To be upset my friend asked me for 5K?

Just to pipe in, a friend asked to borrow money from me once after I had an inheritance. She earns probably 4 times what I do, bought a house with land to please her new chap and goes on luxury holidays a few times a year. They have a massive mortgage and God knows how much credit card debt. I live in a small flat, no mortgage, and live within my means. Best thing I ever did was say no as I would never have got it back. It would have ended our friendship.

Tell her no way. And thats me being polite.

This type pop out of the woodwork at a sniff of cash . Pleased you held out , this money is yours to do with as you please . You have had a trying time and you faced it with a strength of character.

I’d say no, and that as your mental health has also taken a battering recently, that you need this money to fall back on. She is unlikely to be able to pay you back quickly so I would say no and also that you don’t want it to ruin your friendship if she owes you money. If she falls out with you over it then she’s not really your friend is she?

I’d wonder if she had a hidden addiction. To run up debt when you work and have no housing costs is bizarre. Addiction would also
over ride any embarrassment and sense of decency that would over wise stop her from pressuring you for money.

Im sorry you have been put in this position by your "friend".
A good lesson to be learned is do not discuss financial numbers with friends.
Tell her No, as others have said.
its not necessary but if it makes you feel better tell her after you have paid back your mum and settled your own debts from a period of not working you don't have 5k left to give/lend her.

It's my experience that people consider a settlement as "found money" or a lottery win, rather than the amount a court decided was fair to cover your losses. Therefore you should share it around to anyone who asks.
Glad you will say "no"!

I don't blame you OP. She shouldn't be asking you for money.

I've recently found out that someone has asked my elderly father to give them £6k. How fucking dare they.
He didn't give them it thankfully.

Sorry just read the later posts, well done OP for standing up to the CF!

which of these scenarios is less appealing to you:
having an awkward conversation and telling her no?
Or giving her 5k that you will never get back?
Go with whichever you feel more comfortable with.

This sort of thing really grinds my gears we could all say that. I would say she's not a real friend. I would tell her no I'm not in a position to do that and I need every penny I have You don't need to give her an explanation it's your money to do with what you want. If you feel there's any chance that she is actually suicidal and not just saying this then I would suggest that you give her the number for the Samaritans and explain that you're worried about her saying this and then keep asking her if she's contacted them. I would also perhaps mention this to her father if you know him. On the off chance that she really is down then you will have done what you can

First off, do NOT apologise by starting out and saying “I’m sorry, but…”

Say ”I can’t do that. I don’t have enough money to care for myself and loan out to anybody else.”

Or a version of that. If you lose her as a friend, you weren’t really friends - were you.
As I’m sure you’re already asking yourself.

It's a definite no. You don't need to elaborate, but if pushed you can just say you don't have spare £5,000.
You know you won't get the money back and you can not afford to make such a sizeable gift to anyone right now. You aren't working yet, and have been through too much to be put under any more stress.
Do not even offer a smaller amount out of misplaced guilt. Straight up "No"

Don't make up any stories! She will keep pestering you otherwise. I can't tell you the amount of times this happened to me when I was young and foolish. Thank God I always said no. Absolute cheeky fucker she is. If she's cocky enough to ask, then you also find the confidence to say no. No excuses, stories, nothing. Just say no, and let her have as many tantrums as she wants. That is YOUR money. Not hers.

@OhMyLantern I see you've decided to say, No. That is the right decision. 😅
I just want to add: She is not your friend.
I think you need to ghost her and block.
If contacted and pushed, I would bluntly say it is due to the money request. I would then say, This friendship is over.
Do not feel guilt. She's a pariah.

She doesn't sound like much of a best friend

Tell her you were in exactly her position and borrowed off a family member....
Sorry it's tied up and block her. She isn't your friend.

I'd say sorry no it's all tied up other than what I'll need till my first payday. Maybe ask your dad like I had to ask my parents, at least your working, ring people you owe money to and arrange payments then stop wasting money.

This. But say it twice

You were in a similar situation and she didn't even offer a small grocery shop. She isn't your friend. Fade her out/cut her off.

This and drop her as she is a low quality friend.

Quick answer to that then is "but you didn't" surely?

No. Or if preferred.
I wish I could but unfortunately its all been allocated for necessities

Some friend… Your situation and hers are in no way comparable. You needed help through no fault of your own. She has squandered her money and has totally caused her own financial issues. And then she has the audacity to lay it on thick with emotional blackmail?

Perfect response. If she pushes back I’d delete and block. No true friend would behave like that.
Hoping that 2026 and your new job is a brilliant new start for you. x