Inheritance

@DeftWasp its called a charging order.
In Scotland, a Charging Order is a legal mechanism used by local councils (social work departments) to secure a debt against your home to pay for care home fees.

It acts similarly to a mortgage or a "standard security," ensuring that the council eventually recovers the money it has spent on your care when the property is sold or the owner passes away.

Apart from your siblings who clearly do want their share of the 10k
Tgeyre being grabby snd unreasonable. If your mum is willing to do this then it’s a blessing as you know she is safe and can be looked after easily / helped by you long before it becomes an urgent need

She says

"because where we live, if she needed a nursing home, the government can possess her house and sell it to recoup the cost of her care"

That arrangement does not exist in the UK

She says

"because where we live, if she needed a nursing home, the government can possess her house and sell it to recoup the cost of her care"

That is not the case anywhere in the UK

Isn’t it deprivation of assets if something was to happen to your mum in the next 7 years ?

@DeftWaspcalm down. You only need to write it once.

But I can’t see where OP says she lives. I think she’s in the UK. There are different rules and funding arrangements between England and Scotland which may have caused confusion? OP describes the arrangement in England, so I assume she lives there

I was thinking the same thing. I noted she said her siblings were abroad and thats it.

Where has she said this?

Explain that to your siblings! That this way they get something as opposed to nothing at all!

If she had to invest the whole value of her house for the annex, I’d say absolutely not being reasonable to your siblings. She’s their mum too and if leaving money to one, then she leaves for all. But, if you just get 10K extra than your siblings and they’re free from the later life-care when it’s needed, then you are being reasonable.

I'm going to answer the OPs question:

It sounds eminently sensible to have the advanced inheritance to buy a home and your mum downsize to a flat.

With the small imbalance on your siblings inheritances, perhaps you could agree to settle that with them yourself when you can in the future.

Of course, you having your share now, and them theirs when your DM passes and the flat gets sold leaves them with the risk that the value of the flat may be absorbed by costs relating to, for example, care.

As you are not in the UK, check out your countries rules, if indeed they have such rules on depriving yourself of assets.

"because where we live, if she needed a nursing home, the government can possess her house and sell it to recoup the cost of her care"

THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK-

So why, for the love of the sweet baby Jesus is everyone giving advice about UK rules, care home fees, local authorities because....

THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK- THE OP IS NOT IN THE UK-

I live away from family and I would have no objection to my sibling doing the same - because I can’t be there!

She’s still alive and she can make her choices. My mum cared for nan.

Care homes (if you need them and you might) cost £1800 - £2300 per WEEK, depending on the level of care required.

As a PP said, you might actually need a care home as you don’t know how she will be in the future.

Make sure you retain enough for potential care costs or it could end up very badly

Many elderly people don’t wish to go into homes, but sometimes care needs mean they have to. Having money gives you the freedom to choose this care, your Mum would be very unwise to give her assets away.

Which LA?? in Spain, Slovakia, Uganda?? the OP isn't in the UK, and we don't know where she is - what we do know is they won't have an "LA" the likely have a far more effective means of local government.

Part of the difficulty is that the person can envisage not ever going into a care home, but one medical incident , a fall, anything can change everything. If you're in the UK (you haven't confirmed this) then the local authority can ask to look at what assets your mum has given away for at least the past 7 years. A house is a big asset and she would be found to have deprived herself of the assets and care wouldn't be funded. Without wishing to sound nasty, if your mum had a stroke or similar tomorrow would you be able to care for her 24/7? Would you be willing to pay for that 24/7 care?
My dad envisaged he'd 'never' go into a care home because my mum would 'always' look after him. September 2024 she had developed advanced dementia and was making regular threats to kill him. April 2025 he fell and fractured his hip age 87... Developed post operative delirium and lost all cognitive function.There was no way we would have been able to care for him. He died end of September 2025. You HAVE to look beyond what appears to be a good idea at the present time to how are you going to manage in the absolutely worst case scenario. Selling a house in the UK when fhere is a possibility of needing to fund extra care and assistance is deprivation of assets . You need to go into this with your eyes wide open and realise it's not so much an inheritance issue as the government choosing to reclaim money you've all had.

OP isn't in the UK, different territories have wildly different rules to us

And just giving up all of your choices and ending up just being in a home that that the government puts you in. Not the one that’s best for your circumstances.

Nobody can understand caring for an elderly parent until they do it. Having her on the same property as you will make it much easier when the time comes. 10k isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. Paying for a live in carer would use that up pretty darn quickly!

Your DM would be making a huge mistake doing this! For example - she sells her house for £200k and gives away £150k to you and your siblings. She then needs full time care in a home. She has to complete a financial assessment. The LA will know that she’s recently sold her house and exactly what she sold it for. They will therefore assume she still has that money and will not pay for her care. And quite right too!

Can’t she buy a more manageable property close to where you live?

it’s very easy for your mum to say she never wants to go into a care home, we have the same with my in-laws who live 2 mins away, with young children, we will do our best to keep them in their home, however FIL’s health in recent weeks means we could be looking at live in carers, since that’s the level of care he will probably need when he gets out of hospital and we can’t provide this. Can you envisage yourself providing this 24/7?

It depends on what country you're in, OP. In mine, any financial gifts are counted for 5 years (deprivation of assets), and her share of the property will be counted towards age care costings.

I'd ignore your siblings but find out the financial obligations & only worry about yourself.

If your siblings kick off, just say their welcome to move home, and move your mother in with them for an extra £10,000 that may or may not happen.

(if you're in theUK) If your Mum is elderly and could reasonably expect that there might be some care requirements in future then selling her house and distributing all the money would mostly likely be seen as deprivation of assets.

The risk for your siblings is that if your Mum needed more care than you could (or were willing to) offer, the local authority would go after the money that had been given to your siblings. Much harder in your situation as your house would also be where your Mum lived (assuming that you would own the whole property and that the flat does not have its own title deeds or could be sold separately).

If her living in the flat is genuinely in her best interests, and that arrangement would/may prevent her going into care, then the better route would be for her to retain and not distribute the funds from her house sale. Then those monies could be used for her care, if it is eventualy required. Also she should rewrite her will to state that the funds would only go to your siblings. If no care is needed then those funds would be distributed on her death - as inheritances are.

Then the challenge is that if your Mum developed nursing/care needs beyond what you could provide, and all or most of her accessible funds were used to pay for her care, you would have to think how you were going to free up assets to share with your siblings from the money you have already received.

Or maybe you would feel you'd done your bit, and wouldn't care.