To be upset my friend asked me for 5K?

The fact that your parents had to lend you 5k means you probably had no savings. You need all of this money as your savings pot. Which is actually only 13k after you paid your parents back. You dont even know how your new job will work out. Quite simply, you cannot afford to support your friend at this time. Once you have gotten back on your feet, in a year or so, you MAY be able to help by giving something you can afford to lose. You cannot afford this right now.

No way.. tell her you owe your parents a further £Xk for rent or whatever, that you need £2k- £3k to cover until first month salary and that you need a new car/holiday/ something therefore you dont have anything left to lend out

Then send her link to a debt advice charity

Suffice to say - she may have been your friend in the dim and distant past, but she absented herself when you were going through hard times. Nobody needs a fair-weather 'friend'.

You don’t have the money to give her. Simply say that. Allude to paying parents back. Leave it at that.

'I'm sorry but that doesn't work for me'
Use it in any situation and just keep repeating it till they get the message loud and clear.....

Be honest and say as you never want to be in the situation of worrying about having no money to hand again you're going to save every penny and you can't really afford to give away 5k.

I would probably choose to be visibly angry with her. Because frankly, I'd want her to piss off and never bother me again.

"Seriously? My God is this an asymmetrical friendship or what!?! When I was out of work and having to borrow from my parents just to keep a roof over my head and food on my plate, where the fuck were you? Nowhere! You didn't want to know. And I WAS suicidal! Is that why you're trying to guilt-trip me claiming you are suicidal over your ridiculous debt that you've built up by buying ridiculous things? You live with your parents, you have no worries about being homeless and hungry, do you? DO YOU? You've got a fuck-ton of disposable income - which you have pissed up the wall - so your spending must be completely stupid. Get out of my fucking sight! How dare you try to lay this shit on me? How Dare You!

Visibly angry. Expletive-laden. Uncompromising. That's how I would go.

I'm also feeling bitter because when I was struggling for money and really on my bones, my friend didn’t even offer me a food shop or anything else. Hated listening about what was happening at work and brushed it off. Never offered any advice and always turned the conversation to herself.

Remind yourself of this ^^ every time she asks. You don't owe her anything. Don't be guilt tripped in to giving her money. Next time she asks you need to tell her to stop asking because the answer will always be no. Why did you tell her about the settlement?

No, say you have invested it and can't access it. Did you tell her you got that money? Would seem a strange (possibly insensitive) thing to do with someone in debt, even if self inflicted.

She thinks you owe her for all the 'little house jobs' she has done for you.

She does not sound like much of a friend tbh. She's seen an opportunity for some free cash and she's not caring at all about the impact on you.

You need to say no. You need to accept this may end the friendship. And that's ok. As someone who would stop being your friend for saying No, is not a friend at all.

Please say no. She's also not much of a friend. I hope you find the strength to recognise that. I'm sorry you've been through all this.

Absolutely awful idea to lend her money, you know you would never see it again. Say you have invested it or your parents have invested it for you, you owe her no explanation.

She's one of those people who sees this as 'free money' and she feels she has some kind of right to a share of it.

It isn't and she hasn't.

I'd try to leave it until she asks again, as she will, and then just say 'no'.

The friend obviously has not the slightest idea, of how you have felt, or, what you’ve endured: otherwise, she would never have asked for £££ from you.
Also you now have to go through telling her she mayn’t have any of your money………. (what would she have done if you hadn’t had the payout!?).

I wonder if it would be better to put your refusal in actual writing, probably not even an email? Then she won’t be able to argue? Good luck, thinking of you.

If you can’t just say no, tell her the money has all gone on paying back your own debts. Stop sharing information with her about your finances. And since she’s been such a poor friend during your time if distress, rethink whether you need her in your life as “best” friend rather than a more casual acquaintance.

well you should never have discussed the finer details of your payout with her, but all you can do now is say 'sorry but I owe most of it back to my mum and dad and I have to cover bills of my own that were racked up while I've been out of work so it's all accounted for.'

Just in case you don’t already have enough people saying no - NO!
This person is not a friend.

The answer is no. No guilt. If you start to feel bad, read over what you wrote here.

She should be the one to feel guilty for even asking you given all you've described.

If sh tried to push the topic, then it should only reinforce your decision. It's a hard no. You need that money. You earned that money. You are not in a position to "loan" even a fraction.

Going forward, I wouldn't discuss finances with her. She clearly saw your 18k as a windfall.

If you find it difficult to say the words, send her a message - text, WhatsApp, email, - just saying, 'sorry, I can't help you'. And leave it there, you have no need to say anything more than No. Good luck.

I’m guessing she knows you’ve just had a pay out and so thinks you have money. She doesn’t need your money, just needs to budget more effectively.

Stay strong and say no. Point her in the direction of a bank loan to pay it off.

And if she mentions suicide etc point her in the direction of her gp or The Samaritans .

If you can find a little bit of anger that might help

She isn't seeing you, she is seeing some 'free money' you got that she feels she needs

Say no. Lose the friend. Look after yourself

Best of luck with your new job

I think you know the answer to this

I hope this thread has given you the confidence to say no to her.

Things will get better for you.

Never a borrower nor a lender be.
It will be the fastest way to end your friendship...if that's what you call it.
Only give it if you're prepared to never see it again

Just say no and block. Tbh she's no real friend, a real friend wouldn't ask this at all. Your probably better off without this so called friendship