I am very upset that I haven't been asked to be my sister's bridesmaid.

Your sister sounds like a bit of a cunt.

The comment about baby weight was unnecessary but you’ll have 3 kids by the time the wedding rolls around so she’s probably right about your attention (understandably) being elsewhere.

Is not showing up to her engagement party the tip of the iceberg im terms of your reliability? She might just not want a bridesmaid who’s prone to being flaky.

If those are her reasons then you had a lucky escape.

Sounds like wedding is a photo shoot and not a family occasion.

You're well out of it OP. Have a few drinks and enjoy watching your little ones tearing around amidst the careful seating plan.

"not lost the baby weight" "needs to be the centre of attention"
well she can fuck off to fuckoffville and stay there.

She's...... a lot.
Wow.

She sounds vacuous. (I’m a middle child but not vacuous).

I alwasy thought middle child stereotype was that they are hugely attention seeking/ drama Queens because otherwise they get ignored.

Yabu, you don't sound like you'll be able to fulfill bridesmaid duties. Of course she should be the centre of attention at her own wedding.

You missed her engagement party because your kids had chicken pox? And your husband/ their dad was available. I can see why she'd doesn't think she'll be your priority at her wedding.

Tbh, it sounds like you are best off out of it! She sounds like a drama queen
and it might be an unpopular opinion but the kind of weddings where adults have 5 / 6 adults as bridesmaids freak me out anyway!

Sorry op, your sister sounds VERY shallow. And mean. Who the hell cares whether you’ve lost your baby weight by then?

Do you mean youngest child stereotype. Stereotype for middle child is neglected, ignored and just copes and gets on with it. She sounds more youngest child stereotype

Regardless, it definitely sounds like your dodged a bullet. She's a total bridzella in the making.

I didn’t have my sisters as bridesmaids. I had my friends. I get on with my siblings, but I’m much closer to my friends. And she has a point regarding your focus being elsewhere.

Has she come out with it tactlessly? As in she could have meant as in she doesn't want to pressure you to look a certain way/lose weight etc? I can't believe how shallow people can always come across so I try and give them the benefit of the doubt.

For what it's worth, she might want you to be able to enjoy the day and focus on an infant and your DC's. If you were to be maid of honour there could be lots of added pressure unless you'll be up for it?

My sister didn't ask me to be her bridesmaid, at first I was taken back by it but I have been a bridesmaid a few times for family and it was actually nice to sit back and relax as a guest for a change xx

You’re being unreasonable to even give it a minute of thought - she sounds like drama.

Have a great time looking after your priorities - your children, and I’m sure they’re already more mature than her. Being one of her bridesmaids would terrify me 😂

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Honestly, with a baby you will have more fun as a guest. Ask to narrate a reading in the service. That way, you are with your baby and husband most of the time and get to wear what you want, but also have a special role. It’s honestly a much more important position.

You are best off out of it, it sounds like it will be a nightmare. If it’s all about the Insta shots it is just shallow. Not worth falling out over and I think you will be best off in a fabulous outfit of your own choice.
Could you be her witness? I’ve done that for a friend who just wanted little bridesmaids and it felt like an important job.
You are rightly hormonal right now buy if let her get on with it. Weddings are becoming so OTT now, before you know it, it all turns out a bit Adam Peaty.
Maybe there is a part of the day you could add your input to, or a little event/treat for just the two of you to enjoy when the time comes?
And then when the day comes turn up looking fabulous, stick on your best smile and let her have her moment.
I have just wanted the Gavin & Stacey Finale and Smithy’s fiance is all about the bridezilla, isn’t she? I’d rather have a hen night with Pam and Nessa to be frank.

Why on Earth does she want five flipping bridesmaids? Probably great big clue there, about how she is approaching this event. A case of:
‘Feck thinking about marriage and lifelong commitment, I just want a wedding, so I feel like a fairy tale princess and everyone admires me’.

You are well out of it.
You are also clearly excused, by this exclusion, any related duties the bridesmaids won’t fancy taking on, such as booking hotel rooms for thirteen fussy women in some fancy destination for a hen week.
Organising everyone’s transport from a country house hotel to a bijou country church; dealing with caterers, and so on.
You can just be a close family guest, wear what you like, and thoroughly enjoy the day without worrying one bit about it.

Bridezilla incoming … be grateful you won’t have any “hen party organising” responsibilities, won’t have to go to endless dress appointments, won’t have to keep yourself “Instagramable” at all times, won’t have orders barked at you on the day, won’t have to stand around for endless photographs..

go be a guest, and enjoy yourself

The baby weight comment is shit..... However tbh when else other then your wedding day can you be the center of attention 🤷

I think you’ve had a lucky escape. Hopefully you’ll avoid the hen do as that sounds like it could be painful going on what’s already been said above.

Oof - your sister sounds like a bit of a cheeky bitch!

Having friends instead of sister is absolutely fine.

Saying you are fat and won't pay her attention is just horrible. She's a nasty person.