To be upset my friend asked me for 5K?

Absolutely not.
The audacity of her!

She’s not your friend

Well you were in a dreadful situation and had a genuine reason to be suicidal and she did sod all.
And now she’s using blackmail.
Get rid of her OP. She’s vile.

Vultures exist in human form, preying upon the pieces of your soul. No fucking way would I lend a penny.

You shouldn't, and you know it. Well done for making the decision in your own mind. If you really want to soften the blow, you could tell her it's all accounted for already with debts, student loan repayment etc, but really you shouldn't have to. Though obviously the fact she's even asked and seems to think it's her entitlement to, reveals what kind of person she is. She's not going to suddenly say oh yes of course I shouldn't have asked, is she, so whatever you say is going to cause upset. Just remember she's the one that's caused this situation, not you.

This is terrible thing to say.. she’s not a friend

Honestly, if you want to stay friends with her, I would tell her you have spent most of the money. Say you used to pay back all your multiple (fictional) debts. Offer to pay for a food shop for her. That way you are still offering support but making your boundaries clear

Don’t do it, you need the money, she sounds like she would squander it and you would never get it back.

Her taking money from you makes her sound like a pretty shit friend.

I would word it like this to her... Hi friend,
I'm really sorry i'm unable to help you with your debt as i've previously said to you, i am starting a new job and will need that money in case the new job doesn't go to plan. I'm here if you need me please reach out if you do need to chat.
Good luck in your new job 🙂

You don't have to find an elaborate explanation. I would just say "I'm sorry, I can't do that". And leave it at that. If she rails at you, or begs, or asks why not just don't engage & change the subject.

You wouldn't be helping her she would just lose the money and your friendship (and some of her dignity).

She's a fair weather friend. Keep her at arms length. Or preferably dump her cheeky arse. You owe her nothing. Please don't give her money. If she gave a toss about you she'd never have asked you for it.

Good luck in your new job and all the best for the future. 💐

Do this. I sent a similar message in vaguely similar circumstances. Unfortunately not until after I'd already lent £700 that I'll never see again though. Please learn from my mistake x

Just say no.

If she falls out with you then it's no loss.

I have whinged about money with friends when we were deeply in debt and I was distressed about it. One even offered to lend me some money (bless her) which I refused, as we had enough for basics and the debt was our own fault and ours to sort. It’s involved a lot of learning and self reflection on how we ended up there. We have come out the other side with some brutal decisions to make along the way but have got there.

I can’t believe the gall of your ‘friend’. I’d echo everyone else and say ‘no’. Add on an excuse for why if you must although there is no excuse as you need an emergency fund of 3-6 months of frugal living if anything similar were to happen again anyway. It’s allocated.

I’d recommend watching rebel finance school on youtube about financial education, paying off debt and which first), emergency funds and investing. We’d made in roads before this but it has helped to focus our minds on future financial planning.

Tell her is in an isa and you couldn’t touch it even if you wanted to, which you don’t

The mention of suicide to guilt trip you into giving her money is bloody awful. She’s a grown woman with a good income and few overheads, she is in the perfect position to crack through a pile of debt but it means self control and planning

I'd tell her to piss off.

Spoiler alert: Your friendship is over either way.

If a friend asked me for a large loan, with her history, I would no longer class her as a friend. It’s as simple as that. You’re not a bank.

I’d just tell her you can’t. I had a friend who would listen to me say I was broke that I was borrowing and then she’d ask me for £5/10 here or there once asked me for £30 and in the next breathe asked someone else to go out for dinner. I sent her £15 here or there and never received it back so when she asked for the £30 I’d had enough and there’s more as we used to work together and I’ve not spoken to her now for 17 months. So I’d make any excuse up say you’ve put it somewhere away or something. Cause that’s £5k you’d never see again.

Text her and say ‘sadly I can’t lend any cash, I’ve got a massive pile of bills to pay and my own debts to square. However Ive done some research and found Step Change who can help you with a repayment plan’

https://www.stepchange.org/?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12348298313&gbraid=0AAAAAD1toAgV4TgdowXRjsSiYzZujbkoi&gclid=Cj0KCQiA6sjKBhCSARIsAJvYcpNuPSd-c75jMfDOPdytNu8vRin5_NNHlUNrJWKeVAVi13-HKMim_NIaAtwgEALw_wcB

God, your update makes it worse. So she actually wants you to gift her the money and not even make a pretence of it being a ‘loan’! Words fail me op. Distance yourself from this person, she’s no friend. It goes without saying you are not going to give her money. Take the time you need to feel well and healthy again.

It’s simple. Tell her you don’t have the money, because you don’t. I’d also ghost her because she’s not your friend. She’s a leech.

I'm guessing you told her about the money settlement from your former employer. That would be why she has come up with this demand now. She is trying to exploit your friendship, goodwill, good nature. sees you as a soft touch and an opportunity for gain.

Just say you are not in a position to help. Nothing else. No sorry, no explanations or apologies. Steel yourself to say it. Resolve to stand firm and stick at that.

Repeat it if necessary.

If she takes the hump, too bad. She's a user. And feckless with money.

Yes maybe tell the friend to go and ask if she can borrow it from OP’s parents. You could sell tickets to watch that event….