I am very upset that I haven't been asked to be my sister's bridesmaid.

I would remind her of this if she has kids and she comes asking for babysitting. People do get like this before a wedding. Hopefully she will look back at this with some perspective in years to come and be thoroughly embarrassed by her attitude.

I think you've had a narrow escape.
You don't have to get involved in any of the organising/helping drama.

No pressure, just sit back and watch.

Although I'd have to tell her the weight comment was hurtful, she shouldn't get away with that.

clumsily put but with 4 children to manage, bridesmaid duties may well be a curse rather than a blessing for you. And yes, as the bride she will be expecting to be the centre of attention, it comes with the role.

Cringing for her. Hopefully she'll look back and realise how much of a twat the comments about the weight and the being the centre of attention made her look.
Honestly, sounds like it's a blessing in disguise for you. You can sit back and watch all the dramatics unfold in peace - because there will be lots judging by what she's said so far.

Wow. If my sister talked to me like that I wouldn't even go to her bloody wedding. Tell her that you don't want to embarrass her showing up obese at her wedding so you better pass. She sounds horrible tbh. Didn't know people actually were so rude to each other in a family.

Definitely don’t agree with her wording, however she does have a point.

You said yourself you’ll have three children to look after if I’m understanding what you wrote correctly, one being an infant that may or may not be walking by then.

Although, she’ll have five other people, I’m wondering if she thinks you’ll struggle leaving the 10 mo with your husband and you’ll have baby with you if you were a bridesmaid.

Are your parents a part of the wedding? Would they have been able to keep their grandchildren occupied if you had been a bridesmaid?

Also, how close are you and your sister?

Find the shock over bridesmaids a bit weird. When I was a child, 5 was a normal
number of bridesmaids and this was before social media.

Does the baby weight comment mean she doesn't want any fat bridesmaids?

If so, I would be ashamed to have a sister with such awful values and I can't believe your parents would be proud either. Gross.

I think how she phrased it was tactless but I can see where she’s coming from in that she wants someone who can commit & not drop out of things last minute due to DCs (you’re not wrong to have cancelled when your DCs had CP but I can see why she’s opted you out).

Enjoy the day focusing on your family & not stressing about being a bridesmaid. Doing a reading is a good idea.

Wouldn't worry, it doesn't reflect on you, sounds like your sister is just a twat.

You are well off out of it. She does sound very shallow to be honest.

How dare she say that about your weight!! - what a cheek!

Just roll up, eat the grub, drink the drink and make sure your chidlren have some fun at the reception!

That's really nasty saying she's worried you won't have lost the 'baby weight" before the wedding Horrible

Mentioning the baby weight was nasty of her and quite shallow

She was unreasonable to speak to you that way. That’s a horrible way to phrase something.

I didn’t know sisters could be bridesmaids or that that would be considered. I thought sisters were sisters and a wedding traditional enough to have bridesmaids they would be friends or much younger relatives. Is there a brother equivalent?

My understanding is the stereotype is that because they get less attention than the older and the younger children, they are more independent and self-reliant and tend to be peacemakers.

Because you wouldn’t have lost the baby weight? She sounds revolting

Whilst the weight thing is rude to say to someone every wedding I’ve had intimate knowledge of involves a bridesmaid on a weight loss crusade who doesn’t make it. My own involved hysterical crying, re buying of dresses and a suggestion everyone changes their dress to match the new “unable to fit into it after all” party. I felt so sorry for her but god it was hassle. Took up days

Middle children are usually seen as mediators and left to cope - I think it’s the stereotype of the youngest you mean?

Awww. I understand both sides. I always think of being a bridesmaid as a young women thing, not a mum of 3 to be honest. Bridesmaid work- helping her get ready and carrying her stuff- seems pretty immature and trivial compared to attending as a family of 5.

i can understand why she’d rather someone completely focus on that, and understand why you’d want to be involved x

I take it you are familiar with the term Bridezilla? Well that’s what you have here. A Bridezilla.

Sound like a bitch.

Lucky escape.

you feel bad about it as she’s been a total bitch if she used those words. So much agro being a bridesmaid, I’d stay well clear and just focus on having a good time.

As a big sister myself I’d be gutted at this. She should have told you before she asked her friends for starters and as for the weight thing that’s just hurtful. You’ve definitely dodged a bullet.

She said that she is worried that I won't have lost my baby weight by the date of her wedding

Is she really a nasty piece of work or is she just giving a good imitation of one?

😄 I would just not involve myself in the wedding at all then

Dont mention it, dont bring it up, reply politely if she does

You sound healthier than me though, so i'm sure your relationship will recover.

I'd be waiting for the "it's a child free wedding".