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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask my DH to be considerate about the gym??

31 replies

Megirlan123 · 29/12/2025 17:34

So, this has been annoying me and wanted an outsiders prospective.
My DH has recently started going back to the gym in the past month. I’m keen for this because we aren’t getting any younger and he does need to start looking after himself more.
Anyway, by the time he goes to the gym, has a sauna and a swim, shower etc he is gone for around 2.5-3hrs.
I don’t have issue with this but he has gone in the early evenings the past few times (4 days a week) However, today I asked him if he was always going to go in the evenings for 3 hrs and we ended up bickering about it. He made me feel like I’m being unreasonable by asking him to sometimes go in the mornings etc so I’m not sat here 4 nights a week trying to get dinner, kids sorted etc etc. (3 kids, 2 school age) We are self employed if that makes any difference.

So AIBU asking him to be more considerate in when he goes to the gym ?

OP posts:
RabbitsEatPancakes · 29/12/2025 17:39

YABU!
He's basically dodging the hard, messy part of the day isn't he?

I'd match him for 2 weeks, let him have 4 nights the first week whilst youre out for 3 and you do 4 nights the next week the first week. Then ask him if he enjoys the new routine.

Squirrelchops1 · 29/12/2025 17:39

He doesn't need to be gone 3 hours every time, that's ridiculous. 1 hr normally with maybe 1 session a week longer to swim and sauna.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 29/12/2025 17:38

Well he needs to be doing his fair share of looking after the kids, housework, cooking, plus giving enough time to your relationship - so on that basis, I'd imagine he's being v unreasonable indeed.

Very few people have time for a sauna and swim after the gym during the weekdays - it's exercise, not an opportunity for a child free spa break.

You need to work out reasonable times between you. In generating an hour spent exercising is tops.

Sirzy · 29/12/2025 17:37

Can he go a bit later so he is there when your all eating to help there a bit?

are the school age children young school age or teens who can pretty much sort themselves

weirdoboelady · 29/12/2025 17:36

What would happen in your household if you mirrored him, and took off for 3 hours every morning to do an activity you enjoy (one which would make you healthier, if you want to go for full parity)?

Sillysoggyspaniel · 29/12/2025 17:36

Well he's hardly exercising in the sauna is he. He's dodging family life. I run, and go between 6-7am because I consider family life. He's taking the absolute piss and isn't even getting any fitter.