I am very upset that I haven't been asked to be my sister's bridesmaid.

But she also doesn’t make a habit of having engagement parties. This is a once in a lifetime event (hopefully). She wanted her family to show up. You celebrating in other ways doesn’t make it ok to ditch the party last minute.

Chicken pox is rarely severe and temperatures can be dealt with using calpol. If it were a weekend away I’d understand not going but you could have managed a few hours.

She’s probably worried you’ll bale again if your children are unwell, or will spend the time running after your kids. Her wedding is her one day to have exactly how she wants it. She hasn’t uninvited you, she just chose other bridesmaids who can focus more on the task in hand.

That’s pretty shitty of you though.

Your husband absolutely should be able to handle two unwell kids for a few hours. It’s chicken pox, not pneumonia.

If you never prioritise her, why do you think she’ll prioritise you?

I have three kids who I love and prioritise but there are some instances where I put others first - one of those would be my siblings engagement party. Different if you were a single parent but you’re not.

You have indeed had a lucky escape.

Yes, she’s probably sore because you didn’t go to the engagement party. And she’s right…you won’t be able to support her in the run up to the wedding in the way she expects. Her expectations are likely to be very high.

If she doesn’t have young dc, she probably doesn’t get it that you couldn’t just waltz out the door and leave your poorly dc with your unwell DH. When my dd had chicken pox, she was so uncomfortable that I sat up cradling her all night for 3 nights straight as it was the only way she would sleep. I thought I was going mad by the end of it. Until that point, I had no idea that chicken pox could be so rotten.

As others have already suggested, leave it be. Concentrate on being a guest at the wedding and enjoying your sister’s day with your lovely dc.

I would be anonymously gifting her some Regina George style protein bars. In all seriousness her comment about your weight was cruel and un necessary.

You can sit back and enjoy all the problems her me-me-me attitude will produce, sit back and enjoy it! Just ensure that you are never available to help out, let her know that the Famous Five should have everything in hand.

I didn't expect to be a bridesmaid for my little sister, she had her friends and I had a toddler and a 1 year old when she for married.

She was my chief bridesmaid, but she would never make a comment about my weight or being the centre of attention for her wedding. She's not I sensitive like that and doesn't crave attention.

As soon as I read "5 bridesmaids" I thought "you've had a lucky escape!" 😂

Seriously, sit back, relax, enjoy yourself on the day. She's gifted you a good deal!

She’s very rude and has a bad case of main character syndrome. It sounds like she will be a bridezilla and make your life a misery if you are a bridesmaid so look on the bright side, you can just enjoy the wedding with no responsibility to the bride. She really is awful though.

Your sister sounds awful. Bridesmaids aren’t props, they are the people you love and are honouring.

I'd be happy to escape that sort of remit too.

Strap in @Lottie585, it's only going to get worse.

Ok

I think this is what it's about.

You have dodged a catastrophic high velocity bullet.

You have dodged such a bullet

She is being hurtful. The kind thing to do would have been to ask you and allow you to decline.

Goodness me - won’t have lost the ‘baby weight’! What a shocking comment to make. Apart from the fact that this is a tired stereotype which is so often different to the reality (while everyone is different, pregnancy really does not automatically equal significant weight gain that takes so long to reverse), she’s directly told you that she cares more about the aesthetics of the pictures than about you. Haven’t RTFT, but is she typically a bit selfish and unpleasant like this?

I think her reasonings behind why she doesn’t want you to be her bridesmaid is nimrod hurtful than just saying she’s asked her friends instead. She didn’t need to tell you her reasonings. I would be hurt. Who’s to say her 5 friends won’t get pregnant? Or get fatter? Or have other priorities?

Mate, you dodged a bullet. She sounds like a massive dickhead! Being a bride and demanding to be the centre of attention is not going to make that better.

I'd be briefly upset but also count my blessings.

If she's so shallow now, God help those bridesmaids closer to the wedding.

She sounds pretty horrendous tbh. Worried you might not have lost your baby weight? Sounds like she thinks you’ll ruin her photos!
You’ve had a lucky escape by the sounds of it!

I think everyone is being a bit harsh on the sister! Yes, the baby weight comment was wrong but she wants the day to be about her and fair enough. She already knows you decided at the last minute not to come to her engagement party and leave your dc with their father so in her eyes you will not be able to trust your dh with the dc on her wedding day.

Yeah, sounds like a narrow escape; wanting to be 'centre of attention' rings alarm bells, although perhaps she was just expressing clumsily that you have too much going on in you're life to give much time to the wedding, and she may be expecting BMs to give it a lot of time. It's not unreasonable not to ask you because she knows it might be a bit much of a commitment with you having 3 small kids, but to mention your weight is just insensitive.

I didn't have my sister as BM , just niece as flowergirl, but that was just as I was wearing a shorter, simple coloured dress (which was in fact a bridesmaid dress) so it's not like a I needed BMs to help me move around in the dress or get me into it, and also it wouldn't be obvious who was the bride so that wasn't going to work. I wasn't sister's MOH or anything either, as she had various nieces from our and DH's side.