Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is angry over a car

285 replies

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:35

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

OP posts:
MrsChristmasHasResigned · 01/01/2026 12:23

Willyoujust · 01/01/2026 11:34

So no one else in the family is allowed to own a Range Rover because she has one? She sounds mentally unwell and needs help!!

Show quote history

This! Even if she had the right to be annoyed that you have the same sort of car (which she doesn't), the over reaction to it is a whole level of bat shittery in itself. You owe no apology to anyone, but she does to you for how she has behaved.

Isobel201 · 01/01/2026 12:22

LHP118 · 01/01/2026 11:44

There's more to this than just the car.
That's a definite.

Whether it's a life wobble (most likely), relationship issues, sibling rivalry or more. There will be layers to this (ref. Onion. Shrek).

my thoughts exactly, why go crazy over a car?

Jennaxoxox · 01/01/2026 12:17

My sil is like this to the point I dont ever want to go to her house. If I cant see her shit, she cant accuse me of copying 🤣 she thinks she can gate keep colours it's that bad. God forbid i wear the same colour i last seen her in 🤣🤣🤣

LHP118 · 01/01/2026 12:01

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:44

She has ignored me on the occasion I sent the scan photo (I thought it was going to be an ice breaker so we could talk about it ) and another occasion after that my husband contacted her husband and he was told he couldn’t reply because he wasn’t allowed to. Family that have had a chat with her have told me that I have copied her and she doesn’t like being copied

Absolutely her problem. Not yours.

It sounds like you need to step back, live your life... Whether copying her or exceeding her perception of her life and your copying....and NOT ask after or try to engage with her either directly or indirectly.

She needs space. You're siblings and at some point ...it might take years (she's got to replace that car at some point, eh 😉?)....she will realise, and perhaps, she will reach out in her way and time.

Focus on yourself, your family, your husband, children.... I'd say learn to drive...that car! 😉😘🤩😍 You're missing a trick.

You be you. You live your life.
Don't let anyone tell you how you and your life should be. And what you should and shouldn't be doing.
Caveat: as long as it's not wilfully harming/hurting anyone else or illegal 😉

Spoiler alert: The car is available for too many people to buy. Sadly, your sister has likely copied someone else first.

Ava40 · 01/01/2026 11:50

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:35

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

What childish behaviour!

Marosanne · 01/01/2026 11:46

Honestly, I know know it hurts, but some people are just totally irrational and unbalanced and you can't reason with them. The fact that her husband does what he's told and "isn't allowed" to speak to you speaks volumes as to the ridiculous level of control she needs to exert. Try to forget about it and content yourself with your own lovely little family and those of your family members who are not raving lunatics (presumably they can see that she's being totally unreasonable?). Let her stew in her own juice, as the saying goes! She's actually the one who's missing out on all these lovely family moments.

LHP118 · 01/01/2026 11:44

There's more to this than just the car.
That's a definite.

Whether it's a life wobble (most likely), relationship issues, sibling rivalry or more. There will be layers to this (ref. Onion. Shrek).

Lainey1961 · 01/01/2026 11:37

Omg.. stay away. She needs help. Do not apologise. You have done nothing. Let her fet on with it...its her loss. Its pathetic. It sounds to me like pure jealousy.

Willyoujust · 01/01/2026 11:34

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 11:57

The car is a Range Rover! Hers is white, my husband’s is black!

So no one else in the family is allowed to own a Range Rover because she has one? She sounds mentally unwell and needs help!!

dazzlingdeborahrose · 01/01/2026 11:30

@Mon85You’ve hit the nail on the head when you say she doesn’t like that you can afford the same things she can. She’s been ‘alpha’ female and her self worth appears to be based on material status symbols. To you, it’s just a car. To her, it’s a mark of her superior social standing within the family. It’s sad that she’s taken this stance with you. Just step away and leave her be. Hopefully she’ll realise she’s being unreasonable.

miss79guided · 01/01/2026 11:14

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:35

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

Leave it with her, her loss
> Be better than you were
Star For a Day is waiting to welcome you to our state-of-the-art recording studio. If you love to sing or know someone who does, then book your experience now. Have you seen us on social media? Don’t just watch; it’s time to step up and become a star.
You can sing your favourite songs with one of our solo packages or join a group with our fabulous group singing experiences. With professional recording equipment, you can experience what it is like to be a recording artist and be a Star for a Day!
Get the photos, publish it in the local paper
(approx £100 (one hundred) all in for everybody to know you are a star
you will have fun doin it - the glory - it will be worth it - everybody will see you)

Mimzy26 · 01/01/2026 11:10

Cut the idiot off theres always one nutter in the family you dont need her

MyHardySwan · 01/01/2026 11:09

Sounds like she is trying to exert control over you OP, hoping youll chase contact especially as the reason is so bizarre! I'd leave her to it she does't sound like she will bring much joy into your life. Sometimes just no contact is best even if it is family. You have done nothing wrong this is a her problem!

Jonnybigwallet · 01/01/2026 11:07

What make and model of car is this please? Is it very special? EG High end Mercedes Jaguar etc?

LlynTegid · 01/01/2026 08:19

I still maintain a mental health issue that means unfitness to drive. Doubt the DVLA would act if they were advised though.

Mamabearandcubs · 01/01/2026 07:56

That is totally bonkers! I ‘copied’ my step dad’s car got the exact same model just different colours and his reaction was the total opposite came with me to pick one and showed me how everything worked in that model car. Your sisters reaction is very strange.

Zerosleep · 31/12/2025 23:37

Is she angry at everyone else on the planet who has bought the same car? She is a stupid bitch and you are better off without her. Never heard anything so ridiculous.

GrooveArmada · 31/12/2025 23:04

This has to be one of the most bonkers things I've read on MN. Sorry, OP. Leave her to it, I can't even find the words to describe how ridiculous this is if it really is over a car!

Even if she has a different reason it's totally unreasonable not to discuss it for such a long time.

CameltoeParkerBowles · 31/12/2025 23:02

Notmyreality · 30/12/2025 12:02

Oh you’ve done it now. MN hates RR’s. All the votes will change to YABU!

Show quote history

True. Range Rover drivers are often awful people. But that doesn't explain why your DSis resents your joining her club. She's clearly a nutcase.

Brefugee · 31/12/2025 22:59

she is being utterly pathetic and ridiculous, and so is everyone in your family, including her DH, who are pandering to this batshittery.

I am petty and vindictive. I would most definitely be copying her hairdo (wig?) clothing etc etc and turning up places i know she would be. Just for the shits and giggles.

Just laugh at her.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 31/12/2025 22:57

If she cares about what car you have, at all, we'll ... she's a twait. Ignore her, get on with your life

Pessismistic · 31/12/2025 21:26

Hi op this is about your baby not the car. Just leave her to it. She’s jealous of you.

Alconleigh · 31/12/2025 20:46

Somehow her having a white Range Rover was predictable from the beginning of this thread. It’s a clear marker of certain sort.

OneDaringLurker · 31/12/2025 20:34

Huge congrats on your ivf babies. That road is emotionally and financially draining. There is nothing left to figure out car wars!
Give those babies a hug and know you are right and let the rest get on with it!

Hopingtobeaparent · 31/12/2025 20:30

IridiumSky · 30/12/2025 14:08

But the husband didn’t buy a ‘a good reliable car’. He bought a Range Rover. 😂

This is obviously in the UK. My analysis is that the story is all about relative status signalling. It’s part of our culture, despite how much we pretend to believe otherwise, which is also part of the culture. 🙄

Range Rovers (although we don’t in this case know which model) are mid-range to high-end cars, which whilst not usually attaining Veblen status, do have an air of ‘success in life’ about them. They are also widely known to be unreliable and expensive to maintain - it needs money not only to buy, but also to maintain and to repair these cars.

Assuming this is about status, the sister is aggrieved that she has been matched by the OP. It’s poker. The sister will probably raise next year by buying a more expensive model. I hope none of the players in this dangerous game are doing it on expensive credit: that way madness lies.

But here’s the cultural kicker: to be openly aggrieved by this plants the sister firmly in a working class category, someone who is (ridiculously) using possessions to pretend to be of a higher status than she really is. I believe the term for such people (in pre-decimalisation days 😉) was ‘two bob snobs’.

Genuinely rich people would find the perceived ‘copying’ funny, or more likely not even notice: Range Rovers? Pah! Everyone has one.

Aren’t anonymous forums fun? This could never be discussed in real life. 😄

Show quote history

Also this! 😂

I’ve worked in the motor trade and wouldn’t touch JLR!