowed to. Family that have had a chat with her have told me that I have copied her and she doesn’t like being copied

Have the family members and her husband tried getting through to her that she is behaving like a total arsehole, and that no-one was copying her, least of all you? What is her response?

LozzaCh0ps · 30/12/2025 08:36

My mum’s sister is exactly like this. I’m 40 now and I don’t really know her or any of my cousins or their kids etc because she cuts people off for perceived slights. I think you can’t really ever win, you can apologise for this but something else will happen to start the cycle again.

Oldandgreyer · 30/12/2025 08:31

She is mad as a box of frogs.

Nod, smile and enjoy normal life without the fruit loops.

Couldyounot · 30/12/2025 08:29

She's off her head. Nothing you can do about that, sadly

Summerbay23 · 30/12/2025 08:29

Yup, agree that she is totally and utterly bonkers. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for so I’d just leave her to it.

Imdunfer · 30/12/2025 08:29

She doesn't sound like much of a loss, OP. She must be really hard work to be around even if she's not throwing a car tantrum. I think I'd leave things as they are.

JH0404 · 30/12/2025 08:25

This is mad! Why are your family taking her seriously? She needs to be mentally checked 😵‍💫

LemonLeaves · 30/12/2025 08:25

LovelyBitOfSquirrrel · 30/12/2025 08:23

Return the car for one in the exact same colour as hers.

You can’t reason with crazy.

Your user name reminded me that I was thinking of Friday Night Dinner when I first clicked on this thread. "My Mercedes!"

LovelyBitOfSquirrrel · 30/12/2025 08:23

Return the car for one in the exact same colour as hers.

You can’t reason with crazy.

ManyPigeons · 30/12/2025 08:23

She’s obviously nuts, let her stay away.

Mathsbabe · 30/12/2025 08:23

The car thing makes no sense. As PPs have said she can’t stand seeing you with your beautiful young family.