To be upset my friend asked me for 5K?

No excuses or apologies needed.

Offer emotional support if you want to, signpost to practical support for both her debts and her mental health but don’t give her money.

I have voted YABU, only because there’s no need to get upset about it or feel bad. You just say ‘no’. You don’t have to even give a reason.

Also, OP, you cannot afford to give away money when you are starting a new job/on probation/have no employment security or rights in case something goes wrong or you fall ill etc. £13k is really not a lot of money in the greater scheme of things. We lent £10k to a friend who was making (what I now think were spurious) suicidal threats. He too had racked up debts on total nonsense spending. It was supposed to be a 6 month stop gap, but it took years and the end of a number of friendships to get it back (he turned other friends against us for wanting our money back after years of patience). We weren’t the only people he grifted borrowed off, and all of the people he did borrow off were in potentially vulnerable situations (in ours, a new baby, new house and redundancy). I am pretty sure our vulnerability was what attracted him to prey on us. These people are absolutely cheeky fuckers and deserve no sympathy.

I had a friend like this. Thought she could buy whatever frivolities she liked, but expected others to bail her out. Like a previous poster said, she will not repay you. If you don’t feel comfortable saying no outright then make excuses, maybe that you’re paying off debts you incurred whilst not working. Anything, but don’t lend her the money.

You say No. Or you ignore her request.

It's perfectly OK just to say No, and change the subject.

This is a great response.

Also tell her to see her gp if she's feeling suicidal.

Tell her you've put the money into an account whrre you're not able to make withdrawals until 3 years!

She is no friend.
Tell her all your money is already allocated to bills etc for the foreseeable future and you are not able to lend her anything without putting yourself into a difficult position

Please don’t do it. And if she calls off the friendship because of your decision then she wasn’t a true friend. x

"I do not lend money. And I never want to discuss this again. Now, how was your Christmas?"
Say it like you mean it. And if the CF does ask again, just repeat "I do not lend money." No variation, no explanations, no justifications.
She may be a friend of sorts, she may do little jobs for you etc, but that does not entitle her to swipe over one quarter of your payout. That is YOUR money.
And you should never feel uncomfortable being assertive with people who are taking the piss.
And in future, don't discuss your finances with people, especially her.

She’s not a friend

No. She caused her problem, being stupid. Her problem to solve.

I’ve not read the other comments yet but in100% agree with this. Do not lend her. You will not see that money ever again. I would just be blunt and say sorry you don’t have it to lend. Full stop.

No or you won’t see that £5k again. Just say, sorry i cant help unfortunately

”Sorry -no”

thats all you need.

Just say no, fucking hell. You need the money to pay your bills.

Also she isn't really your friend. Friends don't behave like this.

What makes her your "friend"?

I think she is a user and you will never see that money again. I agree with PP, tell her you owe it to your Mum and Dad or it is to cover a bank loan you had. If you give it to her it will be gone and if you don't give a definite reason why she can't borrow it she will ask again.

“I don’t have £5000 to lend, after I have paid back my parents and put some aside to cover bills until I start earning from my new job, the small amount left over has already been locked into savings as a future safety net”
Don’t apologise for not giving it, you shouldn’t risk your own future financial security for anyone, if you were financially well off that it would be slightly different but as you’ve said you were literally down to nothing, you can’t afford to give any away.

You say 'no, sorry. I need all the money to cover my expenses and debts before I start my new job'
And if she carries on then you end the friendship because she's a twat.

I don't have the exact figure but she's asking you to GIVE her around 30% of your money.

Cheeky cow.

She's a cheeky cow! She probably doesn't have much debt but sees you with your payout and thinks she deserves some of it. I'd tell her you've paid your parents back and put the rest in a private pension.

I also think she knows you have low self esteem and is relying on you being unable to say no to her.

No one is going to kill themselves over a £5k debt - it’s not even a lot.

all she needs to do is move it all onto an interest free card and on a £2k a month salary it could be paid off in a year easy.

She is not a friend OP.
I had a ''friend' ask to borrow money from me (£3k) for a new car as she knew i had £5k in savings. She only asked me as she didnt want to pay interest on a loan ffs but was happy for me to lose interest on my savings to benefit her!
We are no longer in contact

Do you that she believes she's entitled to a portion of your settlement money because she's your close friend?

Inform her that the money is now your life savings and cannot be touched.

Tell her to seek help with a debt counsellor.