Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To unbooked this holiday?

34 replies

Chefpig · 29/12/2025 18:11

My mum has always had her selfish, controlling ways. She regularly has shown she doesn't like me much.

She has mellowed slightly as she has aged, but has recently shown her true colours yet again. We can all be having a great time and then someone may slight her (her perception) and she'll have a go at that person and the mood sours.

For Christmas I booked her and her husband an expensive break away. My mother has recently let me down in a number of ways and I want to cancel the break and get my money back but is this morally wrong? I was also due to go with them but I cannot stand the thought of a week away with them. When we do go away, my mother makes things all about her and will often refuse to go to certain places, so everything has to be on her terms.

WIBU to cancel, maybe even go on my own? The location is amazing!

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 29/12/2025 18:43

feel miffed paying for a holiday for them in a place I absolutely love

Well then you shouldn't have gifted it to them.

Its wrong to take back a gift, but I wouldnt go with them.

Dont gift people things you dont actions want to give them.

Original poster
Chefpig · 29/12/2025 18:40

Growlybear83 · 29/12/2025 18:38

Of course it would be unreasonable for you to cancel the holiday! If you had given your Mum a nice bracelet or jumper, would you be asking her to return it because she’s annoyed you?

It's a lifetime of her being a twat though!

OP posts:
ChippingCleghorn · 29/12/2025 18:40

Cancel and tell them why - circumstances have changed and you can’t do then get them another gift - tell them you made a mistake

Growlybear83 · 29/12/2025 18:38

Of course it would be unreasonable for you to cancel the holiday! If you had given your Mum a nice bracelet or jumper, would you be asking her to return it because she’s annoyed you?

Original poster
Chefpig · 29/12/2025 18:35

Thanks everyone. It's in May @ToKittyornottoKitty.

@Apfelkuchen I feel miffed paying for a holiday for them in a place I absolutely love.

@Namechangetry I've had counselling recently and it worked wonders. The subject was often my mum, her being emotionally unavailable and verbally absusive and her dismissing my feelings. It had to stop due to financial restrictions. I booked it because I suppose I feel that buying nice presents like that might make her love me more and be more supportive and less critical. It doesn't work though.

@babasaclover is it? He's my stepfather and I'm not sure it's that odd. Having thought about it though, I invite him along as she wouldn't ever leave him so just the two of us could go.

OP posts:
babasaclover · 29/12/2025 18:25

Why on earth would you go on holiday with your mother and her partner. That is so odd. Not really a gift to her more of an inconvenience. Go with your mum by all means but don’t expect to go with her partner too - odd dynamic

Namechangetry · 29/12/2025 18:20

Given all the threads you've made about your mum lately, cancel the holiday and use the money for counselling. I'm not being snidey, I mean it.

Why are you buying expensive holidays for someone who you feel doesn't like you and treats you badly? If you keep on doing the same you'll get the same results, get some help to see your relationship with her clearer and go forward doing things differently. She's not going to change so you need to change how you are with her and what you expect from her.

Apfelkuchen · 29/12/2025 18:14

I think cancelling a gift is morally wrong, but if I was you there’s no way I would be joining them there.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/12/2025 18:13

When is it?