AIBU to feel like I barely have any mum friends who relate to my life?

Lots of my friends are very different to me. I can't always relate to them and I feel sure they can't always relate to me. That's fine though. The important thing for me is that my friends are kind and a good laugh. My best pal is Muslim and has two boys. I'm atheist and childfree. We are always laughing together. You often find good friends where you least expect them.

What do you mean when you say they need to genuinely understand your situation? Do you mean they have to know what it's like to have kids?

I have lots of friends who I can relate to and who understands most of what goes on in my life, but we don't have to have shared life experiences. Some have kids, others don't. Some are married, others aren't.

When the kids were younger I had friends who had kids the same age and that was our common denominator. Some of those friendships have stuck, others have faded. If you want life-long friends I think you should look for people who you just get on with and have fun with but I don't see why it's necessary for them to also be mothers. You are more than just a mother and before you know it the kids will have grown up and if you are lucky you are left with some amazing friends that you have known a long time.

The one thing that struck me was your emphasis on "really relate".

I have a group of rock solid mum friends (we message daily, even though we usually spend half the day together anyway, and we've met up 9-10 times through December socially).

We can't all directly relate to each other because we all have different gripes, different work, different family situations. What makes us such good friends is our willingness to be there for each other no matter what and sympathise however silly we are in fact being. Our patios are always free for our husbands to be buried under.

So my advice is don't look for someone exactly like you. Look for someone who you can be that friend for.

A few years ago I made it my new years resolution to make friends. Which feels embarrassing but it's hard when you're an adult!
Things that I did- went to free council groups/ library sessions. If the kids were playing with someone, id suggest meeting up another time (awkward to start with!)

Used peanut app and arranged to meet at a toddler class so we saw each other weekly for a while.

Playdates at the park with school friends to get chatting with the mums. Bonus points if they have a younger one of a similar age too.

Not all of these meet ups led to real friendships but they did build confidence and acquaintances which helped, and a few led to proper friendships that I still see regularly years down the line.

What about school mums you know from your 5 year old’s class?

Have you tried the peanut app?