Sister is angry over a car

This reminds me of the business card comparison scene in American Psycho.

Your sister sounds disordered.

You are best off without this person, however I am so sorry to hear how she’s ignored your milestones. Congratulations on your baby!

Is the car unique in some way? A kit car or a special colour (sparkly yellow) or is it just a car?

She’s being absolutely pathetic. She’s not one of a kind though as I was chatting to a friend the other day who said they were getting a new car to her best friend. Best friend then told her if she got that car she wouldn’t speak to her again. Not joking, not tongue in cheek, completely for real! Absolutely mad as a box of frogs 🐸

Your OP says you only used to see her once a year anyway and live in totally different areas. Sounds as if your relationship was pretty distant in the first place?

Unless it’s a limited edition supercar, I trust she realises there will be hundreds of the same car as her on the road? Although in her defence, I doubt she speaks to most of them either 😬
She sounds a bit unhinged.

For the sake of the larger family, would it be worth reaching out to her? Maybe you could acknowledge her upset rather than saying you’re sorry for buying the car. Such as. I’m sorry you are feeling upset about us buying the car, there was no thought behind it apart from it being a great car. It would be lovely to see you in the new year.
for her to have such a strong reaction to the car tells me there is more to this. That maybe this is what you see from a bigger struggle for her. We develop our personalities through parenting and life experiences. People needing to be seen as having better things or more things than others shows an insecurity about their identity.

No loss.
I’d feel huge relief that I (and family) don’t have to see/have a relationship with such a numpty!

I have similar with my mum who cut me off for not apologising for something I didn’t do. She has mental health issues. I’d suspect similar and menopause could be a trigger.

I read some bizarre things on here about family fall outs but this is absolutely ridiculous. I wouldn’t care one bit if someone bought the same car as me. I don’t even know what car my brother drives. Hell would freeze over because she received an apology from me and if she’s prepared to cut you out of her life for such a trivial thing then you’re better off without her.

My dsis and I have the same colour and make of car. Without knowing we both bought the cars the same weekend. We not twins. They just very reliable make, a skoda. We just laughed about it. It's not an issue. Why your sister getting worked out about a car. That's silly. Just leave her to her silly behaviour but keep communication open.

Can you all drive to her house, park next to her car, play that "we're sorry uncle Albert" song through a megaphone, and wave a hand painted banner that states "were so sorry for having the same car"

Then pop a letter through all of her neighbours' doors detailing that you are expressing your sincere regret for having the same car as [sister's name] and this "extreme and Unforgivable mortal sin" and reference your "need for penance at this heinous crime against [sister] and her good moral fibre"

The megaphone might be a bit much, is there a local choir who could learn the song?

I think anything less than this isn't a proper apology.

She's said that you have copied her? OMG is she five?

Are other family members supporting her with this ridiculous behaviour? Is this the first time that she has behaved like this or is there a history of her behaving like a small child?

On my road plenty of neighbours have the same cars!

If she is of the age, I'd think menopause. I know that I went a bit mad and irrational. HRT sorted that out for me.

It's random madness. I don't even notice people's cars, they're just machines.

How someone's priorities could become so perverse, I can't fathom.

Absolutely batshit. I'd be laughing at how ridiculous she is being.

No, not enabling, but trying to get past it and move on. Op could half apologise, by saying that her husband didn’t mean to upset anyone by purchasing that car, and that she would love her to meet her new nephew. Maybe one last ditch attempt, and then leave it at that.

I’m wondering if the niece could explain the rationale for the anger as well.

As a postmenopausal woman, I was thinking that. Hands up, I was also a little unhinged but not that much.

Incidentally, what did your niece say about her mother's behaviour?

For a reaction this extreme there isn't going to be anything that she's thinking that makes sense "e.g. I feel like my sister has stolen my thunder and I don't like it". It's going to chaotic and illogical and ALL about how she feels rather than anything factual - she's been overwhelmed by how she feels and that's what has allowed her to behave so awfully so as to ignore the announcement and birth of a new baby over a car. Logically it makes no sense to behave like that and it is clearly spiteful and petty to an outside observer (and it's the worse of the two 'crimes' although you did nothing wrong here). She will see none of that because she doesn't care for logic, she had a feeling of being wronged by you that eclipses everything else. Don't bother trying to make it make sense because there is none to be found here! Maybe reach out one final time in writing with all the facts covered in a non-angry way (i really don't understand why x was upsetting, from my point of view this is what happened, could you explain so I can see from your perspective. When you blanked me having a new baby it hurt, especially knowing you were prepared to do that over a car my husband bought), then the ball is in her court.

This is so bats. I’d leave her to it!

Barking, batshit nutjob.

And enable her behaviour?!

If you want to continue contact, you may just have to give that apology, an olive branch so to speak. However, to not acknowledge the birth of a new nephew is one major hissy fit. Can you send a message saying that you’re sorry that she’s upset, and suggest meeting for coffee so she can meet your son.

She sounds nuts. Do you really need someone that crazy in your life? She’s doing you a favour. Nothing about this is normal. What do your parents think?

She’s jealous of you having babies. The car is a red herring. She will never admit this though, probably not even to herself. Did she only have one child and wanted more but couldn’t? Is she sad that her baby making years are over? It’s highly likely to be biological and she won’t be able to explain her rage so the car is a seemingly 'legitimate’ outlet. Only it isn’t because it makes her look insane. She should have waited for something more plausible.