Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do you do to keep yourself busy?

33 replies

BoyMum2025 · 29/12/2025 20:00

I'm a busy, perimenopausal mum of 20 and 18yo sons. I'm a knackered teacher.

I'm finding I can't focus on anything (reading, TV etc) and spend a lot of time in my own head over-thinking, over-worrying about the kids. Are they happy? Are they in a dodgy relationship? Catastrophising basically and worrying that I'll lose them (to the GF or something awful will happen).

Rationally I know that they're independent and that's how it should be.

I'm on HRT and these feelings/thoughts get worse the 2x weeks I'm taking the progesterone.

I've previously had counselling for GAD and I've referred myself again.

I am too tired to do anything after work. I have no hobbies and my closest friends live away.

I know I'm living too much in my head. I know I'm not being rational. I know I'll push the kids away. I know I need to find other things to occupy my mind and time- but what?

Have you felt like this? What helped?

OP posts:
Waitingfordoggo · 29/12/2025 20:14

Exercise is the biggest help for my anxiety.

I have also taken Sertraline at various points which was very helpful for anxiety but had some downsides (total lack of libido and feeling pretty ‘flat’ emotionally).

GreyCarpet · 29/12/2025 20:13

All this Adam Peaty/Holly Ramsey BS is feeding my thoughts on boy mums being ditched

I have no idea what this refers to but I'm assuming it's SM/sleb stuff, in which case, give yourself a break from SM and celebrity drama. It's rarely rooted in reality and isn't going to be helping.

GreenPoms · 29/12/2025 20:13

BoyMum2025 · 29/12/2025 20:06

All this Adam Peaty/Holly Ramsey BS is feeding my thoughts on boy mums being ditched.

My thinking is not normal.

I don't know what to do about it.

It’s not true that boy mums get ditched. Some adult children break off contact with their kids, often justifiably. It just so happens that the two most high profile cases atm involve men.
I have a son in his late 20’s and we have a fantastic relationship.

RosesAndHellebores · 29/12/2025 20:12

Forget celebs. See your GP and seek some suppoet for your anxiety.

Join a church/choir
Join a political party
Get into the garden and join the RHS
Join a book club
Clean out all your cupboards
Go to pilates
Go to a film you want to see once a month
Dog walking group

Sorry, I'm not sporty so no suggestions there

ChristmasHug · 29/12/2025 20:10

It would be good if you could learn to meditate. I found it very hard but did get there, being able to clear your mind if all thoughts even for a few minutes is very valuable.

I agree with exercise, give your brain something to worry about (that you're knackered and going to collapse).

Cbt can be useful if you can master it.

Original poster
BoyMum2025 · 29/12/2025 20:07

GreenPoms · 29/12/2025 20:05

I’m sorry if this sounds like a cliche, but exercise helps me. The best of all is when I put on some loud music and dance very energetically. I find my body and brain feel a lot calmer afterwards. I do it for about 20 minutes every evening.

Yes. I agree, exercise really helps. I just find it so hard to do it- motivation and energy. Honestly, it's like self sabotage.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoyMum2025 · 29/12/2025 20:06

All this Adam Peaty/Holly Ramsey BS is feeding my thoughts on boy mums being ditched.

My thinking is not normal.

I don't know what to do about it.

OP posts:
GreenPoms · 29/12/2025 20:05

I’m sorry if this sounds like a cliche, but exercise helps me. The best of all is when I put on some loud music and dance very energetically. I find my body and brain feel a lot calmer afterwards. I do it for about 20 minutes every evening.

Swipe left for the next trending thread