To be upset my friend asked me for 5K?

I would say that money was awarded to you as compensation and it is not meant to be frittered away. You have to steward that money that you are entitled to. It’s yours.
if you want to you could give her a much smaller amount and say this is a gift and you don’t expect it back and then ask her to go to a debt management charity for help.

never tell anyone about any form of money you get! This comes from someone who got victim compensation- do not tell people!

I just wanted to say I am sorry you have been through such a bad time. ive had nine years of total hell and I never thought I would feel suicidal but I do. im glad you are finding a way through

Tell her you used it to pay off your debts.

She’s not your friend. Stash the rest of the money for a rainy day. Well done on your new job!

Just say No. You wont get it back. If she can't understand your reasoning then she was never a friend. A fool and her money ...... You know the rest. Good luck

No is a full sentence. Don’t elaborate, she will be well versed in doing this so just be blunt. Not a royalist but the queen was adept at short and sweet to the point answers . Not your problem to solve or give any explanation. Life is full of takers . As others have said it will be wasted and you won’t see the cash for dust . The collective view on here is a big fat no don’t do it . Glad u are refusing, it’s shocking when asked. It takes a minute to actually respond. Been there , you won’t regret it .

But she WAS in the same situation, and you DID need it, and she didn't lift a finger. Worse, she wasn't even a sympathetic ear.

"I'm also feeling bitter because when I was struggling for money and really on my bones, my friend didn’t even offer me a food shop or anything else. Hated listening about what was happening at work and brushed it off. Never offered any advice and always turned the conversation to herself."

Fuck her! Selfish cow, and a liar to boot!

Just say, "sorry, I'm not in a position to lend money at the moment" and then maybe direct her to some debt support services.

I'm glad to see that you're not going to help her out financially. I once told my loving, caring mum that I felt like I needed some time to myself, and that motherhood was making me feel down, stressed and overwhelmed. I'd tried hinting for her help, as she had been a single mum with little ones when she was younger, and had spoken about how she felt isolated at that time.
She responded with "I coped, and you will too" and politely left for home. I was shocked, hurt and a little resentful. But now, almost 20 years later, I can appreciate she was putting in her boundaries. She helped me in other ways, but was not ever happy to take my children off my hands for a few hours. I won't share what she had been through, but over the years I began to understand why she might nlt have wanted to.
(I won't do that to my children when they become parents , but I respect her decision. )
I never chose to make it difficult by asking more of her than she was happy to do, because that's what love and respect means.
I think your friend has no right to inflict this difficult position upon you.

If she really does want help, maybe offer to go for walks, take her for a coffee or just check in with her via message.

If she is a misguided friend she will appreciate this kind of help (that which falls within your boundaries). If she doesn't, unfortunately she is no friend of yours.

Hi. I would say no to the "loan" but offer to help her to plan a way to pay it back and budget. She will be looking at a service like step change. It's a UK charity that helps people in debt. Especially for someone who sounds hesitant to grow up properly and take accountability for their own actions this would be a more helpful approach as it will give her a sense of control and independence with it rather than just been bailed out. She can definitely afford to pay back a loan of that amount with help from a service like step change so I think this is genuinely good advice. She will need to check her credit score on Experian for example to see where she actually stands. It will be a reality check. You put on the work to recover from what happened to you and fight back against awful discrimination and will have learnt so much about yourself in that process I am sure! Also well done. I'm neurodiverse and went through something similar and I know how hard it is to get back up and fight every day, you should be incredibly proud of yourself!

How does she know how much you have?

Stop being a victim and tell your friend to do one

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

Don't share financial details with this "friend"
You do not have to pay for her new nails / new car / holidays.
I hope you can make a new start after all you have been through.

Just say no. That money needs to last me and that's it. It would be different if she were really financially struggling but she isn't - and if you are never going to see the money again, don't lend it

The so-called ''friend'' is a selfish, egotistical bore. Tell her to get stuffed, she'll not get even 1p out of you.

Her debts are entirely her own fault, but even if they weren't, she's got no right wanting a whopping £5,000 from you, which you'll never see again, especially what you've been through.

tell her a brief version of what you have said here and say it clearly.
you may need to reconsider whether she is worth keeping as a friend?
you can make new ones???

I'm very glad you're going to refuse her request to spaff your money up the wall but I would most definitely labour the help with debt planning. There are a number of charities that can help with this and if she's netting £2k a month with minimal bills she can afford to put at least £1k a month towards debt. If she's racked up say 60k of debt, then in 5 years she'll be clear AND, lucky her, still have a roof over her head: a better outcome than for most in her situation. She just needs help to get an agreed payment plan with her creditors.

However, I very much doubt she will appreciate your help because right now, her fear is not the bailiffs, but that she'll not be able to pay for nails, hair salons, holidays and that is the source of her desperation which tells you exactly where your £5k would go were you ever to be inveigled into giving it to her. I'd also say that £13k which is what's left after repaying your parents is not all that much these days. You need every penny of that just in case life sideswipes you again. Your misfortunes were outside of your control whereas hers were entirely of her own making and until she gets a grip on her spending, it's not going to get any better for her or her bank account or anyone who is foolish enough to give her their money.

I would have said, I know lucky me, I'm going to put it in a stocks and shares ISA I'll soon be a millionaire and I still won't be giving you any of my money.

I was quite surprised to hear it, myself! One of those times when you go away, get home and think 'Did I actually hear that?'

Well, you could point out that you WERE in that situation quite recently and she offered nothing.

Just say you can't - if she says "but you just got 18k!" say you had debts before that or something, or you've invested it. It's all gone.

She's so manipulative! The normal response when someone refuses to lend you money is to graciously accept their answer, not try to guilt trip them. She ignored your problems when you were suffering. She wouldn't do the same for you, she couldn't even be bothered to listen to you when you were down, it's laughable for her to say she'd have given you 5k. Don't give in OP. People like this are dangerous. And well done for turning her down.
But you really need to improve your self-esteem and get better friends. You are worth more than this.

I would tell her no. I myself was asked for money and said I sorry I don’t have that kind of money. The person accused me of lying and said I was wealthy which I am not. I am afraid we don’t speak now and are no longer friends.